


Kryptonite

by No_Bark



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 2010s, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bottom Oh Sehun, Dokgo Rewind inspired, Drama, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2020-06-24 01:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 74,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19713781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Bark/pseuds/No_Bark
Summary: Super heroes are Sehun's passion. Saving people is his calling. He decides to start by ending the bullying problem in his high school, taking down the gang that terrorizes the students... then be the hero that everybody loves."If I go crazy then will you still call me superman?"





	1. Nothing's Too Tough

**Author's Note:**

> Yay another long-fic *mutters* why do I do this to myself...
> 
> Anyway. Story is based in year 2010, when Sehun and his best friend Jungkook are finally starting high school. Sehun is kind of obsessed with superheroes. Def inspired by Dokgo Rewind. 100%. Also very much drama.
> 
> I have enjoyed writing this story SO MUCH because I think I've been trying to write too much "good literature" and forgot what fanfics are all about: just having fun. And this fic is just that. It's my vent-fic. Oh also it's gonna be like 42 chapters so yeah. I promise weekly updates in the beginning.

\- March -

Another punch hits the punching bag as the young teenager imagines a big and bulky, disgusting man in front of him. This man is wanted for the rape of a 15-year-old high school girl and he should be held accountable for his actions…

And that is where Sehun, the superhero everybody needs, comes into play! He will save the young girl, his classmate, from the horrible destiny of being touched the wrong way by a man she doesn’t even know. After he has given the man a beating, the girl will cry out how Sehun saved her, and she will kiss his cheek and hug the air out of him… 

He stops when the door opens.

"Your new comic book came in the mail."

Sehun immediately drops everything he’s doing to check out the new issue of Marvel comics that just arrived. He grabs it from his father’s hand and plops down on his bed to cross his feet and first flip through the pages to see the cool pictures, and after that, he starts to read the first chapter.

"I don’t understand how you can still be so hyped up about superheros," Yongsoo, Sehun’s father, says as he looks at all the posters, comic books and figurines he has bought for his son. Even the sheets Sehun is sitting on are Spiderman sheets. Spiderman is his favorite. "Always a child, I presume."

"Dad, can you… buy me a new Batman figurine? It’s like 14 inches tall and-"

"No." Sehun’s persuasive puppy eyes don’t have an effect on his father. Yongsoo glares at his son. "Let me guess, and it’s brand new? Which means that I’ll go bankrupt before you come of age."

"Daaad… It’s my birthday soon…" Sehun whines, trying to look as pathetic as he can to his father.

"Your birthday isn’t in a month, so don’t you whine to me. Come back when you are in need of something actually important, like my paternal love and affection," Yongsoo says and waves his hand before walking out the door, leaving Sehun alone in his room that is ridiculously full of everything that has anything to do with superheroes. He doesn’t have a single villain in his room, not even those who are borderline good and bad - Deadpool has not found a way into his heart. 

He takes his comic back into his face before his phone blings. He opens the group chat where the three of his best friends are already craving for his attention.

_ Baekkie: hi gang. we should meet up _

_ Amber: sure. our usual place? _

_ Kookie~: Of course. I’ll be there in a second. _

Sehun doesn’t have to think long what to reply to his friends.

_ Sehun: I’m coming over ~ _

_ Kookie~: Cool _

_ Amber: already on my way _

Sehun jumps off his bed and makes his way downstairs. His and Sejin’s bedrooms are upstairs and the parents’ downstairs. There are only their rooms and a bathroom and there is nothing but a small hallway with three doors on the other side and railing on the other. The stairs lead down into the living room. Sehun makes his way through the kitchen to catch an apple and bite into it, just quickly raising his arm to his mother who’s on her small laptop, blogging about something dumb like cross-stitches.

"Going out with your friends, Sehuna?" Jangmi asks.

"Uh-huh."

"Well, come home before it gets dark outside." And she never even raises her head to spare a glance at him. Sehun only nods before making his way to the front door and throwing it open, only to be greeted by his big brother who just came back from the library.

"Hi, Sehuna. Where are you going?"

"Our usual meeting place," is his simple reply. Sejin furrows his eyebrows.

"Since when have you four had a usual meeting place? Is there something I should know?" he worries. He is always worried. Sehun rolls his eyes and takes a bite out of his apple, speaking with his mouth open and the juices flowing everywhere.

"Well, I did get a new comic book today, and dad promised to buy me a new Batman figurine, so I guess that’s kinda cool," he says. 

"No, Sehun, this is not something to make fun of. Tell me the address of this so-called ‘usual meeting place’ and-"

"I’m not telling you anything! It’s our secret hideout! You can’t know where it is," Sehun snarls before pushing Sejin away and making his way through the doorway. The university student has no choice but to let his little brother go and do whatever the hell he does with his friends.

The weather is lovely. It’s spring and a new school year starts soon. Sehun is already a big boy and starts high school - and next month, he will turn 16! He feels like an adult already. The only hard part about coming of age is that his brother keeps pampering him. Sometimes Sehun wishes that his brother was more like their mother - indifferent. She doesn’t care about anything and she sure as hell doesn’t pay any attention to her sons. 

But maybe Sejin just feels obliged to take care of Sehun, after all, he is his little brother who he has sworn to protect with his whole life.

Sehun makes his way through the twists and turns until he comes to an abandoned little shack. Two of his friends, Amber and Baekhyun, are already there. Jungkook has the longest way to the shack so he’s always the last.

The shack is covered in dust and the plate roof is full of holes that let the sun shine in, hitting Amber’s face and making her look like an angel. A pity that now that school starts again, she has to dye her hair back to black to fit the dress code. The back wall is filled with graffitis and the most prominent ones are Jungkook’s masterpieces - he has spray painted all of their faces on the wall, and he has the talent. Amber wanted the piece to look like her, so it’s painted with the colors of the rainbow. Sehun is painted with red and blue, the outlines with white. Baekhyun is painted with all the bright colors whereas Jungkook is painted with dark blue colors. Yes, Jungkook is still in his emo phase, but for a good reason.

"If it isn’t the captain," Amber smiles.

"Think fast!" Baekhyun yells when he throws a metal pipe at Sehun who, instead of trying to grab it, dodges it successfully. He takes a sharp breath.

"Dude! Don’t throw things at me! I might’ve gotten hurt…" Sehun pouts, but then he starts laughing. He does not believe in the concept of he getting hurt.

"I can’t believe that the two of you are finally coming to high school - you know what that means?" Amber asks when she makes her way to Sehun to rub his hair. He’s still shorter than her - he is only 15 and puberty hasn’t hit him that hard yet. Of course he’s skinny and lanky and his face is oily but weirdly absent of zits. Amber and Baekhyun are already 16 and the boy is slightly taller than the younger one.

"It means that the four us can spend time together all day every day!" Baekhyun exclaims.

"And find the bad guys and stop them!" Sehun exhilarates. Baekhyun ruffles his hair as well when they hear panting coming from the doorway into the shack. Jungkook makes his way in and smiles widely when seeing his friends, but when breathing in the dusty air, he starts coughing.

Sehun runs over to his best friend and hugs him tightly. He has a nasty-looking bruise on his cheek and it makes Sehun very worried. Of course it isn’t anything new, but it’s still worth getting worried about.

"Hi, Sehun," he says with a soft voice that makes Sehun hug the living daylight out of him. The slightly younger one utters a laughter when he almost hears his bones crack.

"I haven’t seen you in three weeks," Sehun says as he finally breaks the hug, his eyes soft and eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you were mad at me or something."

"No, no, it was my father again… he just didn’t want me to leave the house."

"You should’ve told me. Me and dad would’ve picked you up," Sehun tries to persuade but Jungkook shakes his head immediately. Sehun tries the bruise on his cheek.

"No, that would’ve made dad angrier. Let’s just… focus on something more positive, okay? Don’t worry about me, Sehun."

"Don’t worry about me, he says," Baekhyun starts, "as he comes to us looking like a beat up dog. Dude, what in the world ever happened to you?"

Sehun still forgets sometimes that Baekhyun and Amber don’t know about Jungkook’s father. Sehun has taken it as his personal objective to protect his best friend, but feels like a failure every time Jungkook comes back to him with a black eye. And he knows that there is nothing that he can do. The worst part is that Jungkook doesn’t even want to leave his home. Or, maybe he wants, but he is too scared to do so.

"Ah, it’s nothing, really. I was just clumsy and hit the cabinet with my cheek. It’s okay," he tries to assure but makes Sehun look at him worriedly before hugging the air out of him again. 

"You’re always clumsy," Amber points out with a sad smile. "But I guess we should start practicing, right? The evil in our school won’t rest."

"Oh, is it still as bad in high school as it was last year? I mean, when you were trying to scare us…" Jungkook wonders. Baekhyun and Amber glance at each other.

"It is. But, you know, with the four of us, I believe we can make it stop," Amber assures. "The four of us can do anything together if we just practice some more."

"Yes!" Sehun exhilarates as he already takes a position in front of her and is ready for a fight. Everyone in their group has some background of martial arts… except Sehun. All of them know something about fighting and self-defence tactics - except Sehun. He just swings his fists and mimics the three of them to the best of his ability. The three have to use their imagination as well. Amber and Jungkook have both practiced taekwondo, but Baekhyun is a master of hapkido. And all three of them have to make sure not to beat up Sehun too hard.

Sehun takes his form as Amber approaches him. He keeps his stance and stares at Amber intently… before the girl slaps his head and starts laughing. Sehun just rubs the spot.

"That wasn’t even a taekwondo move! You should’ve dodged," Baekhyun tsks. Sehun growls and stomps his foot on the ground.

"And maybe, uhm… cut your hair? It’s getting in your eyes," Amber teases. "I have shorter hair than you and I’m a girl."

"You cannot be counted as one of the girls, you know-" Sehun says when he earns another smack from Amber, and before he knows it, he’s already on the ground holding his side. 

"You should practice your balance. Remind me to share with you my workout schedule, since Baekhyun’s doesn’t seem to be helping. Unless it’s too tough for you…" Amber laughs. Sehun stands up determinedly and glares at his friend.

"It’s not too tough for me!" Sehun grunts as he takes his stance again, ready to be beat up by his senpais again. "Nothing in this world is too tough for me to handle."

"You have persistence, I must admit," Baekhyun says as he pushes Amber away and takes her place. "But you don’t have much knowledge about what you’re doing."

"I know what I’m doing!"

"You know, when we took you as our apprentice six months ago, we didn’t imagine you would be such… lost cause," he says. 

This makes Sehun so furious that he charges at Baekhyun head on and pushes the older one to the ground. When Baekhyun looks up at him with big shocked eyes, Sehun smiles victoriously. It took all his effort just to knock Baekhyun down.

"Maybe we should just focus on punching… for now," the older boy says as he pats his sore back. Sehun smirks and is ready to knock his friend out.


	2. Protective

A boy in the hallways lurks in the shadows. He has big glasses and a fearful look on his face as he keeps looking around himself, holding his backpack tightly. When his eyes meet one senior’s eyes, his head lowers in submission. 

Sehun witnesses the scene with disbelief. He starts to cook up some conspiracy theories about the relationship between the two boys and can only come to one conclusion - the submissive looking boy must be tortured by the other one! He knows it, he can just feel it in his bones. Sehun decides to keep an eye on the said boy and if anybody dares messing with him, he will protect him.

It’s a good thing Sehun promised to do such a thing, because only a couple hours later he witnesses the boy being dragged into the restroom by two other boys. He hears a loud noise and muffled yelling as he hurriedly makes his way to the public school restroom and peeks into the room before hearing the words, "Where’s the money?"

"I-I gave you all I have already-- I’ll have more tomorrow--" the boy stutters when the other one before him pushes him against the wall and the other hits his stomach once. The boy huffs, now holding his stomach and breathing in through his teeth, his whole body shivering.

"Your debt to the boss isn’t paid," one of the bullies says before starting to make his way back to the door. Sehun immediately flees from the door and breathes quickly, feeling his adrenaline flowing through his body. If only he had the strength to show those bastards who’s the boss right here and now...!

He takes some distance to the restroom door when the boys walk away. After that he peeks in again to see the boy with glasses breathing deep before the mirror and just looking at himself. He looks... handsome. And rich. His face looks so smooth and his hair like he’d just come from a hair salon. Sehun has always thought that rich kids don’t get bullied, but maybe he’s wrong. The boy did say that he doesn’t have any more money, anyway.

Before he dares to leave, the handsome boy glances at him peeking through the door. To Sehun the look feels like the most intense one he’s ever been in. The boy turns to him, his brown eyes piercing through Sehun’s before he feels his face heating, knees faltering and vision blurring... and his legs taking him as far away from the restroom as they can. 

The hallway doors pass right by him with flashes. Sehun has been so sure about his ability to take down a bully... yet now he could do nothing but stand idle, witnessing the scene from afar. Why didn’t he do anything? Why couldn’t he at least talk to the boy?

Next time... next time he will do something...! He will be the boy’s...  _ hero _ .

***

"Today I saw some guy being taken to the restroom. Two boys gripped his arms and demanded money," Sehun explains as he walks in circles in their hideout. Amber, Baekhyun and Jungkook listen to him intently, nodding along. The wind blows in and the rain falls through the holes in the roof.

"Big oof," Baekhyun says. "We should help him. What does he look like?"

"...Skinny... rich... brown, soft hair that looks like it’s just done. And goodness - his clothing is so clean and looks like it’s just pressed and his backpack was black and looked like it was design... Andandand he had black-"

"Eyeglasses? I think I know who you’re talking about. I’ve talked to him once - Kim Junmyeon," Amber says. "He’s an 11th grader, too."

"How does a rich kid get bullied?" Sehun wonders.

"Getting shit from life isn’t something that only happens to the minorities and poor people. Rich, entitled people just... get less of it. But still some of it," Baekhyun lectures. 

"Oh. I thought he could just... pay them off."

"The world isn’t that black and white. They probably threaten him for money because he is rich," Amber points out. "And if he has no friends or people to hang out with, then he’s an easy target."

"Then we should become his friends and protect him!" Sehun exclaims with determination to which the two older ones smile and Jungkook stays quiet. He is often just quiet.

"You’re just too adorable to exist," Amber says. "You make me feel so many emotions."

"We have to protect this kid’s innocence. Let’s raise him well," Baekhyun joins the girl and Sehun huffs, almost stomping his foot on the ground. He hates it the most when people call him cute or anything of the like. 

"Should I call you Mom and Dad then? Because you’re so old?" Sehun tries being snarky back but the two bat their eyes. Baekhyun puts his arm around Sehun’s neck and starts to mess up his hair. Sehun yells him to stop and tries to wriggle away but can’t stop smiling.

"You’re our baby," Baekhyun says with an evil tone in his voice.

"Hyung! Stop it!"

"You called me hyung! How about calling me appa?"

"Aish! No!"

"Guys! We were supposed to talk about Junmyeon!" Amber huffs. "Ugh. Guys. This is why I need a girl."

"We were just playing around," Baekhyun says as he relieves Sehun from his death grip. Sehun immediately tries to fix his hair, which is a lost cause. When he gets home, his father and brother will definitely jump on him and ask him about what happened a million times. For some reason, they have this urgent need to make sure that everything in Sehun’s life is okay and that nobody touches him the wrong way.

"Yeah, we were just playing," Sehun echoes as he collects himself and walks to his best friend who keeps looking down at the ground. He looks at the boy from down and meets Jungkook’s distant eyes. Sehun smiles a bit to his friend. "Are you alright?"

"I saw someone in my class getting bullied today," Jungkook confesses, to which all of them ooh. "It was a chubbier girl. And because all the bullies were girls, I didn’t dare to do anything about it..." 

"Show me who they are tomorrow and I’ll take care of it," Amber says and smiles to the youngest one. Jungkook utters a shy smile, but it drops immediately. Sehun can see from the way he acts that his father has done something again. 

"I should probably go home soon. Dad doesn’t like it when I’m gone for so long."

"Stay a little longer. Sehun didn’t tell us all the details about this incident with Junmyeon yet," Amber tries to persuade. Jungkook turns to look at the ground again. Sehun rubs his shoulder.

"If you have to go, then go. We’ll text you later," he says when trying to find Jungkook’s eyes. The younger one avoids eye contact, but Sehun comes closer to whisper in his ear. "If anything happens or you need a place to stay, just tell me so me and Dad can pick you up."

"I need to go. I’ll see you all tomorrow," is the only thing Jungkook replies before running away with the same blank look on his face. Sehun pouts after him before turning back to his two other friends.

"His father’s such a control freak. Sometimes makes you wonder what’s really going on inside the Jeon household," Baekhyun says seriously as he crouches and stares at the ground where a puddle has been born. Sehun closes his eyes for a moment, pushing away the memories of Jungkook crying to him many times about what his father has done. And all those nights that him and his father have picked him up, those nights that he slept on a mattress on Sehun’s floor, those nights that they started with crying and ended with reading comics together or watching a movie... always doing something that had to do with superheroes, always doing something that Sehun wanted, always doing what Sehun thought would make him feel better.

And when it comes to Jungkook, and protecting bullied kids, Sehun is just like his father and his brother... someone who always looks and worries after other people.

"Details. We need details. Who were the boys who got on Junmyeon?" Amber asks. Sehun turns to her and blinks a few times, trying to come back down from his thoughts.

"I don’t know who they were, but they said something about that his debt to the boss isn’t paid yet."

"Any idea who the boss is?" Baekhyun wonders.

"Earlier today I saw some senior glaring at Junmyeon. I don’t know who he is, but I can assume that guy might’ve been it."

"Whatever the case, we must talk to Junmyeon and tell that we know. We should let him know that he can come to us for help. And then we have to find whoever the boss is and take down their little gang," Baekhyun says as he keeps walking back and forth. Amber and Sehun agree - they have took it as their task to bring an end to this bullying cycle.


	3. Friends

\- April -

Sehun has spent the whole week stalking Junmyeon. He hasn’t gone exactly unnoticed by the elder, as the 11th grader keeps eyeing behind himself, looking over his shoulder to see the junior student lurking behind. Junmyeon has tried his hardest to brush it off and even run away, but Sehun knows that it’s because he’s afraid of the bullies who might attack him any minute.

Right now the hallway is crowded and Junmyeon is buried in his locker, looking for something or just hiding in plain sight. He keeps looking over to Sehun, throwing a worried glance at his way. Sehun does the same as him, buries his head in his locker and tries to seem like he wasn’t staring. Even the other students in the hallway notice the way Sehun follows him, like he was a teenage girl and Junmyeon was just debuted kpop idol.

The 11th grader throws the locker door close and starts making his way towards the younger one. Sehun freezes and now tries to hide himself in his locker. He was the one who was supposed to approach Junmyeon, not the other way around… 

And since he was the one who promised to talk to Junmyeon first, his friends haven’t approached the older one either… 

“I’m sorry,” Junmyeon starts with a silent and tender voice, gripping his backpack tightly and avoiding looking at Sehun, yet still talking to him, “tell Minseok I don’t have any money on me today. I’ll have more tomorrow.”

“Who’s Minseok?” Sehun asks as he bats his eyes innocently. Wow, Junmyeon looks rich and so handsome up close. They’re almost the same height… Sehun is just a little shorter than him, but he’ll grow tall, just like his brother and father.

Junmyeon looks baffled. He now makes eye contact with the slightly shorter one and scratches his neck awkwardly. “You don’t know Minseok? He didn’t send you?”

“No. Me and my friends have took it as our mission to end bullying in this school, so if Minseok is a bully, you should tell me who he is so me and my friends can take him down,” Sehun kindly explains. That makes Junmyeon blush and smile very awkwardly. His voice shivers lightly. To Sehun it seems like Junmyeon is really flustered and silently thankful about the rescue mission. 

“You have took it as your mission? That’s so sweet of you…” he says, tilts his head and flashes a shy smile. It looks rather sad yet admiring at the same time. “And, well… Minseok is… a senior, who used to be my best friend. Until he… wasn’t.”

“Until he started bullying people?”

“Not just any people. When he started bullying me,” Junmyeon says and turns his look back to the ground. Sehun bats his eyes innocently again. 

“Don’t worry. Me and my friends will protect you from now on,” Sehun says, which makes Junmyeon shocked.

“Really? I don’t even know who you are…”

“Oh. My name is Oh Sehun. My friends are Amber, Baekhyun and Jungkook.”

“I know Amber. She’s nice,” he says with a bright smile. Sehun nods enthusiastically.

“Yeah, she is!” he says at the same time with the bells that ring the students to classes. “Can I get your number? You should meet me and my friends after school. We have this cool hideout where we plot against the bullies of our school…”

“Sure,” Junmyeon smiles as Sehun hands him his phone. “My name is Kim Junmyeon, by the way.”

“I… knew that already.”

“I figured as much,” Junmyeon says as he types his number to Sehun’s old cell phone. It doesn’t take him long. He only flashes Sehun a bright smile as he leaves the younger one alone to attend his math class. Sehun feels his head starting to heat up and his cheeks burning. Why did Junmyeon make him feel that way? Is it because this is the first person that he can save in high school? 

Is it because he’s going to be Junmyeon’s hero?

He shakes his head and smiles in a dumb manner when walking to the class, some other students snickering at him when he clutches his phone with a red face. He walks to the front of the class and takes a seat next to Jungkook who’s already studying, reading the next chapter of their biology book.

“You look happy,” he says in a formal way as Sehun starts biting his lips and hides his face from the world. Jungkook doesn’t even spare a glance at him. “What happened?”

The way Jungkook asks things always sounds like something’s wrong. Like Sehun had done something wrong… 

“I got his number.” He can practically hear some girls ooh right next to him and then gossipping and snickering. He has no idea as to why they are doing that, but he decides to ignore it. Jungkook, however, jumps up and almost hits his legs to the desk. 

“You did? What did he say?”

“I invited him to our hideout today. We should all be there to welcome him.” Jungkook’s eyes become dark as he looks back at his desk. He lowers his voice so nobody else would hear the two of them.

“You know what dad thinks about it when I don’t come home from school… I have to do chores and study today…” 

“Is there no way you could convince him to let you go? I mean… you have to be there when Junmyeon comes.” Sehun tries to get closer to him, but their desks are already almost touching. And since they sit in the first row, they keep blocking the view from the guys at the back. Thankfully the back row boys don’t even care about studying. 

“...I’ll try to make it… but if I don’t, you understand why.” The slightly older one sighs deep in defeat.

“And I won’t say a word about it to them. You should tell them, though.”

“It is enough for me that you and your father know. I don’t need to tell anybody else.”

“Not even the nurse? You should talk about it with someone…” Sehun tries to persuade, but already knows what Jungkook’s reply will be. He never listens Sehun when it comes to this topic. Sehun understands it though - the subject is very sensitive to his best friend.

“Who? Sehun, I’m not the only one in this kind of situation, it’s nothing special.” And the way he underrates his problems just makes Sehun frustrated. The other can hear it from his voice.

“Jungkook…” 

And just then the teacher walks in. Jungkook doesn’t say a thing, though Sehun keeps eyeing him. 

***

Sehun decides to text Junmyeon. The 11th grader is standing before the gates and looking up at the sky. It’s going to rain soon, since it’s spring and the sky is cloudy. The wind plays with the older boy’s hair softly. Junmyeon looks breathtaking and aesthetically pleasing - so perfect he could almost be a character from Sehun’s comics.

Junmyeon would look so good in Spiderman outfit. The thought  [ exhilarates ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z12th5E4fTg) Sehun. 

Other students rush through the gates but Junmyeon waits. When he sees Sehun and Jungkook walking towards him, he flashes them a smile. Sehun smiles right back at him, but Jungkook keeps his eyes on the ground.

“Hi, Junmyeon. Are you ready? Amber and Baekhyun are already waiting there,” Sehun says. “They had a shorter school day.”

“I’m excited to meet them. And who is this?” Junmyeon asks as he looks at Jungkook. He speaks so formally and so politely. He is also quick to trust other people despite the circumstances he’s in. Guess Sehun just has that something that makes him very easy to trust: his radiating innocence and enthusiasm. 

“This is Jungkook, my best friend. He’s not coming with us today, but you’ll become friends eventually, too!” Sehun says and makes Junmyeon smile wider. Jungkook raises his head and looks at Junmyeon with a rather gloomy look on his face before turning to Sehun and saying bye. He’s quick to take his leave and Sehun and Junmyeon are left alone. Junmyeon looks back at Jungkook and awkwardly scratches his neck again. “Sorry. He’s just having a rough day.”

“It’s okay.” They stay silent for a moment. Sehun isn’t awkward at all with new people, but it is clear to him that Junmyeon is. He’s almost shivering.

“Should we get going, then?” Sehun asks and Junmyeon nods. They start making their way to their little hideout that isn’t too far away from the school. The whole way through they just talk about things.

“Are you originally from here? From Seoul?” Junmyeon wonders out loud as soon as they take a step outside the gates. The traffic is busy and they practically have to yell to hear each other.

“Me? Oh, no. We used to live in Siheung. But we moved to Seoul when I was five. I don’t remember much of it. Dad decided we should move because he got offered a better place for his company. My grandmother still lives there.”

“What kind of company does your father own?” Junmyeon yells as they make their way out of the busy main street and make their way into an alleyway that’s a lot more quiet. The streets are narrow. Someone is smoking a cigarette on their balcony.

“IT company. He does cloud computing… things. I’m not quite sure what it means, but I try to pretend to be interested when he talks about it,” Sehun chuckles. Junmyeon just flashes a smile at him. “What do your parents do, then?”

“Oh, my father is a really well-known surgeon and my mother is a lawyer. They want me to be a doctor or a lawyer, too, but I don’t really care for either of them.” Sehun jumps over a puddle. He likes making new acquaintances and new friends. He hardly knows Junmyeon but it feels like they could become friends… it’s not like Junmyeon has a lot of options, anyway.

“What do you want to be then, if not a doctor or a lawyer?”

“An author. Or a journalist… preferably I would make my living by writing fantasy and sci-fi stories… Or in the movie business! I would love to be a scriptwriter for movies, TV shows, dramas or video games… As long as I get to tell stories, I don’t care what my job title is called,” Junmyeon says enthusiastically. Sehun bats his eyes innocently a couple of times when jumping over another puddle as they go to another narrow street.

“You sound really enthusiastic about your dream. Do you think you’ll make it?”

“Of course. Or, at least, I hope so. I want to try my everything in order to achieve my dream… but if it doesn’t fulfill, then I’m going to stay as a fanfiction author and continue publishing my works to people who like the same animes as I do… I’m not going to jeopardize my financial well-being because of my dreams.” Sehun sighs dreamily. “Don’t you have a dream?”

“Of course I do. I want to be a hero… but like… I understand that heroes only exist in fiction, but I want to be a… real-life superhero. Like a firefighter, or a police officer, or a detective, or, or…”

Junmyeon utters a laughter at the younger one’s enthusiasm, “Real-life superheroes exist in our everyday lives, and they don’t always have such fancy job titles as firefighter or a police officer. I would say that my little brother is my hero - not because he has literally saved my life, but because he’s always been there for me. He’s someone I can always count on. And that, I think, is what being a hero is really about.”

“Yeah, but… I want to literally save other people’s lives,” Sehun explains, completely ignoring Junmyeon’s previous monologue. He turns to Junmyeon and stares at him with wide eyes. “I want to be someone who people can always count on when things get rough, someone who makes things right. Someone who saves other people.”

“That’s sweet of you. I believe you can achieve that dream,” Junmyeon says. Sehun nods when turning yet again, finally coming to their hideout.

“I believe in my dream, too.”

They make their way inside where Baekhyun and Amber are practicing their combat skills. They are doing something a bit more… street fight looking. 

“Hi, guys,” Sehun greets the two. Baekhyun immediately turns his attention to the two and gets smacked in the face by Amber. He groans in pain, which only makes Sehun chuckle and Junmyeon look at them worriedly.

“Hi, Sehun, Junmyeon,” Amber says with a voice that still has the foreign accent. “It’s nice to see you here.”

“It’s nice to see you again, too,” Junmyeon says. “Sehun told me that the four of you, including Jungkook, are… trying to do something about the bullying issue in our school.”

“Yeah, we are!” Baekhyun immediately confesses. Junmyeon has a worried look on his face, still, as he raises his eyeglasses a bit.

“How long have you been stalking me?”

“Just a week or two…” Amber says.

“We haven’t been stalking!” Sehun protests, his face getting slightly red as he sits on the dusty ground on his butt. 

“Yeah, Sehun has been stalking,” Baekhyun exclaims as he crouches on the floor and grins at Sehun who becomes even more red.

“They told me to!” Sehun tells Junmyeon who chuckles.

“It’s okay. I know you guys had good intentions… and, well, I know something about this whole bullying thing because I know Minseok, the guy who runs the gang,” Junmyeon says and crosses his arms on his chest. Baekhyun raises his eyebrows.

“Minseok? Kim Minseok?” he asks. 

“You know him?” Junmyeon wonders.

“We used to be in the same team. We attended the same hapkido classes. He was really good, but never beat me, since I was the best. He was nice, until he… wasn’t.”

“Junmyeon said the same thing today!” Sehun exclaims. 

“Minseok used to be my best friend in elementary school, but everything changed in middle school,” Junmyeon recalls.

“What happened then?” Amber asks. Junmyeon shakes his head and looks at her apologetically.

“He just… changed. I told him something, and then he just… snapped. He started to take distance to me and hang out with some thugs, started smoking and drinking. It hurt me to see him ruin his life like that. These days I don’t care what happens to him… All I’m asking is that he leaves me alone.”

“Don’t worry. We’re here to make sure he doesn’t bother you,” Sehun smiles at the slightly older one. When their eyes meet and Junmyeon smiles right back at Sehun, the younger one feels his cheeks heating up again and his head feels light. He wants to make Junmyeon happy. Being around him is exhilarating. 

“You guys are really the sweetest. Wish the world had more people like you. People who dared to speak up and do something to make a change,” Junmyeon says, making all of them grin.

“Well, we gotta compensate for the fact that none of us nail school, so…” Amber says as she scratches her neck.

“Excuse me, but did you see my last report card? I nail school,” Baekhyun huffs, making Amber roll her eyes.

“If your objective is to work construction, then yes, you’ve nailed it.”

“Nothing wrong with honest work.”

“My dad’s a construction worker, too, maybe he could put in a good word for you.” 

“I’d appreciate that.”

“Guys,” Sehun says, “we were supposed to talk about the gang. Not your future plans.”

“Oh, right, what am I saying,” Baekhyun says as he looks up at Junmyeon. “How do we take down Minseok? Any ideas?”

“No, not really. The person I knew in the past is someone else today. I… can’t say anything else about him.”

“Nothing? Anything? Like… what kind of family he has or anything?”

“He never told me about his family. All I knew is that he really cared about his little sister. He always visited me but I never visited him. He’s from a low-class family.”

“Is that why he keeps demanding your money?” Sehun asks. Junmyeon furrows his eyebrows.

“Feels like I owe it to him.”

“You don’t owe him anything. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of him,” Sehun assures. Junmyeon smiles slightly and nods his head. “And uh… maybe if you started to hang out with us, then maybe he would give you less trouble. Because you’re not alone.”

Junmyeon looks at Sehun with such pain in his eyes that it physically hurts Sehun. He wants Junmyeon to be with them. That way he can make sure that Junmyeon is alright. “I don’t know… Do you want me?”

“Yes,” Sehun replies immediately without hesitation. After that they share a long stare and for some reason Sehun feels like his heart almost skips a beat as he looks deep into Junmyeon’s dark brown eyes that look slightly smaller through the glasses… 

“You’re free to join us anytime,” Amber says. “I don’t mind.”

“Neither do I,” Baekhyun says.

“But what about Jungkook? He didn’t look too excited when he saw me…” Junmyeon worries.   
“Jungkook never looks like he wants to be with people. He’s also super jealous when Sehun hangs out with other people…” Baekhyun spills the tea. Sehun snorts immediately. The pain in Junmyeon’s eyes could almost be seen.

“Is there… something going on between you two…?” Junmyeon dares to ask. Sehun almost chokes on air and Baekhyun and Amber burst out laughing.

“Why do people keep asking that?! Me and Jungkook are just friends and have always been nothing but friends! There is nothing else going on between us! Besides, neither of us swings that way. We’re straight,” Sehun says with such confidence. Such confidence that you could hear from his voice that he really believes every word he says, whether they were true or not.

“You just keep telling yourself that, young apprentice,” Amber snickers as she ruffles Sehun’s hair. This makes Junmyeon blush and chuckle behind his hand.

“I should probably get home soon. My parents are home soon, so…” Junmyeon explains. The three of them nod.

“We’ll see you… tomorrow?” Sehun asks. Junmyeon just nods his head as he makes his way away from the shack, waving his hand at them. They wave their hands back at him.

And as soon as he’s out of sight, Baekhyun playfully kicks Sehun to the ground. Sehun huffs and kicks him right back, missing horribly.

“Yah! What the hell was that about?” the youngest one asks while waving his fists in the air. Amber crouches next to him and smiles wide, poking his cheek. Her finger feels so cold.

“Get you a girl who looks at you the way Sehun looks at Junmyeon,” Baekhyun teases. Amber laughs and starts stretching Sehun’s cheeks, making the youngest one blush even deeper.

“What? What do you mean? Hyung??” 

“He means,” Amber starts, “that you got so red and giggly when you talked to Junmyeon.”

“I did not!”

“You did!” Amber chuckles. “There’s nothing wrong with it, okay? You’ve been stalking him for like a week and, well, I would be flustered if I were you, too.”

“...Nah, I ship it,” Baekhyun blurts out. “Sehun definitely has a crush.”

“No, I don’t!” Sehun immediately protests and gets up, now pushing Baekhyun as hard as he can. “Let’s settle it with a fight!”

“...Or, you could just confess. Dude, you literally started talking to me just because I won the martial arts tournament in middle school. Why are you picking fights you know you can’t win? Maybe you should fight with girls.”

“Ahem,” Amber clears her throat. “I’m a girl and I’ve beat Sehun up like a million times.”

“You’re no girl!!” Sehun argues back again. “You don’t even dress like a girl! Like, you wear men’s school uniform!”

“So what?! I like it!”

Sehun dashes at Baekhyun again and starts punching his chest, but the older one keeps holding him by his head and sighs deeply. Sehun’s punches are practically nothing.


	4. Ice Cream Cake

After a successful day of protecting Junmyeon in school, Sehun heads home. Today is his birthday and his friends mostly gave him chocolate and other candy as a present, but he knows that there will be something more waiting for him when he gets home. Junmyeon, who didn’t know that today was his birthday, just gave Sehun a hug that the younger one wanted to last forever. 

The keys in his hands jingle as he takes them out of his pocket to get inside his house. The day is bright and the sun keeps shining - it could not be a better spring day. Summer is coming and that makes Sehun excited. During the summer holiday, he’s going to do so many things with his friends, including the new friend Junmyeon, and maybe his brother Jongin, who happens to also know Jungkook. The two attend the same dance practices and really like theater. 

Jungkook isn’t too keen on Junmyeon yet, though. Sehun will make it change, however.

He opens the door to open a view to his brother watching something on TV and eating popcorn. Of course, he must have had a shorter day at the university and he’s probably done all his schoolwork for the day, too.

But wait… the noises sound familiar. Sehun barges into the room.

“Wolverine!”

“Don’t say anything more,” Sejin hushes when Sehun plops down on the couch next to him and stares at the movie intently, sometimes stealing some popcorn from his hyung. Sejin tries to keep the bowl all to himself, since Sehun is being way too possessive about it. And he has his legs resting on Sejin’s lap, which irritates the hell out of the older brother.

“Hey! It’s my birthday! I’m gonna tell Dad if you don’t share!”

“What are you, like twelve? We don’t do that anymore,” Sejin huffs and takes his popcorn away from him. Sehun tries to reach them and then the movie is ruined. The older brother just sighs deeply and pauses the film. 

“I pray for you every night and this is how you treat me?”

“Haa-haa.”

“Did you have a present for me?” Sehun changes the subject with sparkling eyes. He still has his backpack on him, and he must admit, sitting in that position - with his legs thrown over his brother’s lap - kind of stretches him.

Sejin sighs deeply and stands up, making his way upstairs. Sehun sits up straight, excited to see what his brother got him. Sejin and Dad always buy the best gifts, because they’re the ones who know Sehun the best. But his mother, she isn’t as good with the gifts. She understands her husband and her older son better, but when it comes to Sehun, she just doesn’t seem to get him.

Sehun tries not to mind, but his mother walks into the living room with a faint smile and timid steps. She has something in her hands - looks like a framed picture and a pair of woolen stockings. Sehun prays in his mind that his mother did not make those for him, because he has to pretend that he likes them a lot and that he really appreciates what his mother did for him, but he really doesn’t. It would have been cool if she’d at least made a cross-stitch of something like X-Men… or Spiderman. She knows how much he likes Spiderman. He is, after all, the best of the superheroes.

“I did these for you,” the mother says. Sehun tries not to sigh in defeat. If it’s another cat cross-stitch then he’s going to burst. He has like a million of them and he doesn’t need one more. “I asked Sejin and Yongsoo what you would want, and they both said that it has to be something else than what I’ve given you before… But you know me, I don’t know about these superheroes, and I want it to be something that you can appreciate afterwards, when you’re not obsessed with these heroes anymore…”

That hit hard. Sehun is never going to get tired of superheroes! How could she say something like that? It almost makes Sehun want to give her a piece of his mind, or at least ask for another present.

And just then she hands over her presents - grey woolen stockings, a small golden cross necklace and an oil painting this time, not a cross-stitch, of a portrait that he and Jungkook took a while back. He tries the paint with his hands. It has a jagged surface. The detail and amount of time she has put into this can clearly be seen. They have their arms over each other’s shoulders and they smile widely, leaning their heads against each other.

She gets up and places a kiss on his forehead before making her way back to the kitchen where she was blogging again. Before going into the room, however, she turns back at her son.

“You like it, right? I spent a lot of time on it,” she says. Sehun hugs the painting and turns to her. It’s always a little awkward with her these days.

“I love it,” he says with a sincere look on his face, never flashing a smile. Her weary and worn out face changes into a smile, her wrinkles becoming more evident on her face. “When’s Dad coming home?”

The smile on her face immediately drops and changes back into a rather sad and serious one. He has always liked his father more. At least Sejin hasn’t been as biased. He genuinely likes the cross-stitches that their mother makes… 

“Around five. So you have plenty of time before he’s going to give you your present.” And then she just leaves. Sehun looks after her and can see how she takes a seat before the kitchen table, back facing her son and some light pink pastel-colored blog opened on her small laptop’s screen. She has a grey knit garment on her - one that she made herself. She takes a sip of her vanilla tea. She’s always cold.

Sehun looks back at his present and wonders if he did something to make his mother sad again. She’s always sad, and Sehun keeps wondering if it’s because of him. He would like to think that it isn’t. And he would like to do something to make her happier… but she hasn’t exactly tried to make him happier, either, and no matter how hard he tries, she just never seems to get a kick out of anything. The only thing that seems to make her genuinely happy is Yongsoo.

Sejin runs down the stairs and almost trips, exclaiming that his life just flashed before his eyes. Sehun just laughs at him when he makes his way to the couch and plops down, looking at the presents on his lap. 

“I see Mom already gave you her presents. Do you like them?” 

Sehun bites his lips. He contemplates whether or not to lie. He actually really likes the painting, but the necklace and the stockings are really pushing it.

“I like the painting. You have to help me put it on my wall.” Sejin smiles at that genuinely. Sehun has a hard time being empathetic towards their mother.

“I will. But first you have to change from your school attire.”

“Are you serious?! I waited you all this time and then you just tell me to change my clothes?!” he rages. Sejin raises his finger.

“Yes. Now go change!” he orders him around. Sehun grunts but does as he’s told, making his way into his room. He throws his backpack on his bed, leaving the pile of candy in there, and changing into a red t-shirt that has a Spiderman print on it and black jeans that are ripped from the knees. He decides to put the stockings his mother made into good use. They’re only high enough to cover his ankles, which makes them the perfect height. And his jeans and shirt are too big for him, but his parents always keep saying that he’ll grow into them… who knows, maybe he does now that he’s sixteen.

He makes his way downstairs to see that Sejin is no longer there. He goes to the present that’s in wrapped paper… Why must he torment Sehun this way?

The big brother is in the kitchen, talking to their mother. He asks what she’s doing and she says she’s blogging about the painting that she painted to Sehun. And then she reveals that she has had a lot more traffic on her blog lately, that she’s actually starting to make money off of it… 

That makes Sehun actually proud. All these years he’s just seen her laying at home, taking care of the household until she can’t anymore, and then being gone for months on end… 

Sejin notices Sehun staring at them from the living room. He smiles at him before getting up and walking into the room, going over to the wrapped paper.

“Happy 16th birthday, Sehun,” Sejin says as he hands over the package. After the little brother accepts it, they both plop down on the couch. Sehun tears away the wrapping vigorously.

And the amount of things that are in there… it’s…  _ marvelous _ . There is one book about self-defense (that is mainly illustrated, since Sehun would never have the patience to  _ read _ such books), one book about how to draw action comics (since Sehun is quite the artist himself), a whole pile of DC and Marvel comics, a poster of Spiderman and on the top, two tickets to a brand new superhero movie that has its’ premiere two weeks from now.

“You bought me tickets to  _ Iron Man 2 _ premiere?!” Sehun exhilarates and the joy from his face radiates all around the house. Sejin smiles and nods, then putting his glasses better. “How could you have ever afforded all this?”

“I’ve been working.”

“You shouldn’t be spending all your money on me!”

“They weren’t all that expensive… individually. I got a little carried away. They were selling these old comics in big bundles at the library. And then these two books and this poster were on sale in the bookstore… And, well, we went to see  _ Iron Man _ two years ago with Dad, so of course we have to see the next one as well.”

“There’s not enough for Dad…” Sehun pouts.

“He’s busy, anyway. He came there with us the last time just because he thought that you weren’t old enough.”

“He did not!” Sehun pretends to be shocked when his brother mimics his expression.

“He did! Dad doesn’t care about superheroes!”

“You know what, I’m gonna ask him when he comes home,” Sehun turns up his nose and huffs. “Dad wanted to celebrate my birthday on Monday, but because of you, I had to wait till Friday. I bet Dad came along just because you wanted. Because  _ you _ thought I wasn’t old enough.”

“Well, go ahead, see if you’re right,” Sejin says and crosses his arms on his chest. But then he opens his arms and looks at his little brother expectantly. “You’re… going to thank me for giving you the best birthday present, right?”

Sehun sighs, rolls his eyes, puts all his presents and the wrapping papers on the sofa table before diving in his brother’s arms and hugging the living daylight out of him. Sejin hugs him way tighter, to the point that Sehun almost hears his bones crack - his brother is still a lot bigger than him, since Sehun hasn’t gotten his growth spurt yet! 

“Hyung… stop… I can’t… breathe…” Sehun heaves. Sejin utters a laughter before letting his little brother go and ruffles his hair. Sehun wonders why people always have the need to ruin his hairstyle.

The front door opens and the old man grunts, shaking his umbrella and stomping his feet on the ground. He has a laptop case with him at all times. He can fit a lot of things in there… maybe it could also fit a certain 14-inch Batman figurine as well. This time he also has a plastic bag full of groceries… Sehun can see a bag of chips and chocolate in there, a bottle of soda and an ice cream cake. 

He runs to the door to meet his father. Yongsoo’s eyes practically disappear as he smiles the moment he sees his son. He opens his arms and looks inviting. Sehun opens his arms too and walks over to his father to hug him tight. His forehead touches his father’s chin and he buries himself inside his father’s coat.

“Happy birthday, Sehun,” Yongsoo says with a warm voice. “I bought you something… actually, I bought all of us something. But - you have to do the dishes and clean the table first.”

“Daaaaad…”

“Don’t you whine to me! You won’t get your present before you do your chores!” Yongsoo insists. Sehun lets go of him and sighs deeply.

“This better be good, then,” he says as he makes his way into the kitchen where Jangmi is still reading comments and replying to them. Sehun starts doing the dishes and cleaning the table when Yongsoo comes into the room and puts all the groceries into their right places.

“Did you buy milk, honey? Sehun’s drank it all again,” Jangmi asks. Sehun glares at her way.

“I did, I did.”

“And butter? The better one?”

“I did.”

“Have you paid the bills yet?”

“I have- Jangmi, you don’t have to remind me about these things. I can handle them,” Yongsoo says calmly. Sejin often riles him up but somehow his parents always calm each other down. Sehun is thankful for that. 

Jangmi doesn’t say anything to reply to her husband who keeps fussing around the kitchen. He’s taking out ingredients, making Sehun frustrated again.

“Do I really have to wait until we’ve had dinner?” he whines.

“Sehun, I had a long day at work, you could at least try and wait until we’ve all gathered together. Besides, I bought an ice cream cake, chips and chocolate for dessert. And I don’t have work tomorrow, so I can watch movies or play games with you until midnight.”

“We’re totally going to play that new Sonic game that Sejin bought. You have to try it.” Yongsoo utters a laughter when Sehun comes stalk what he’s doing.

“We’ll be playing it sooner if you help me with dinner,” he persuades. Sehun immediately takes a seat next to him.

“Okay!”

Sehun starts cutting the beans as his father boils the rice noodles. Jangmi changes place to give them some space to prepare the dinner. Sejin joins them as well to help out with the dinner. 

“So, boys, what have you been doing today?” Yongsoo tries to start a conversation. 

“I had two lectures today. Then I studied in the library with Yura.”

“When are we going to meet this Yura? Haven’t you two been dating for almost a year now?” Yongsoo asks. Sehun is slightly annoyed that he’s never met Yura either. It makes him think if there’s even a Yura and Sejin has just made it all up. 

“Are you so ashamed of us?” Sehun asks.

“It’s not about you. She’s just a bit shy. She’s told me that I’m the only person in this world who she can really be comfortable with…” Sejin says. Yongsoo looks at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You can tell her that she’s always welcome in our home,” he says when turning back to the stove and getting a frying pan. “What about you, Sehun?”

“My friends gave me a lot of chocolate.”

“Did they, now?”

“And I’ve made a new friend. His name is Kim Junmyeon.”

“Is that so? How did you two meet?” Yongsoo sounds genuinely interested. And he always sounds way more interested about Sehun’s business, like he cared more about his younger son. 

“Well, I stalked him after I saw him getting bullied. Then he approached me. I gave him my number and introduced him to my friends.”

“Oh, you wanna save him from the bullies, don’t you? Be his hero?” Sejin teases, but Sehun doesn’t take it badly.

“Of course! We already found out that the guy who bullies him is a sort of gang leader,” he says rather light-heartedly, but it makes the other two men stop all their doings and focus on Sehun.

“He is a what now?” Sejin asks. 

“A gang leader.”

“Sehun, do you… hear yourself?” Yongsoo wonders. Sehun turns to look at him weirdly.

“Of course I hear myself. What do you mean?”

“You’re not getting involved with any gangs, okay? Don’t interfere with these guys, just keep your distance. Maybe it would be better if you kept distance to this Junmyeon as well,” Yongsoo tries to reason, but Sehun is just baffled. He flails his arms in the air and stands up, almost knocking down the chair.

“He’s my friend! I can’t just leave him hanging! I have to protect him. Besides, Baekhyun, Amber, Jungkook and me already promised to take down Minseok’s gang,” Sehun says with such confidence. Yongsoo leaves the pan on the stove and walks over to his son to hold him by his shoulders. Sehun furrows his eyebrows and looks up at him with a weirded out look on his face. His father looks stern and serious.

“Don’t get involved with gangs, okay? Stay away from them. And I really mean this. If something happens to you I don’t think I can live with myself. So please. Don’t. Get. Involved.”

Sehun evaluates his answer for a moment. Fighting about this with his father isn’t going to solve anything, so he decides to go with lying. He nods his head timidly and looks down in defeat, guilt and other negative emotions starting to dwell in his chest. Yongsoo gives him a quick pat on the shoulder before going back to the stove. 

Sehun sits back down and glances at Sejin who keeps staring at him with a worried look on his face. 

“Stop staring at me,” he whines. Sejin looks angrier by this and shakes his head in disappointment.

“You should listen to Dad for once. Seriously.” Sehun rolls his eyes and keeps cutting the vegetables in silence. 

Once they are done preparing the meal, they make the table and ask Jangmi to join them. They start to eat in silence, the only noise heard is slurping. Sehun doesn’t take long to eat, he just wants to see what his father got him. But he has to wait patiently. He avoids socializing so that his father could eat quickly, but he keeps talking to the mother and the older brother, sometimes asking Sehun why he looks so annoyed. 

And once they are finally done eating, he looks at his father with puppy eyes and tilts his head to the side. Yongsoo sighs and ruffles his hair, still making Sehun wonder why everyone does that, it’s not fun.

“Can I get my present now? And ice cream cake? Please?” Sehun begs. Yongsoo still dares to raise his finger.

“Not until we’ve cleaned the table.” Sehun groans and gets up immediately, putting away the dishes. 

And once that is all done, his father gives him another bear hug and then hands over the 14-inch Batman figurine that he asked for over a month ago. Sehun exhilarates and hugs his father again, claiming that he’s going to put it on his nightstand. 

“I’m pretty sure Sejin was way more mature in your age…”

“No, father, when I turned 16, biology gave me the best present of all,” Sejin chimes in. “Brains.”

Sehun hits his brother who defends himself and the father has to pull Sehun away from him. “Okay. Time out.”

“Time-out- Dad, I’m 16, you don’t just give me time-outs.”

“Well you’re still my baby,” Yongsoo says as he takes the ice cream cake from the fridge. “Anyway. Shall we cut the cake?”

The four of them sit at the table again, to eat cake and make fun of Sehun some more. The mother keeps silent, mostly, just staring at the men of her life acting like big children. 


	5. Lunch

“That guy there is Minseok… but keep your voice down,” Junmyeon says as he nods over at the sight of Kim Minseok, the senior who is… a lot smaller than Sehun had anticipated. But, he was the second best in Baekhyun’s team, he must know some moves.

The senior looks at Junmyeon, Jungkook and Sehun’s way. The three immediately look the other way and try to conjure up a conversation about something that has nothing to do with the gang or beating up people.

“So, you’re going to the movies to see the  _ Iron Man 2  _ premiere? Are you taking your brother with you?” Junmyeon asks, or more like states.

“He bought the tickets, so I feel kind of obliged to,” Sehun says. “Besides, I went to see the previous movie with him two years back…” 

“You seem close with your father and brother,” Junmyeon points out. 

“I am.”

“That’s cute. You never talk about your mother, though.”

“Uh. She’s kinda… absent… mentally… sometimes…” Sehun explains but Junmyeon immediately raises his eyebrows and puts a hand over his own mouth.

“Sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah because I haven’t told you,” Sehun says. Jungkook is just listening to them with more or less interest. Doesn’t matter if he’s here or someplace else, Sehun probably wouldn’t notice him when Junmyeon is around. 

Just then a couple of boys walk past them. One of them is tall, dark and muscular but also looks very feminine, the other is shorter and looks lankier. He has a kittenish smile and his eyebrows look naturally pretty apologetic. 

Junmyeon leans over to whisper to the smaller boys, “Those are Huang Zitao and Kim Jongdae… they are… Minseok’s best friends these days. They operate the gang secondary.”

Sehun and Jungkook glare at them - or Sehun believes that Jungkook also glares at them. The fact that Minseok even has friends just baffles Sehun. How could anyone be friends with Kim Minseok, the scum of the whole wide world?

Okay, maybe calling Minseok the worst person of the whole world is a bit of an exaggeration, but he is the worst in Sehun's world… His small world that consists of only him, his friends and his family.

Zitao and Jongdae walk up to Minseok and they look pretty serious about something before glancing over at the eavesdroppers. Sehun fixates his eyes on his friends and tries to think of something to talk about. Maybe now is not the best time to let Minseok know about him and his plans to take him down.

"So. Shall we have lunch together?" Sehun asks, making Junmyeon smile sweetly. Jungkook sighs deeply and walks away from the two, Sehun completely ignoring this and staring at Junmyeon with admiration. Junmyeon tries to hint that his best friend has left the chat, but Sehun is oblivious.

"Alright. Just you and me?"

"Sure!" Sehun replies without thinking further, dragging Junmyeon outside. The sun is shining and it's a beautiful spring day. Everything is just perfect… The air is still a bit chilly and the trees are blossoming. There is a bench under one tree particularly where Sehun takes the elder, some girls giggling when seeing Sehun holding Junmyeon's hand.

The older one sits down on the bench and looks up at Sehun, his cheeks slightly flushed and a nervous laughter escaping his lips. Sehun smiles sweetly when sitting next to him, taking out his packed lunch. Junmyeon takes out his packed lunch as well, but it looks way fancier than the younger one's. The latter compares their lunches.

"It looks like you had a chef do this for you…"

"Yeah, well, one of our maids did. She's always very nice to me and Jongin."

"You have a maid?" Sehun asks, rolling his eyes and jaw dropping. "Wait, no, not just  _ a maid _ , but  _ maids _ ?"

"Yeah," Junmyeon chuckles awkwardly again. "We have maids. We have a big house, so… we need them to take care of it."

"I'm just. Going to ignore everything you said and pretend we're equally wealthy," Sehun says, making Junmyeon continue his nervous laughter. Then he takes a big chunk of the bread that his mother made for him. "My Mom always makes my lunch. Sometimes she makes something horrible, but I won't tell her that I hated it cause I don't want her to feel bad."

"You should tell her what your preferences are," Junmyeon says. Sehun shrugs.

"I don't know. Sometimes I'd just rather not talk to her."

"Why not? I mean I feel you, I don't like talking to my mother either, but… why?" Junmyeon asks, making Sehun sigh deeply.

"It's so awkward talking to her. I have to walk on eggshells around her."

"Why?" 

"Because she's… just… so sensitive…" Sehun sighs and looks down, taking another bite of his bread. She did make a great sandwich today, though.

"Maybe you should tell her that you appreciate her, sometimes. Of course not lie to her, but you know, tell her that you liked the sandwich she made for you today," Junmyeon says and smiles when seeing Sehun bite down on his sandwich vigorously. He just smiles at him knowingly.

"Well, okay, maybe I should do that. Maybe you should do that to your mother, too."

"Oh, no," Junmyeon immediately shakes his head when taking a bite of his own sandwich. "My mother's never home. Neither is my father. I've tried telling them that I do love and appreciate them, but… that would just be lying. You know what I mean? They're never there, and when they are, they scold me for not wanting to become a lawyer or a doctor…"

"That sucks. I'm glad my parents aren't like that. They just don't expect anything from me. And my Dad is the best," Sehun goes on about his own things, completely ignoring Junmyeon who gives him a slight smile before leaning a little closer with a napkin in his hand, a napkin that was neatly placed inside his packed lunch.

"You've got the remains of your sandwich all across your mouth," he chuckles when grazing over Sehun's mouth with the napkin, making Sehun's heartbeat go haywire, his breathing become irregular and his cheeks feeling like they were on fire. His eyes widen and he avoids looking at Junmyeon's face.

"Uh… Oh… Y-yeah… I uhm… sh-should… probably look for Jungkook…" Sehun murmurs when packing all his stuff, putting his backpack on his back and standing up in a matter of seconds.

"Oh? So suddenly… I can help looking for him."

"No, no, he doesn't… really… I mean… he's kind of… you know, possessive over me and my friendship…" Sehun says while flailing his arms around, making dumb noises and just looking at the sky. Junmyeon blinks a couple times slowly.

"I have noticed…"

"Yeah. Gotta go!" Sehun exclaims when running away, into the school building and going straight to the bathroom where he just tries to catch his breath. Why did that make him so nervous? And why did being so nervous make his stomach all tangled. He buries his face in his hands and takes a deep breath.

***

"Hey, buddy, do you want to play this new game I bought? You can play it with four people," Yongsoo asks the moment Sehun walks into the living room. Instead of replying to his father, Sehun runs up the stairs and slams the door of his room close behind him. Then he throws his backpack next to his bed, quickly changes his clothes to something casual and jumps under the covers, hugging his blanket and staring at the wall in the dark room. He breathes deeply and wonders what Junmyeon might be up to at the moment. He didn't say a word to him after the whole napkin thing.

Junmyeon's fingers. They were on his lips.

Of course there was paper between their skin, but still. He could  _ feel _ Junmyeon's fingers. They grazed over his lips and it felt so good, so weird, so nerve-wrecking.

But why? Why did Sehun feel that way? He hugs his blanket tighter when he thinks about Junmyeon's face. He has the perfectly sculpted facial features… He is so caring and loving and, in a way, reminds Sehun of his big brother. He is safe and being around him is comfortable, even if he's a little awkward… Being with him is easy.

When thinking about Junmyeon, Sehun feels tingling in his stomach and a shock goes through his whole body. He can't help the smile that rises on his lips when he thinks about Junmyeon's voice, his face, his body, everything… everything about him is so perfect. He has a lovely personality and he seems to really like being around Sehun.

And Sehun wants to be Junmyeon's hero. He wants to make Junmyeon adore him. He wants to be Junmyeon's inspiration and Sehun wants to beat up everyone who dare hurt Junmyeon.

Suddenly the door opens and his smile disappears. He closes his eyes and covers his mouth with the blanket when the father turns the lights on.

"Hey. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, Dad," Sehun replies but Yongsoo doesn't quite believe it. So he walks over to him, sits on the edge of his bed and caresses his hair a couple times. Sehun bites his lips. It does feel nice, but it would feel nicer if Junmyeon did that.

"It's not like you to go straight to bed after school. I don't think you've ever done something like that. Is something wrong?"

"No, Dad."

"...Alright, then. I'll trust you for now… But you know, if something is wrong, then you have to tell me, alright? I'll leave you to rest, now," Yongsoo states as he stands up, putting the lights off and leaving Sehun alone in his room again where he continues thinking about Junmyeon. He takes out his phone and searches Junmyeon's name on his contact list, thinking about sending him a message. He tries the name on his mouth.  _ Junmyeon _ . It feels nice to say.

_ Junmyeon _ . 


	6. Cared

\- May -

"Dad… Why? I'm not a child anymore," Sehun whines when his father walks through the fun park, looking at all the rides that both of them could ride. Unfortunately the park is  **full** of children and their parents, since it's Children's Day that parents celebrate by spoiling their younglings. Yongsoo is quite not ready to stop celebrating this day with his younger son. "I thought last year was supposed to be the last time."

"What? We're just having father-son bonding time in a fun park and that happens to be during Children's Day…" Yongsoo tries to defend himself. Sehun sighs and rolls his eyes.

"I know what your intentions are. You haven't come here with Sejin after he turned 12…" 

"That's because he  _ screamed _ at my face about not wanting to go anywhere with me ever again," Yongsoo says with a sad tone in his voice, looking at the ground. "Not even grocery shopping…"

"I'll go grocery shopping with you," Sehun says, hoping that it would take him out of this park. 

"It's nice to know that one of my sons still loves me."

"Sejin loves you too, he just doesn't like you as much as I do," Sehun says when waving his hands in the air, making his father smile at him sadly.

"Sehun… Do you think I'm, perhaps, a little too strict? Sometimes?" the father asks, furrowing his eyebrows. "That's what Sejin always says. I know you have a hard time understanding how me and your mother feel, I had trouble understanding my parents, too, but I hate the way your brother treats me… Can you tell me why Sejin always picks fights with me?"

"Some people are just different. You know what they say about old couples. That they fight about even the smallest things," Sehun says. He honestly has no idea why Sejin doesn't like their father either. Still he lives home, since getting his own apartment is way too expensive and he's definitely not having a full-time job while also full-time studying. That would be full-time no rest.

"You think old couples fight all the time about meaningless things? How many times have you seen me and your mother do so?" Yongsoo asks, seemingly unsatisfied with the reply Sehun gave him.

"Well… Just a couple times…" Sehun says, holding his hands behind his back and looking at the kids running toward him, bumping into him, laughing and then scattering. Sehun will never understand kids.

"So you think that me and Sejin fight just because we are different?" Yongsoo asks for clarification.

"Yes. You clash in everything, no matter the subject. You two  _ are  _ the old couple who's always fighting," Sehun says, making his father hum.

"I guess so."

"You even fought about what kind of butter you should buy."

"He changed his opinion just because he wants to tease me - it's not my fault. He's never had low-fat butter, he's just trying to be a little fancy for his girlfriend," Yongsoo huffs, making Sehun chuckle.

"Yeah. He's used the same butter ever since he turned 18. He keeps buying it himself because you won't."

"Aish. Is that where he uses his student money? Butter?"

"He buys groceries for himself," Sehun says. His father's eyes widen and he stops him.

"Wait. He buys his own food?" he asks, looking at Sehun straight in the eye. Sehun simply nods.

"You never ask him what he wants. Just me and Mom."

***

Sehun and his friends meet again after school in their usual meeting place. Jungkook is having a good day for some reason, he's being pretty talkative. He even talks to Junmyeon and is being nice to him. The two of them haven't exactly gotten along ever since Sehun started stalking him. And that's all Sehun ever talks about - Junmyeon. Junmyeon Junmyeon Junmyeon - it used to be just the two of them, and now there is something in between. 

Something, someone, that doesn't belong there.

"Baekhyun and Amber can just keep him still while I punch him in the face repeatedly until he falls unconscious," Sehun says while demonstrating his shadow punching. All of them shake their heads in disapproval.

"You? Taking all the credit for me and Amber's work? You sneaky little bastard," Baekhyun huffs. "I did not raise you like this."

"You didn't raise me!" Sehun says back with a hint of a playful tone in his voice. He still has his fists out so Baekhyun takes his own fists out too, reading himself to fight Sehun.

"You can't beat any of us. Maybe you should learn some new tricks, young apprentice," Baekhyun smirks when smacking Sehun right across the face, making the younger one hold his cheek in pain and grunt. "And that is what I call using my opponent in a vulnerable state."

"I wasn't ready!"

"That's why it's called a vulnerable state."

"It's called an assault!" Sehun huffs when kicking Baekhyun's knee, successfully making his knees falter. He grunts but grins up at Sehun who is baffled about what he just did. Was he actually available to take down  _ Baekhyun _ ? 

It feels like he could do anything!

"Now  _ that _ was an assault," Baekhyun says when standing up. The two of them start fighting more seriously, Junmyeon observing with worry from the side.

When they're done playing, they fall on the ground on top of each other, Baekhyun laying on Sehun and holding him tight against the floor. Sehun flails his arms around.

"I know you're serious about taking down Minseok," Junmyeon starts when putting his glasses better again, "but his gang is seriously big. I don't know how many there are, but the five of us could certainly never defeat him. I don't even have any kind of fighting skill. I use words, not my fists."

"But still you are pretty few-worded," Jungkook says, making Junmyeon clutch his backpack in shame.

"I prefer writing the words..."

"It's okay, Junmyeon," Amber says. "We don't need your fists. We can't force you into anything you don't want to do. Besides, I'm sure you have enough money to lure in someone who's more than happy to kick some ass."

"Yeah, that I do have," Junmyeon says with a smile while awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "My parents give me a pretty big allowance."

"I wish my dad gave me allowance," Amber says. "He just sometimes gives me money if I ask him… though I have to do my chores first."

"Your chores?" Junmyeon asks.

"Yeah, like washing the dishes and such," Amber explains, making Junmyeon look at the ground.

"Oh."

"Of course, Junmyeon doesn't do chores. He has maids to do them for him," Sehun says. "He says his house is big, so it's understandable."

"Yeah. It is a big house. Some would call it a mansion."

"Why are we friends, again?" Baekhyun asks, emptying his pockets that have only trash in them.

"Because we need to save him from Minseok," Sehun says seriously. Baekhyun smacks his head when standing up straight. 

"It was a joke," he explains, making Sehun just look anywhere but at him. He also gets up and takes his backpack. Baekhyun turns to Junmyeon who's still nervously massaging his neck. "Has he given you trouble lately?"

"No, he hasn't actually. Ever since I've been hanging out with you guys, they've left me alone. I guess it worked. Not being alone…" Junmyeon says to which all of them smile. Even Jungkook utters a very vague smile.

"That's good," Baekhyun says. "Anyway. We should probably head back home now that our little meeting is over. I have to study."

And with that he just leaves. Jungkook leaves without saying a word. Amber just waves at Sehun and Junmyeon as she goes, leaving the two alone. Sehun looks at Junmyeon intently. He doesn't actually want to go. The meeting was too short.

"I don't wanna go home. I have to do homework. But to be honest, I can't do math - I can't do it at all," he whines. Junmyeon turns to look at him with a heart-warming smile.

"I can help you… if you come over…" he says. Sehun's heart almost stops beating.

"And I could see your mansion? Oh, hell yeah!" he says and the two of them start walking in the same direction. It's Friday today, so Sehun dreams about staying the night. "Hold on. I have to tell hyung that I'm not coming home tonight."

"So, you're going to stay the night?" Junmyeon asks. Sehun eyes at him.

"Is that alright?"

"Of course," Junmyeon says and picks up the pace for some reason. 

"I should probably call Dad, too…"

"You can call him when we're at my place. So you won't sound so rushed…"

"Alright." Sehun quickly texts his hyung and then just follows Junmyeon. The latter seems pretty nervous. They walk in silence under the sun that shines brightly.

"I don't like sunshine," Junmyeon says out of nowhere once they've been walking for a good fifteen minutes. "It makes my head hurt."

"Oh. I don't have a weather preference…" Sehun says. He's never been to this part of the city - this is where the rich people live in their detached houses. Sehun also lives in a detached house, but it's pretty average in size. His father bought it when they moved to Seoul. His father bought the whole house just by himself. Makes Sehun realize how much his father actually works. Especially when his best friend lives in a pretty small apartment with his father, stepmother and stepsister.

But next to the mansion Kim Junmyeon lives in, Sehun feels like he's the most poor person in the whole world. It's not the biggest of the mansions, but it's modern and has beautiful design. The yard looks beautiful and there's a car there.

"That's my father's second car. Mostly it's just decorative…" Junmyeon says. Sehun's jaw drops. They have just one car and that's his father's… 

Sehun starts making noises that show his amazement. He's pretty loud about it, but Junmyeon tries to act modest. His face is getting red, even.

"You've seen enough of the outside. You should see the inside now," Junmyeon says with a cheeky smile when taking Sehun to the front door, opening it up with a code and with his key.

***

The two of them eat something before heading to Junmyeon's room where they complain about their school uniforms. Sehun didn't bring any clothes to change into so Junmyeon lends him some. Sehun is still smaller than him, but the clothes fit him more than well. Who knew Junmyeon even had college pants and normal t-shirts for leisure? And that he wears something like that every single day?

The part that Sehun doesn't want to know is how much each piece of clothing cost.

Sehun calls his father and says that he's staying at Baekhyun's place. Junmyeon raises an eyebrow at this and after the call has ended, he questions Sehun.

"Why did you say you're at Baekhyun's place?"

"Because," Sehun starts when he plops down on the floor, laying on his stomach while opening his books. Junmyeon takes a look at his desk but lets it go, joining Sehun on the floor. "Dad doesn't really like that we're friends."

"What? Why?"

"He thinks that I'm getting involved in something… It's more about Minseok and not you, you see, he thinks that Minseok will hurt me too if I spend time with you."

"There's strength in numbers. I don't think Minseok would do that unless you provoke him. Which you shouldn't do, by the way," Junmyeon says. "We should just take it slow and see when is the best time to strike. Or just wait it out."

"Are you serious? You're just going to let him hurt people?" Sehun asks, fuming. Junmyeon lowers his head and puts his glasses better.

"Sometimes it's better not to fight with your fists. Sometimes words will have greater impact - and not the words that hurt, no, but the words that make you think," Junmyeon explains. "But of course I want Minseok get beaten like the rest of us…"

"Yeah. So I'm gonna beat him up," Sehun says, opening his math book and looking at the last exercise that he got stuck in. "Help me."

"Like you helped me," Junmyeon smiles and Sehun giggles, suddenly slapping a hand over his mouth and wondering if that noise came out of him. That can't be right… He sounded like a high school girl around her crush.

Junmyeon starts explaining the equation. At first Sehun listens and it's easy… But soon his attention drifts to Junmyeon's face and he just stares at the older boy's lips move, not understanding a word he says. It's like he didn't hear his words at all. 

Junmyeon smells good.

Junmyeon looks good.

Junmyeon's personality is good.

Junmyeon is good.

Junmyeon is the best.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" the older boy asks when waving his hand across Sehun's face. Sehun blinks a few times, dropping back into reality.

"Oh. No, I don't," he says when slapping his books close and throwing them back into his backpack. 

"I… I thought I was supposed to teach you math," Junmyeon stutters out. Sehun shakes his head.

"Forget it. It's not working out," he says and leans on his arm, staring at Junmyeon whose cheeks are slightly blushing.

"Okay… Then what do you want to do?" the older boy asks with a quiet, shy voice.

"Talk. I just wanna talk."

"A… About what?" Junmyeon wonders, getting more red again. "Can we… sit on my bed or something? This position is making my neck hurt."

Sehun doesn't say anything as he stands up and plops down on Junmyeon's bed that's in the corner of the room. Junmyeon's room has a few anime posters and a lot of books. Like Sejin's… but he has his own TV and a desktop computer as well as a laptop. He has  _ everything _ . He even has a smartphone...

Junmyeon sits shyly next to Sehun. He keeps fidgeting his sleeves. His sheets and curtains are cream white and the walls are beige… 

"To be honest I… am pretty nervous. I haven't had a friend over since… since middle school… The only person who's come into this room beside me is my brother and his best friend… They've been my best friends too, kind of. But I kind of have a feeling that he doesn't always want to be with me, since he has his own friends. And all my friends are… well… online…" Junmyeon says all the while playing with his fingers. His voice is shaky and he doesn't dare look at Sehun who's staring at him.

"You don't have to feel nervous around me. Okay, actually, I am pretty nervous around you too. I… I don't know if you can see that," Sehun confesses when looking away from Junmyeon. "And I don't know why I feel that. Do you know why you're nervous around me?"

"I'm usually nervous around people… Especially with people who I'm… Well, trying to impress."

"Impress?" Sehun asks when turning back to look at Junmyeon, his cheeks flushed. "Why are you trying to impress me?"

"You're the only one who's approached me since forever."

"Well… If it helps, then… You've already impressed me…" Sehun says but immediately regrets his words. His whole head becomes red and he tries to hide it by putting his hands on his cheeks and stare at the floor. Why was that so awkward to say? It sounds like he's about to confess his love for him. 

Junmyeon laughs. "Good. That's good."

They sit in silence for a while, trying to bury the embarrassment. It's easier said than done. They quickly forget about it once they decide to kill time by playing video games on Junmyeon's Playstation. That rich bitch has everything… and apparently is very very good at a particular Spiderman game that Sehun cannot beat.

After a hardcore playing session and having some snack, they lay in Junmyeon's bed and just stare at each other, sometimes looking back at the wall. Sehun looks dreamy when he gazes at Junmyeon and the latter has become way more comfortable around Sehun. He's not so nervous anymore, though his voice may still shake from time to time.

"Why do you want to be a hero?" Junmyeon wonders.

"Because heroes… help people. They make people feel cared about."

"And why did you decide to save me?"

"Because you needed saving."

"But Sehun," Junmyeon sighs, "why do you want to save people? Why do you do that?"

"...Because I… once needed to be saved, too," Sehun says. He now looks at the wall behind Junmyeon. His eyes feel sleepy but his mind not so much. "When I was in elementary school… The boys in my class always teased me. Sometimes they even hit me…"

Sehun's voice shakes as he speaks. He takes a deep breath, afraid to face Junmyeon. Even if he knows that Junmyeon doesn't judge him.

"...My brother protected me back then. He's a nerd, but somehow him and his friends were always left alone. I wasn't really any different than the other kids… I was just… alone. I was always alone… until hyung made the bullies in my class stop." Now he looks back at Junmyeon, breathing deeply. Thinking back to how things were back then always makes him emotional. That's why he rarely talks about it. He doesn't want to remember. Junmyeon's face is filled with compassion. It's unlike the compassion his brother and father give him… He listens very intently. "The middle school and elementary school were in the same place, so hyung could always come save me. It stopped in middle school. He went to high school and I met Jungkook… I saved him from his bully by just being with him."

"That's… I don't know if it's sad or inspiring. You're so strong," Junmyeon says. His hand rises as he reaches to stroke Sehun's hair, but he quickly pulls his hand back. Sehun pouts. He wanted to feel Junmyeon's hand on his hair. Petting him… "You went through that and decided that nobody else should have to do so."

"Yeah," Sehun nods. "Hyung saved me. It felt nice. I want to make others feel like that too."

"That's good," Junmyeon smiles brightly. "That's very nice of you."

"...How long has Minseok given you trouble?"

"...Well," Junmyeon starts as he turns on his back and looks at the ceiling. Sehun stares at his face. His nose. His perfect skin. His glasses. His thick eyebrows and plump lips. Sehun swallows audibly. He's not certain if he's comfortable or uncomfortable. "We were friends from elementary school, until 8th grade… He just changed then. It's been, what, three years now? But everything's good now. You saved me."

Junmyeon turns to look at Sehun with a smile. Sehun blushes and finds it hard to keep eye contact. His eyes are closing almost automatically. He can't just fall asleep in Junmyeon's bed… or can he?

"I saved you…" he repeats. "You don't have to be alone anymore, Junmyeon."

"I guess I could say that," Junmyeon starts with a chuckle as Sehun tries to contain his smile and stay awake, "you're my hero."


	7. Black Eye

\- June -

When Sehun goes outside during recess, he sees three guys dragging one behind the dumpsters. He immediately suspects the worst, of course. That's where people usually go to smoke… 

He decides to follow them. Suddenly the three guys start beating up the one, two holding him still while one hits his stomach. The guy who's being attacked begs them to leave him alone, but to no avail. They won't stop… unless someone makes them.

Sehun jumps into the play. He runs behind the dumpster and jumps onto the guy who was punching the other guy's stomach. He holds the guy down and starts hitting his face, the other guys now trying to drag Sehun away from him. Now they keep him still while the guy Sehun was just beating gets up and starts beating Sehun. The former victim stands up to help Sehun out…

And somehow they manage to fight them off. The three guys leave the scene after deciding that this is worthless. All of them have bruises and black eyes, but everything else is fine. The victim makes deep eye contact with Sehun as they both lean on the wall, hiding behind the dumpster. It smells nasty and the ground is covered with cigarette butts.

"You saved me. I owe you," the victim says. 

"You don't owe me anything. I just wanted to help," Sehun assures but the other guy shakes his head.

"Who are you? Do we know each other and I just don't remember?"

"No, no. Like I said before, I just wanted to help. I'm Oh Sehun."

"Park Chanyeol. It's nice to know this whole place isn't rotten."

"What did those guys want from you? Are they part of Minseok's gang?" Sehun asks. Chanyeol hums and looks at the ground.

"Who isn't? They wanted my money, I said no, then they took me here. I would've left with broken bones without you here," he says. He now raises his hand and a breathtaking smile spreads across his face. Sehun accepts it and they shake hands. "I've got a face to protect, but I don't mind all the attention I'll get from girls with these bruises."

Sehun just smiles back.

"I'm glad I could help."

"If you ever need anything, Sehun-ssi, just tell me. I'll help you out."

"I'll let you know."

***

"Oh, what happened to you, Sehun?" Junmyeon asks when he sees Sehun waiting for him at the gates. He has a black eye. Junmyeon touches it lightly but immediately realizes that maybe it wasn't the smartest move. Sehun just waves his hand. 

"Nothing serious, I just fought a few guys off some other guy." Junmyeon's eyes widen. 

"You were in a fight? Are you alright?" he worries. Sehun huffs.

"This is what Baekhyun and Amber trained me for," he says. Junmyeon shakes his head. They start walking out together again. They don't actually have that much to walk together, only a few hundred meters, but they walk that part slowly and talk about their days. Some days when Sehun can't see him a lot during the day, he misses him.

"It doesn't mean you should go into fights all by yourself. You against three other guys isn't fair. You could've been seriously hurt."

"Junmyeon," Sehun huffs. "Chanyeol helped me out. He seemed cool. And he promised to help me out in case I ever needed something."

"I can only imagine what you would need help with…" Junmyeon sighs. "Please don't get into fights you can't win. Just because you won this one doesn't mean you'll win all of them."

"Of course not. I'm not dumb," Sehun says, rolls his eyes and then waves bye to the older one whose face is filled with worry. Sehun can only imagine what Baekhyun, Amber and Jungkook's faces look like when they hear what he did.

But Sehun did not think about how his father and brother would react. The moment he sets foot inside his home, his father is asking about the black eye. And Sejin is shadowing him, being slightly more few-worded.

"You got into a fight?! I did not raise you to be like this!" Yongsoo yells, sitting Sehun at the table. Sejin stands at the door to the kitchen and leans on the frame, hiding his mouth and staring at the table in thought. Sehun leans back in the chair, avoids eye contact and acts all cool.

"It's nothing, really. I wasn't alone, you know, and those guys were kinda weak."

"Do you think this is funny? You think this is cool?" Yongsoo asks, hitting his fist to the table when Sehun is avoiding eye contact. "There's nothing cool with getting into fights."

"I didn't do it because I thought it was cool," Sehun huffs and now glares at his father. "I did it because there was a person who needed my help. You wouldn't just walk away from a person who needed saving, would you?"

"Sometimes it's better not to get involved," Yongsoo lectures. Sehun shakes his head and flails his hands in the air to express his feelings.

"I had to get involved! He needed my help! I couldn't just let him get beaten up by those guys! I was just defending someone who needed to be defended!" he yells and jumps up.

"Sehun- get back here," Yongsoo says seriously when Sehun tries to pass his brother. Sejin looks up at him with worried eyes.

"Sehun, don't," he starts. "Don't get involved in these things. I know what you think. Now you think you're just defending the weak ones. Once you start doing it more and more, you will become the target. They'll make you suffer. Trust me, I've seen it happen."

Sehun shakes his head and pushes Sejin away. "I don't need your advice! I won't just stand idle and wait for more people to get hurt - I'll make sure that nobody is left alone. I'll make sure that Minseok and his gang stop."

"Not a word about Minseok's gang," Yongsoo says as he stands up, pointing his finger at Sehun who's ready to run upstairs into his room. "You won't get into that gang business. Whatever you do, don't go after that gang. I know you're just trying to do the right thing, but do it rationally. Pick up opponents that you can beat, and choose your weapon and fights wisely. You're grounded."

Sehun starts stomping his foot. "That is so unfair! I just helped someone and you're making me stay in my room for what, a month? Because I just  _ helped  _ someone?!"

He growls, rolls his eyes and runs upstairs into his room. He just cannot understand why no one lets him do the right thing. What's so bad about helping people in need? 

That's right, nothing. There is nothing that comes before helping and saving people. 

He jumps in bed and hugs himself. Someday he'll show his family that he's the greatest hero to have ever existed. He's going to stop Minseok, the villain of his story, and he will be known for it.

Or will he? What if he's a mysterious hero that nobody knows by name? He wanders the streets of Seoul at night, fighting evil, and sleeps through the days. In the morning he will hear about himself in the news… but no one knows who he is. Not his name, not the way he looks, because he is dressed in black from head to toe… 

Suddenly his phone blings. He just got a text message. His father will hate him even more for using his precious balance in order to just text with Junmyeon, the friend that his father does not approve of. It's not like Junmyeon was bad as a person… It's just that he attracts Minseok's gang and puts Sehun in danger.

But Sehun, he is not afraid of danger, oh no. He would put himself in danger a million times if that meant saving Junmyeon. 

_ Junmyeonie: Hi. Did your Dad lash out on you? _ _   
_ _ Sehun: Yeah he did _ _   
_ _ Junmyeonie: Aw. What did he say? _ _   
_ _ Sehun: That I'm grounded and shouldn't get into fights. It's so unfair! I was just helping _ _   
_ _ Junmyeonie: Your Dad is just worried about you. I'm sure he means well. _ _   
_ _ Sehun: I wouldn't be so sure about that. He straight up screamed at my face _ _   
_ __ Junmyeonie: That sounds awful. But hey. Can I call you?

Sehun decides to go for it and calls the older one before he can make the first move. Junmyeon picks up immediately. Sehun rolls on his stomach and waves his feet in the air like a high school girl talking to her boyfriend.

"Hi," the younger one starts. Somehow talking to Junmyeon always makes him feel better and makes a huge smile spread on his face.

_ "Hello," _ Junmyeon replies.  _ "I see you decided to take the initiative." _

"I just couldn't wait to talk to you," Sehun says and immediately blushes by the words he just uttered. "I mean. You always seem to have the right words." And his face becomes even darker shade of red. He hears chuckling from the other end of the line.

_ "I know how to listen. If you have something on your mind, you can tell me," _ Junmyeon says. Sehun's not sure if he feels at ease or even more tense.

"I hate my dad."

_ "He's just trying to keep you safe." _

"I know but…! He's so unfair! He grounded me for  _ helping _ someone! Isn't that what we should do? Help other people? We're always talking about how we should be helpful and friendly. Wasn't I just that?"

_ "You were. And I'm proud of you for stepping up. Your father isn't trying to be mean to you. He's trying to ensure that nothing bad happens to  _ you _. I guess it happens when you're a father. You try to keep your family safe, even if that meant leaving people hanging." _

"Yeah… I guess so…" 


	8. Crush

\- July -

It's been a while since Sehun has gone out. The summer break started and he's bored beyond belief. All he's done is sit in his room and wait for days to pass by. He thought he'd never think this way, but he wants to go back to school. At least he had people to talk to there. His father is working, his brother studies even during summer break, and his mother is in the hospital again. She's going to be staying there for a month. Sehun can't say he misses her, but some company would be nice.

But now that no one's home, his father won't be able to catch him sneaking out. So does it really matter if he's home or not? Yongsoo or Sejin will never know.

He invites Junmyeon out. The older one accepts his invitation and they decide to meet at a coffee shop. It's one where Junmyeon usually goes to whenever he's out, but he doesn't really leave the house. His world is inside his computer, on the internet. 

The coffee shop is fairly small but looks pricey. There are a few people there, enjoying their coffees. Sehun is only wearing a red t-shirt with a Spiderman print on it and blue jeans. He also got a haircut recently and now his hair won't always hide his view. It's still slightly inspired by the hot k-pop groups. If only he could look as good as them.

Junmyeon does, though. His hair always looks good, even if he didn't do much to it. His shampoo must cost like a million. And his face looks so flawless! Sehun spends hours taking care of his skin and he still gets zits. How Junmyeon does that is just pure magic.

The older boy is already waiting for Sehun at the coffee shop. He smiles widely to the boy who walks up to him, grins and sits down. Junmyeon has a button-up shirt… and some fancy looking pants… like he was going to a party or something…

Not kidding, that is Sehun's formal wear.

"I don't know what to order," Sehun confesses.

"No worries, I already paid and ordered," Junmyeon says. Sehun blinks a few times in confusion. He's used to his dad and brother buying him stuff, but someone else? That doesn't seem right. 

"You didn't have to. I brought my own money," Sehun says and shows his wallet. Junmyeon chuckles nervously, clearly disregarding the other one's argument.

"Did your Dad let you out?" he asks. Sehun smiles mischievously. "Oh, what a bad boy."

"Punish me," Sehun laughs and Junmyeon blushes. Then Sehun tilts his head. What was there to blush about? 

"...Uhm…" Thankfully the waitress comes up to them and gives them their lattes. Junmyeon thanks her and then she's off to serve the other few customers inside the shop. Sehun blows the latte gently.

"What is this?"

"Latte macchiato. It's good. Try it," Junmyeon encourages. Sehun takes a sip but immediately takes distance.

"Ouch. It's hot," he says. He just burned his tongue and pouts. Junmyeon chuckles and puts his glasses better, taking a sip of his own latte.

"It is. But it's good. And it's nice if you have a sore throat," he says. Sehun takes another sip. He feels his whole body burning. 

"But I don't have a sore throat. Besides, it's so hot out there," he whines. "Did you even go outside… or have you just stayed in air-conditioned closed off spaces?"

Junmyeon laughs and takes another sip. Sehun feels his whole face burning. "Well I've spent most of my time in air-conditioned closed off spaces, yes. But that doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy a latte."

Sehun takes another sip. His whole body is on fire.

"Okay, well, I've been home mostly, too, and we do have air-conditioning. My dad isn't doing that poorly."

"It sounds like he's doing really well, though. I googled his name and his company is making great profit," Junmyeon says, making the younger one blink a few times. He blows his latte and squints his eyes. How come his friend already knows more about his father's company than him, the company owner's son, with just a quick search online? "I admire your father, though. He's built his company from nothing, founded it from sheer passion for information technology. That's really cool."

"Are you… sure you got the… right name…?"

"He does cloud computing, doesn't he?"

"You… you remember…"

"Why wouldn't I?" Junmyeon asks and takes another sip. He gives Sehun a wide smile and reaches out to the hand Sehun has laying on the table. "I remember everything you've told me. I go through the things you've told me every now and then just to ensure that I remember."

"B-b-but y-you shouldn't. I-I don't even remember your brother's name, and he's the same age, almost in the same class," Sehun says nervously, his hands starting to sweat. Why is Junmyeon holding his hand and why is it making him feel so anxious? It's like butterflies had a rave inside his stomach. 

Junmyeon chuckles lightly. "I don't mind if you don't remember. I don't mind telling the same things over again to you. I can see that you genuinely enjoy spending time with me and that is all I need to know."

Sehun sits upright like someone just stuck a stick up his butt, puts his latte on the table and takes Junmyeon's hand in his both hands, looking at him straight in the eye. And Junmyeon's eyes are so dark, so deep, Sehun feels so small under his gaze. But his stare is also so warm, so soothing, so calming, so caring, that Sehun doesn't mind feeling small. For Junmyeon he would do anything.

"I really do enjoy spending time with you. You're like- one of my best friends at the moment, and somehow, with you, I feel so comfortable, like I could tell you everything, that sometimes I think I tell you too much and-"

And just then it hits him. Why he likes spending time with Junmyeon so much. Why his heart races when he's with Junmyeon. Why his mind is filled with thoughts of him. Why he can't sleep because of him. Why hearing his voice always makes him feel okay. Why he looks so good. Why he pulls him closer. Why he's so attractive. Why the others always tease him. Why he always blushes.

"I-I have to go," he says and stands up, almost knocking down his cup of latte. Junmyeon looks up at him but he avoids his eyes. "I'm- I just- I have to leave-"

"Sehun, wait-"

So he leaves. He runs out of the coffee shop and all the way back into his home, not noticing when tears starts rushing down his face and the wind wiping them away from his cheek. His heart is racing faster than ever, at the same time feeling like it's about to burst and like it's sinking deeper into his chest. It's beating so rapidly that he thinks his heart might just stop altogether any minute now.

He throws the door open and then close before hearing a familiar yell from his older brother. "I won't tell Dad,  _ if _ you tell me what you were doing."

Sehun doesn't reply. He rushes into his room, throwing the door close after himself and jumping in his bed, covering himself with the blanket and just letting the tears flow. He doesn't even care that he's going to smother to death, he just can't get over what he just realized.

And he realized that he has, in fact, a crush. On Junmyeon. His friend. Who is a  _ guy _ . 

None of this can be real. He has never been attracted to men… or has he? All his friends have been guys, aside from Amber. But she's almost like a guy so she doesn't count. And that, if anything, is a true sign of a flaming heterosexual. And all his favorite superheroes are men, too! That's because he wants to  _ be _ like them, not make out with them. He wants to be in a relationship with a girl. He wants to kiss girls. He wants to have a girlfriend, like Sejin has, and if Sejin has a girlfriend, then he certainly isn't a lost cause.

But that raises a question. Has he ever actually wanted to be in a relationship with a woman? He's just liked the superhero women, though he hasn't looked at them sexually or romantically either. He has never really looked at anyone and thought "hey, I want to kiss this person," no, that doesn't happen. Who thinks like that? 

A better question is, why hasn't he thought like that? He's already sixteen. Surely girls should be everything he thinks about, that seems to be the case with Baekhyun and, hell, even Jungkook. He doesn't admit it but he's always checking out girls. What does Sehun look at? What does he think when he's alone in his room at night and nobody's there to watch him? 

Well, superheroes! 

But he would  _ never _ admit that sometimes Peter Parker makes him a little too excited and that he has  _ never _ come across some talented individuals who have written and drawn some Superman x Batman fanfictions and fanarts…

Everybody does that, right? It's normal in the fandom, right? 

Sehun buries himself deeper into his Batman sheets. He hates himself so much for not realizing it earlier. And all it took was Junmyeon holding his hand and telling him that he seems like he's genuinely enjoying his company. All it took was Junmyeon being honest about himself. And Junmyeon, he never talks about girls, never checks them out. Maybe that's why being around him is so different than his other friends… 

He almost smothers himself to death when his brother comes into the room and tries to open the package that is Sehun in his sheets. The teen tries to hide himself in any way possible, but his hyung knows the way. When Sejin has uncovered him, Sehun lays on his side and covers his face, trying to seem like he wasn't crying. 

"What's wrong? What happened? Did someone do something to you? I swear to god if anyone hurt you I'm going to molest them," Sejin says as he tries taking Sehun into a hug but the younger brother is repulsive. He doesn't want anyone touching him. "I won't leave before you tell me what's going on."

Sehun really doesn't want to tell him. He's pretty sure he  _ can't _ tell him. What if Sejin hates him after he tells him? And he's too uncertain about things… at the same time they're so clear but also they're not. He's not gay… is he? He's not checking out men… He just likes superhero… men. Just Spiderman. And Batman. And Superman. We cannot deny Wolverine either, though. Nor Iron Man… 

Sehun slowly sits up and lets his brother wrap his arms around him. He shows his red face to his hyung but doesn't dare look at him in the eyes. Sejin's embrace is so warm and so loving. It's always been. It's like his father's, but somehow lighter. Like his mother's… if he ever hugged her.

"What's wrong," Sejin says rather than asks, demanding for answers. Sehun can't stop wondering if Sejin won't hug him again after he learns what kind of sexual deviant his little brother is.

"Uhm… I just had a fight… with Baekhyun…" Sehun lies. It's better to just lie. 

"That's odd. You fight with Baekhyun all the time and not once have I seen you cry. I feel like there's something you're not telling me," Sejin says and hugs Sehun tighter. "Tell me or I won't stop bugging you."

Sehun takes a moment to catch his breath. Water is running from his nose. 

"I-I-I," Sehun stutters, "can't say it."

"Why not? There's nothing you could tell me that would make me love you any less." Sometimes Sejin is a little too lovey dovey mushy with Sehun that it even bothers him.

"Nothing?" Sehun sniffles.

"Nothing."

"Wh-wh-what if I had a c-c-crush on my f-f-friend?" he asks. Sejin thinks for a moment.

"I, uh… Amber? Do you have other girl friends?"

"...No."

"...Do you have a crush on Amber?"

Sehun shakes his head. His heart is beating so rapidly.

"Oh.  _ Oh _ ," Sejin sighs but hugs Sehun tighter, swinging him from side to side. Sehun cries against his shoulder. "Did you just figure it out?"

"...You're not mad at me?"

"Of course not! Why would I be?" Sejin asks as he breaks the hug and looks at his brother in the eye. Sehun dares raise his head and see his brother as well. He could hear the freaking out in Sejin's voice. He's just acting like he's okay with it.

"...You sound tense…" 

"No, no, no, I'm not tense! I mean, I should've noticed when your… walls are… literally… covered with men…" Sejin says, keeping pauses as he looks at the walls covered with posters. And well, yes, there's only a couple of girls there, but Sejin thought it was because there are less female superheroes. 

Sehun hides his face again and sobs audibly. 

"D-d-don't tell D-d-dad…"

"Of… of course I won't. Why would I want to tell him?" Sejin wonders. "He's… not gonna like it… But hey! He loves you. He has to accept you sooner or later. I will support you and you know you can always talk to me, right?"

Sejin pinches Sehun's cheeks, making the younger one chuckle sadly. 

"...Thanks…" 

"It's been a while since you've cried like that," Sejin says as he leans against the wall. Sehun leans against his shoulder and he wraps his arms around the younger brother, soothing his hair. Sehun wraps his arms around him too, raising his feet near his chest. "But no worries. Everything's just alright…"


	9. Hurts This Bad

\- August - 

Sehun has not talked to Junmyeon after his realization. He's had trouble looking at his posters or talk about his superhero idols. He's had trouble even looking at people.

But the summer break has come to an end and he has to go back to school, no matter how afraid he is. For the rest of the summer break he just mainly watched some movies that had nothing to do with superheroes with his brother and sometimes with his father since their mother was at the hospital. Yongsoo tried to talk to Sehun, tell him how proud he is of him, but Sehun had trouble comprehending the words. He didn't want to talk to his father, so Sejin simply explained that Sehun is going through something right now. They wouldn't tell Yongsoo what, and now the father has been thinking about it ever since. Sejin and Yongsoo even fought, again, should Sehun tell him or not. 

Sehun is not planning on telling his father. He has no reason to know. Even Sejin doesn't know that he likes Junmyeon, he only knows that he likes a boy.

Seeing Junmyeon again today is going to be scary. Sehun's stomach is in knots and he takes deep breaths as he walks through the city in his school uniform. It's so hot he's almost certain that he has sweat stains on his pits.

And when taking a step inside the gates, he's met with Jungkook. The latter looks at him with such a bored look. It makes Sehun feel so guilty.

"Hi, Jungkook. I'm sorry I haven't caught up with you. I was grounded for the whole holiday…" he says. Jungkook simply rolls his eyes and turns. But he has something to say.

"I called you yesterday. I wanted you to pick me up," he says when glancing at Sehun. Sehun immediately runs to him and hugs his back tight, but Jungkook does not budge and his face does not move. Sehun is on the edge of falling apart. "You didn't answer."

"I'm so so so sorry Jungkook, my phone battery was dead and and and-" 

"Hmm."

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." Sehun hugs him tighter.

"I saw you running out in the streets one day, you know. You were hiding your face. I was just about to come over then. But you seemed busy."

Sehun's heart just drops. He's been so focused on his own worries and Junmyeon that he's completely forgotten about giving attention to his  _ best friend _ . He calls this person his  _ best friend _ and he doesn't even talk to him. Of course they called each other and texted and Jungkook even stayed at his place for a couple nights (Yongsoo would never say no to Jungkook) and still he only gave him a portion of his attention.

Who got the rest? Junmyeon, of course. Junmyeon was swimming in his mind all summer break. His great looks and his rich taste. Everything reminded him of Junmyeon. And everything reminded him that he was definitely having a crush on a boy. 

"I'm so so sorry-"

"You don't have to be. You have your own life. Your mind seems pretty occupied. Maybe I'll try again next time."

"No, Jungkook, I was just… I had something… on my mind and…" Sehun can't hold in his tears and he starts sobbing out loud. He was keeping it together so good, but a badly constructed bridge will collapse. Jungkook is seemingly uncomfortable as Sehun grabs his shirt and keeps sobbing against his back. Jungkook starts walking to hide them behind a tree. There he can turn to look at Sehun, his face void of emotion.

"It seems to be something pretty important."

"Not as important as you should be," Sehun whimpers as he wipes his tears.

"Why are you so emotional?" Jungkook asks with a rather emotionless voice and face.

"Why are you not?"

"Because there's nothing to cry about in this situation."

"Your father's a monster and you think there's nothing to cry about?" Sehun blurts out, regretting his words immediately. Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly.

"Yeah. There's nothing to cry about it. I'm used to it."

"Jungkook, there's- there's something else I need to tell you. Like something… that's… really affecting my life in a major way."

"You're not attracted to girls?" Jungkook asks with half-lidded eyes. Sehun blinks a few times. That felt like a punch in the face. He knows? 

"H-how do you know?"

"Because you're a teenage boy who's not checking out girls and your walls are literally covered with posters of men in skin tight suits?"

Sehun rubs his face. He feels so ashamed that he just wants to keep crying. Which he does, for a while, until Jungkook walks up to him and dries his tears roughly with his sleeves. Sehun sniffles and looks at him. They've always been almost the same height, but now Sehun is starting to grow past him. Sehun is starting to grow past everyone, actually. Except for his brother and father, of course, but his father is almost 190 centimeters and Sejin is 181 centimeters.

"You're not… mad at me?" Sehun asks. Jungkook blinks a few times in a bored manner.

"Only if you offend or abandon me," he says and that is the most he has said about his feelings in a long, long while. Sehun keeps sniffling but utters a little smile.

"I won't. Ever."

"Good," Jungkook says nonchalantly again before grabbing Sehun's hand and starting to drag him to the school building. Sehun quickly dries his cheeks. He's feeling so nervous that his limbs might just dislocate. He has no idea how that would be possible but somehow it just feels like that's what they could do at any given moment.

***

When Sehun and his friends are about to go to their usual meeting place after school, a group of guys approaches them. Five of them, like there are five of the opposers. Sehun is on the side of the group, furthest place possible from Junmyeon who keeps glancing at him in worry.

"Which one of you brats is Oh Sehun?" one of the guys asks.

"Me," Sehun says without thinking too much of it.

"Our leader wants us to give you five a lesson. But we'll give it a fair go. Friday, after school. Meet us at the parking lot and don't be late. We'll be expecting all five of you there."

"Will Minseok be there?" Sehun asks. The guy shakes his head. They don't look so tough… Sehun and his friends should be able to take them down. 

"No. Minseok takes care of bad business personally only if he deems them worthy of his attention. Which you aren't."

"Why do you even follow him? You don't have to do any of this. It sounds like some sick worshipping," Baekhyun blurts out. The guy grits his teeth and clenches his fist.

"You would understand if Minseok did the same for you what he did for us. He has helped all of us," he says, making another guy from the group grab his arm and stop him from talking. 

"Sure, like what has he done?" Sehun asks. The guy now audibly grits his teeth.

"You wouldn't understand. It's nothing any of you could understand," the guy says, glares at Sehun and the five of them just leave. Baekhyun starts walking out the gates with all his friends behind him. Sehun is clinging onto Jungkook.

They walk in silence for a little while. Sehun is holding Jungkook's arm and walking beside him, Junmyeon looking over his shoulder every once in a while to see the two. Jungkook glares at him for some reason. Baekhyun and Amber keep the front. Usually they're having a lively conversation together. Baekhyun and Amber could talk about anything together for hours on end.

Sehun keeps staring at the pavement, his confidence crumbling. He wants to believe he could take them down, but for some reason he keeps fearing something. His whole body is tense from fear… but fear of what? He's safe now and fighting has never scared him. 

Maybe it's the fact that Junmyeon is watching him - no, the fact that Junmyeon is near him. His stomach is in knots again.

They reach their meeting place. The sun is shining through the holes in the ceiling and dust flows in the air. They should definitely clean this place sometime and maybe bring in an abandoned couch.

"So… what are we gonna do?" Baekhyun asks, turning to his friends. Jungkook keeps glaring at Junmyeon. Then he takes Sehun's hand possessively in his. Junmyeon knits his eyebrows together and looks away in defeat.

"We're going to fight," Sehun says without thinking further. "They challenged us. We accept the challenge."

"Does your small mind even realize that it could be an ambush? They tell us that it's five against five, but it could be, I don't know, twenty of them. And we, Oh Sehun, cannot beat twenty guys."

"Or girls," Amber chimes in.

"Or girls," Baekhyun states, now looking at Junmyeon. "And this guy wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Hey, I said I fight with words, not fists," Junmyeon reminds.

"They're not going to sit down with us and have a debate," Baekhyun grunts. Junmyeon looks down in embarrassment now, his cheeks flushed. Baekhyun is serious for once. He looks up at the sky and tries to think of something.

"I said that we're going to accept the challenge. If they give us twenty guys, then so be it," Sehun says.

"You don't understand. They could kill us," Baekhyun says. "Besides, I wouldn't like to stay at the hospital for two months."

"That's not going to happen," Sehun says. "You guys know martial arts and I know, well, something that you've taught me."

"Something isn't everything and only everything is good enough!" Baekhyun yells at Sehun's face. The latter knits his eyebrows together and is ready to smack Baekhyun, but Jungkook keeps him still.

"Calm down, Baekhyun," Amber says when taking her best friend's hand in hers. Baekhyun sighs and shakes his head, looking down. "What won't kill us will only make us stronger. Besides, somebody has to make sure that Minseok stops tormenting people. If we see that they're not holding their end of the deal, we'll just make a run for it."

"They told us to meet them at the parking lot. It's an open area with lots of space and you can clearly see everyone within 400-meter radius. I think it's safe," Jungkook speaks up for the first time. Baekhyun sighs deeply.

"Well… I guess…" 

"We're gonna show them who's the boss," Sehun says. 

They start practicing. Even Junmyeon, who knows little to nothing about martial arts. Baekhyun shows him how to take advantage of the opponent's physicality and Sehun and Jungkook practice together. Amber and Baekhyun take turns in helping Junmyeon who is very exhausted. He's not a fighter, but he has to be able to defend himself in the upcoming battle.

They practice for hours before coming to the conclusion that they have to meet here every day for this week.

Jungkook waits for Sehun to finish gathering his stuff and they start walking out together with the rest of them coming behind them. Now Jungkook is holding Sehun's arm very possessively again, making the 2nd graders behind them wonder.

"I'll walk you home," Jungkook says to Sehun who feels very safe with his bodyguard. He can take care of himself, though.

"Sehun," Junmyeon starts as he runs up to them. "We need to talk."

"I don't think so," Jungkook says, glaring at the older one. "He doesn't need to talk to you."

"Jungkook, I can take care of myself," Sehun says as he stops. Jungkook looks defeated but also… very emotionless. For a moment there Sehun could see something on his face, but it disappeared as quickly. "You don't have to babysit me like that."

"Whatever," Jungkook says, rolls his eyes and keeps walking. He turns to the road that takes to his home. Or, the house that he calls home out of habit.

Junmyeon and Sehun start walking side by side to Sehun's home. 

"He's jealous," Junmyeon states.

"...Jealous of what?"

"Of you."

"Jungkook is not jealous of me! Why would he?"

"He doesn't like it that we're together."

"...Really? I… didn't even realize that…" Sehun says, his whole body shaking from nervousness. He can't stop thinking about what he could tell Junmyeon, tell him that he likes him, but what if Junmyeon is disgusted? What if he would rather get beaten by Minseok than be friends with a guy who has a crush on him? 

"You've been best friends for a long while. It's no wonder. Baekhyun and Amber were never threats to him because those two have been best friends longer. They're not challenging his position."

"You're not challenging his position," Sehun huffs. His heart is about to jump out of his chest.

"Sehun, we need to talk about what happened… at the coffee shop. Why did you run off? Why haven't you talked to me?" Junmyeon asks with a voice dripping honey. Sehun's body shivers. How could he ever tell Junmyeon honestly? Will he have to lie for the rest of his life?

"I just… I'm just going through something right now."

"You don't have to tell me about what it is, but… you know I'm always here for you, and whatever you have in mind, I'll listen to you. For the past two weeks I've been missing you a lot. I want to talk to you. Please, don't… don't push me away."

Sehun stops for a moment and just looks at the pavement. He can feel tears starting to form in his eyes again but he swallows them. He has to. But he can't stop talking to Junmyeon. Being beside him is so exciting. But it's so nice, too. He just wants to be close to Junmyeon. 

So he wraps his arms around Junmyeon's neck and hugs him tightly. The older one is already just slightly shorter than him... He could feel Junmyeon's heart racing as fast as his and arms wrap around him as tightly. He just doesn't want to let go. Now that he's there and he had the courage to actually touch him, he's not sure if he'll ever have that kind of courage again. He closes his eyes and pretends that this moment could last forever. 

Junmyeon's breath is hot. His body is hot. They're in a small alley where people can't see them, so the place is safe for a long, nice hug as well, and the weather is hot too. Still, in the evening.

"You told me last time that you're so comfortable around me that you could tell me anything. What changed?" Junmyeon asks. Sehun swallows dryly.

"I just freaked out."

"About what?"

"About… y-you know… Dad finding out that I was outside…"

"I know you're lying. But it's okay. I know you have a good reason to do so," Junmyeon says as he pulls out from the hug, but as he does so, their faces stay only inches away from each other. Junmyeon keeps staring at Sehun's lips and the younger one keeps his eyes tightly glued to Junmyeon's eyes. His heart beats so rapidly… this is exactly like from some kind of romance novel or movie.

Sehun shakes his head and pulls away, turning to the street where he lives.

"I-I should go. I'll… text you…" he says and starts walking away. He doesn't hear Junmyeon anymore but as he turns his head to see behind himself, he notices the older one still staring at him. Sehun's breath hitches in his throat.

As soon as he gets inside the house, he locks the door and leans against it with a deep sigh escaping his lips. What even was that? Junmyeon could have just kissed him then and there. He's not sure if it was nice or terrifying. 

Sejin walks past the entrance and squints his eyes.

"There you are. You had so much trouble going to school yet you didn't come back before evening. What took you so long?"

Sehun doesn't say anything, just runs the stairs up to his room, slamming the door behind himself. He is just about to have a heart attack and he can't control the tears again as they escape his eyes the moment he gets some alone time. Usually he's good at controlling his emotions. Why is it that now he's crying all the time? Why is it that liking Junmyeon hurts this bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I was supposed to update last Sunday but somehow I was too occupied with starting uni. And now I've started my studies. I'll try my best to have evenings and weekends all to myself so I can continue writing. :> I'll be updating on Sunday again!


	10. Spoon

Sehun, Jungkook, Junmyeon, Baekhyun and Amber come closer to the parking lot. They see five guys out there, but they are different from the ones before. The last guys were all skinny and lanky… but these guys are absolute units. 

"I knew we shouldn't have come here," Baekhyun huffs. 

"We're gonna be fine," Amber assures. "These guys look like they're all mass, but no brain."

"Don't rely so heavily on your stereotypes," Baekhyun says. "I wouldn't."

"I won't… it's just that, you know, these guys are on our class and they aren't exactly bright…"

"Wait… they are?"

"Maybe if you didn't sleep all day long, you would notice people around you," Amber says, rolls her eyes and crosses her arms on her chest. Sehun isn't scared one bit. Except because of Junmyeon. What if something happens to Junmyeon? He would never forgive himself.

"These guys have been telling me to give Minseok my money…" Junmyeon says.

"Why don't we just bribe them?" Baekhyun suggests. "With your money, of course."

"There's no amount that would satisfy Minseok. He will keep coming for more and beat us anyway," Junmyeon says. Then suddenly it starts raining. "Great."

They walk up to the three guys who are waiting for them arms crossed. They look tough, but Sehun is not afraid. Everybody else is.

"Which one of you punks is Oh Sehun?" 

"That would be me."

"Our boss has given us orders to beat the shit out of you," the tough guy says. Sehun shrugs.

"You can try," he says and takes his position. The rest of his crew takes their position as well, ready to fight. The five guys storm towards them.

And after that it's just black. Sehun keeps hitting the guy in front of him and seems to be winning, for some reason. So do Baekhyun, Amber and Jungkook… But Junmyeon keeps dodging the guy's fists and even manages to squirm out of his hands whenever the other guy grabs him. 

Sehun gets a bad punch in his face and falls on the ground. The other guy starts kicking him, making him curl into a small ball and hide his face. He's fallen… He beat up three guys with the help of Chanyeol, but he's suddenly about to lose to this one guy… Just then he remembers Chanyeol and regrets not inviting him along. He should have been their backup in case something went wrong. And, well, something did go wrong.

Junmyeon jumps onto the guy who's attacking Sehun. He jumps on the guy's back and starts choking him, successfully making the other guy grunt. But soon he throws Junmyeon on the ground and all the air escapes his lungs.

Sehun sees this, so he grabs the other guy's leg before he's able to hurt Junmyeon. And in no time Sehun is laying in a puddle with two guys kicking him, one of them successfully kicking his face and bruising his nose. 

Until nobody is on him anymore. Amber and Baekhyun take care of the guys and Jungkook takes care of the one still bothering him. And so it settles, with Amber and Baekhyun taking down two guys, Jungkook one and Sehun and Junmyeon none.

Sehun holds his stomach as he gets up on his knees, crawling to Junmyeon who's catching his breath. 

"And stay down!" Baekhyun yells when he kicks Minseok's guys on the ground.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Amber says when helping Junmyeon up. Jungkook helps Sehun stand up. 

They walk to the gates of their school and scatter from there. Junmyeon promises to take care of Sehun now. Sehun's nose is bleeding and he's having trouble walking.

"You might have to go to the doctor," Junmyeon says. Sehun shakes his head.

"No doctors. I'm not that hurt. It's just a scratch."

"If something worse comes up then I don't care what you have to say. I'm taking you to the doctor."

Sehun sighs and just lets Junmyeon take him to his home. His school uniform is now all wet and he smells like a wet dog. Not that Sehun was familiar with the scent. He knows his father is going to be furious if he sees him like this, so staying the night at Junmyeon's place is the best thing he could do.

When they walk up the stairs to the front door, it's opened by his little brother. Jongin looks at both of them from head to toe while Junmyeon smiles faintly.

"He's hurt."

Jongin helps Sehun inside. The two of them carry him to Junmyeon's room despite the younger one whining many times that he can walk by himself, he's not that hurt. Junmyeon sits him down on his desk chair and starts cleaning his bruises, finding out soon enough that Sehun wasn't as badly hit as it seems, but also harder than what Sehun lets on. 

Then Junmyeon just offers Sehun some of his clothes and Jongin judges. He smiles mischievously to his big brother who blushes. Sehun has no idea what's going on, only changes his clothes in Junmyeon's  **own** bathroom. How rich do you have to be to have your own bathroom? 

When he changes his clothes he hears the guys talking to each other. He listens intently.

_ "Hyung, are you going to tell him?" _

_ "Tell him what? There's nothing to say." _

_ "Hyung… You know what I'm talking about. Besides, the way you two look at each other… You don't need eyes to feel that you two like each other." _

Sehun's heart just stops beating. Like each other? In what way and in what world is it  _ obvious _ ? And what does he mean by  _ liking _ ? Like… like  _ like _ ? 

He would like to hear more but at the same time he doesn't. If Junmyeon is like him then he should tell him, right? The possibility of Junmyeon also being… like him… is exhilarating. But also so scary. But also… if he's not alone… 

But what if he's understood everything wrong and Junmyeon isn't like him and then he ruins their friendship by telling him that he likes guys? It's too soon… or is it? He's dying to tell someone, especially the one he likes.

_ "Please just shut up." _

_ "Oh, you can't hide it forever. I ship it." _

Ship it? What does that even mean? 

_ "I mean, he can hear us." _

_ "Oh." _

Sehun feels really awkward now. He just puts on Junmyeon's clothes, steps out the bathroom and looks at the two alternatively. The brothers eye him from head to toes before glancing at each other.

"Leave," Junmyeon tells his little brother. Jongin flashes a smile.

"Alright. It was nice seeing you, Sehun." 

"You too?" And with that Jongin just leaves. "You two do not look alike."

"I know. He looks like Mom."

Sehun lays down on Junmyeon's bed, grabbing the sheets. They smell like Junmyeon. Junmyeon smells good.

"Would you like to eat?" he asks. Sehun immediately stands up.

They grab something to eat and come back upstairs, Sehun plopping back down on Junmyeon's bed and grabbing his sheets again. Junmyeon lays down next to him and just stares at him. When they were eating in the kitchen, they were just silent and didn't even share a look. Now they don't do anything else than stare into each other's eyes. 

"Did you hear what we said? When you changed into my clothes?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… Well…" Junmyeon blushes. "I guess I could tell you. But I don't want you to think any differently of me after I tell this to you. Okay?"

Sehun nods. He feels his stomach twisting again.

"Alright… When I was a kid, I had a crush on someone in my class. And it was… wrong. I wasn't supposed to have a crush on that person. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was different, and I knew no one would ever accept me. Until I realized that I was wrong, not my feelings. I told Jongin who my crush was. And after that… everything seemed clear. I understood that I'm not disgusting, alone and wrong. It took me a while to accept it, but with some great people I met online, I've come to embrace my… difference," Junmyeon explains. Sehun blinks a few times. 

"...Who did you have a crush on?"

"I think you can understand what I mean, Sehun," Junmyeon says. Sehun doesn't dare look at him and he blushes bright red. So does Junmyeon. He seemed to have so much confidence just now but then it crumbles. His ears are so red.

"...A… b-boy…?" Sehun asks and Junmyeon nods. 

And just like that a rock falls from Sehun's heart. He's not alone… and he also has a chance with his crush. But he's never liked anyone this way. How could he ever tell Junmyeon? 

But it doesn't matter. Only the fact that he's not the only one in his friend group who's different matters.

"Junmyeon, I…" he starts, but his voice shakes. "I'm… like that… too…"

Junmyeon smiles widely, chuckling slightly to himself. "It does not surprise me."

"...Is it because of the superheroes…?"

"Yes. It's because of the superheroes," he laughs. It seems that Junmyeon cannot stop smiling and his face cannot get any more red.

"What about your online friends?" Sehun wonders. Junmyeon keeps giggling slightly. It's pretty contagious.

"They're mostly just like… well, us. But more like me cause they like to cosplay too," Junmyeon says.

"You like cosplaying… and anime…"

"Yeah… Hence, the posters."

Why the Hentai 69 poster, Sehun does not know. He has no idea what it even means. He doesn't know what hentai is, but 69 is something he's heard of… even though he doesn't know exactly what it means.

They stop giggling and just stare at each other. Sehun feels like his heart is going to jump out of his chest yet again, but now it feels… filled. It feels like his whole body is filled with something warm and nice, he's filled with ease.

"Can we… cuddle?" Sehun asks, not even realizing that the words came out of his lips. Junmyeon smiles widely and leans closer to say, "Yes."

Sehun turns around. Junmyeon presses himself against his back and wraps his arm around him. They both lay their head on Junmyeon's pillow. Sehun plays with Junmyeon's hand that is resting on his chest while the older one's hot breath lands on his neck. It sends shivers down his spine and it feels like an electric shock. It's so warm. It's so exciting.

The younger one winces once when Junmyeon's nose and lips graze over his neck and blood rushes up to his head. He can feel the one behind him breathing in his scent. His lips are soft. His nose is cold. His breath is hot.

When Sehun pushes his bottom nearer to Junmyeon's crotch, he feels something against his butt. And decides to back off immediately and awkwardly. This has once happened with Sejin and Sehun did not enjoy it. It's different with Junmyeon, though. It does not fill his whole being with disgust, but simply makes him want to turn around and kiss the older one intimately.

And he has  **never** dreamed of kissing anyone. 

If only he could now feel Junmyeon's lips against his… and he could grab Junmyeon's hair and pull him closer, Junmyeon on top of him.

Sehun interlaces their fingers.

"Sehun?" Junmyeon calls for his attention. The younger one hums. "You're really different from other guys."

"How so?"

"You're so sensitive. In a good way. You're so empathetic and righteous and… inspiring, in a way. You just want to make things right… while the others just close their eyes to the injustice. I stand with what you believe in. I stand with making the world a better place, starting with our high school…" Sehun does not understand why Junmyeon sounds so sexy when he speaks with such a low voice. 

"...That really means a lot to me."

"...You're special, you know."

"...You're… specialer…" Sehun says and immediately regrets his poor choice of words that make Junmyeon chuckle. 

"You're so cute," Junmyeon says when hugging the living daylight out of Sehun and the younger one turns his face to the pillow because he's soon going to cry from the amount of feels. He's not going to be able to sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter, like I promised!  
> If you're feeling like seho, you should definitely check out my new one-shot Black Halo.


	11. Accept Me

"You got into a fight?! Again?!" Yongsoo yells at Sehun who's trying to block him. He's still in so much feels. This morning he woke up with Junmyeon's morning wood against his butt and that was super awkward, but it still gives him feels that makes it hard for him to stay put. He climbs the stairs up to his room and his father just walks behind him. "That's it, I'm going to change the password to the computer and take all your comics."

Yongsoo starts gathering the comics in Sehun's room as the teen sits on his bed, wanting some privacy in order to change out of his dirty school uniform that still smells like a wet dog. He keeps glaring at his father who's making sure he has checked every corner.

"Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just leave me alone? I didn't initiate anything, me and my friends were attacked."

"Well maybe you shouldn't be getting into this gang business. And stay away from that Junmyeon kid," Yongsoo grunts when placing all the comics next to the door. Then he just stands before his son before the bed. Sehun looks up at him with an angry look on his face and his father mirrors the expression. "Where were you last night?"

"At a friend's place."

"Hmm. You never stay at Amber or Baekhyun's place."

"It was neither of them."

"You've never even set your foot in Jungkook's home." Yongsoo crouches when Sehun looks down at the floor. He tries to find his son's face but Sehun keeps looking anywhere else. "You were at Junmyeon's place."

"You don't think I have other friends?"

"No. I don't. Sehun I know you don't have much friends. Your brother, me or your mother don't have a lot of friends either. That means that we hold onto our friends longer. Sometimes we just… have to let them go."

"I'm not letting Junmyeon go. He needs me. I saved him."

"Sehun," Yongsoo starts as he kneels in front of his son, now taking his hand in his but Sehun slaps it away. He doesn't want his father to hold the hand that just last night was holding Junmyeon's. "We need to talk about this hero… thing. It's controlling your life. You aren't doing good at school. I wouldn't mind that if you at least tried."

"You don't think I try?!" Sehun lashes out.

"Yeah. I don't think you try. Your mind is occupied with these heroes and if you just spent at least a fourth of the time you spend on superheroes for schoolwork, you would be a grade A student."

"Dad, I… I just can't. I can't."

"Why not? Surely there's a reason why you can't concentrate. And I think it has something to do with these heroes and Junmyeon who happens to be the perfect damsel in distress."

Sehun becomes silent. He just stares at the floor when his father tries to get his attention.

"I knew it. Of course you wouldn't stop hanging out with him… I'll have to keep an eye on you from now on. I think I've let you too lose lately," Yongsoo says when sitting next to Sehun. The son keeps his fists between his knees and feels this need to tell his father. He needs to tell Yongsoo about the way he feels about Junmyeon. Of course he wouldn't say that it's Junmyeon he has a crush on, but he needs to know. Sehun wants to tell him.

And just as Sehun thinks about how to tell him, Yongsoo asks, "Is there something on your mind? Sejin has told me that there's been something troubling you lately. What is it?"

Those words make Sehun cover his face and cry. He hides his face in his palms and cries into his hands. Yongsoo comes closer to hug him, but Sehun does not accept the hug. In other circumstances he would accept it. Now he can't.

Yongsoo turns to Sehun and starts pulling strands of hair behind his ear. In other circumstances his touch would feel calming. Other times his words would feel comforting. Those are times when he fears something other than his own father's judgement. Sejin was nice, but Yongsoo isn't Sejin. He's never explicitly told what he thinks about people like him. 

"Sehun, tell me what's wrong. Why are you crying?" Yongsoo asks when trying to force Sehun into his arms but the son keeps taking his distance. It makes Yongsoo seemingly upset. "Sehun. Why are you trying to get away from me? Let's talk about it. What happened? It kills me not to know what's going on in your life. It's been a while since you came to hug me when I got home. You haven't talked about how your day has been. I miss you even though you're right next to me."

Sehun can't utter a word. He takes one of his notebooks where he keeps doodling whatever he feels like. It's  _ the notebook _ that he might call his diary at times, just a series of doodles and small paragraphs that contain complaints about life and narrations of his hero stories. He opens the latest of his entries and looks at the text he has written. It has one simple line on the entire page and no drawings surrounding it.

And the line is "I like a boy."

He looks at it and sniffles, contemplating showing it to his father. He doesn't dare to look at Yongsoo in the eyes when he tilts the notebook so that his father can read the hangul on the page.

And just like that, he's gone. The door of Sehun's room is banged shut, the comics still waiting at the door. Sehun puts his notebook on the bed and retrieves to the corner of his bed to hug himself. Maybe he shouldn't have told his father.

The front door opens. Sehun can hear Sejin ask their father where he's going, but there is no reply. Only the front door being slammed shut. Soon Sehun can hear the engine of the car starting and the father leaving the place as fast as possible. 

The son hugs himself on the bed and leans his head against his knees. Last night went so well with Junmyeon that he let the false hope of his father's acceptance take over his mind. Of course he wouldn't accept it. He probably feels disgusted and betrayed and most of all, thinking about how he could have been so blind.

Sehun holds his head with both his hands and sobs out loud. It would've hurt less if Yongsoo had just screamed at his face. What if he comes back even more mad? Or what if he comes back completely disregarding what he just read from Sehun's diary? Or what if he comes back with a female prostitute, to force Sehun to man up?

Okay, the last one's a bit of a stretch. He knows his father would not do something like that, but his mind is going places. He's so scared and just wants his father to love and accept him. Sejin does, so why can't him?

Maybe he'll come around later.

At least so Sehun hopes.

***

Jungkook is sick, so Sehun has to go to classes alone. He also has to come from classes all by himself. And today, when coming from the class, he sees a boy taking Junmyeon to the restrooms. The worst case scenario immediately comes to Sehun's mind, so he follows. Junmyeon looks worried.

He follows the two boys to the restroom.

"You know what Minseok is expecting from you," the boy says.

"He can have my money. I don't care," Junmyeon says as he gives the boy some cash. "Just leave me and my friends alone."

The boy accepts the money and walks away, noticing Sehun at the door of the restroom. They glare at each other but leave it at that. Sehun immediately goes to Junmyeon who smiles at him sweetly.

"Are you alright?" Sehun asks, checking Junmyeon's body and making the older one chuckle. When Sehun realizes what he's doing, he blushes and stands idle. 

"I'm okay, Sehuna. He did not want any trouble… just my money," Junmyeon says and ruffles Sehun's hair. He's becoming so tall. Sehun blushes even deeper shade of red.

"But still… you shouldn't just hand out your money like that..."

"Are  _ you _ okay? You haven't really talked to me after our sleepover."

"Mm… Maybe I don't want to talk about it in the restroom," Sehun says to which Junmyeon chuckles. Fair enough. They leave the restroom and go outside. It's the recess and they sit under the tree they always sit under. They just look at the leaves of the trees on the ground… The groundskeeper has usually raked them away by this time of day.

They sit closely, even though it's hot outside. They are only wearing short sleeved button ups that is a part of their school uniforms.

"I told Dad. About the… you know. The thing."

"I think I know what you're talking about," Junmyeon says. "What did he say?"

"...Nothing. That's the worst part. He's been working over 12 hours a day for the past week and avoided me. I don't know what to do." Sehun leans on his arms and sighs deeply. Junmyeon rubs his back. That makes Sehun's heartbeat go haywire.

"He'll come around. Sometimes parents just are like that. He just needs some time to process it… but he'll come around eventually. From what you've told me, I can tell he loves you a lot."

"What about your dad? Haven't you told him?" Sehun asks when turning to see Junmyeon. His face looks so kind, but a layer of worry cascades it. He looks perfect.

"I've told him. I told my mom at the same time. Jongin was there to support me. They… started yelling at me, at first, but later, after about six months… that's when they told me that they love me and just want what's best for me. They have never explicitly said that they support me in this… thing, that they call decision…" Junmyeon rolls his eyes. Sehun feels uncomfortable over the fact that some people think it's a decision. If he could decide, he would not have a crush on Junmyeon.

Though, when they're close, like this, Sehun would not change a thing. He would only want to lay his hand on Junmyeon's and listen to the noises of the city. In the evening they would lay in the same bed and talk about their day. And at night they would sleep in each other's arms. If that is the endgame then Sehun doesn't mind that his father won't accept him. If that's the case then he doesn't care if people think it's a decision. He doesn't care if he has to suffer over people's prejudices if the price is Junmyeon.

"It's not a decision," Sehun says. Junmyeon shakes his head.

"Of course it isn't. But my parents just don't care. Anyway… Just because they don't support one aspect of me, it doesn't mean that they don't accept it or that they hate it. They don't expect me to find a girlfriend or have kids in the future and they also won't listen to my troubles about being… the way I am. And that, I think, is actually the best support I want. They acknowledge it but they don't talk about it. That's all I ask."

Sehun looks at the ground with a troubled look on his face. 

"I want my dad to accept and support me. If he doesn't then I don't know what to do."

"Life goes on. If he doesn't accept you then don't expect him to. If he doesn't love you anymore then don't expect him to."

Sehun's lip starts quivering when he looks at Junmyeon on his right. His eyes get red when he just thinks about his father no longer loving him just because of this one thing. Yongsoo would not be that heartless… would he? He's just having a hard time accepting it, but it doesn't mean that he would not accept him. Junmyeon turns to look at him with an apologetic look on his face.

"I don't want to sugarcoat things for you. A lot of my friends have been abandoned or even disowned by their families because of who they are. But that doesn't mean that you would be one of those people."

Sehun hides his face and starts crying yet again. For the past month it has felt like all his life has been nothing but tears. Junmyeon wraps his arms around him and they get some stares, but they don't care. Junmyeon rubs his back and shushes him.

But he doesn't tell Sehun that his father will eventually accept him. And those are the only words that Sehun wants to hear, what he wants to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story hits close to home not gonna lie.


	12. Best Friends Forever

\- September - 

The five are at their usual meeting place. Sehun is standing between Junmyeon and Jungkook. The youngest of them all keeps staring at the ground with his arms on his chest, a bored and empty look on his face. Junmyeon looks worried, as always, as he raises his glasses. And the boy between them is completely oblivious to the amount of tension between those two.

"What are we to do against Minseok?" Baekhyun asks, standing before them with Amber by his side. She throws her hair back.

"We should get his attention. And Zitao's or Jongdae's…" Sehun thinks out loud. "And beat them all."

"Easier said than done. They wouldn't even look at us," Amber says, "and would definitely call backups to freaking kill us."

"We have to find a secure way to take them down," Junmyeon says. "Some place where they cannot hurt us."

"We'll have to make it a fair fight, too… We can't just jump on them," Sehun ponders. He looks like he's very much in thought. Beating Minseok is his dream, after all. The boss of the whole evil league… And then he would be known by everyone as the person who finally stopped the gang from stealing money from all the students of their high school.

"Of course we wouldn't do that. We still have manners… unlike them," Baekhyun huffs as he rolls his eyes. He raises his fists. "We've been so serious about this for so long. Can't we do something fun for a change?"

"What fun?" Sehun asks.

"I don't know, let's go to a movie or something. Or hang out at Sehun's place. It's been a long while since we've visited each other. And we've never even been at Jungkook's place."

Jungkook just freezes. Sehun glances at him. His father is still working long days, his mother still isn't home and Sejin is at a friend's place.

"Well, my family isn't home… Only me and Dad will be home tonight, and he won't be until it's night." When Junmyeon hears this, he turns to look at Sehun with sorrow in his eyes. It's been almost three weeks since he told his father. He can't avoid him forever.

Baekhyun and Amber get excited all of a sudden while Jungkook is sulking. 

"We should buy something to eat! Chips! Chocolate!" Baekhyun almost screams as he's heading towards the nearest grocery store to Sehun's house. Sehun rolls his eyes and laughs as Amber marches after Baekhyun.

"And coke! Don't forget coke!" she yells.

Sehun and Junmyeon start walking after them, but Jungkook stays put. He keeps staring at the ground. Sehun and Junmyeon share a knowing look.

"I'll go with them. You can go to your house already," he says and flashes a comforting smile that makes Sehun both calm and nervous. Junmyeon's smile always makes his heart skip a beat. Sehun nods and goes to his best friend. He grabs his shoulders and tries to make eye contact. He's not used to being taller than Jungkook. The growth spurt came out of nowhere.

He stands before his best friend who keeps his head down. He grabs his cheeks and forces him to look up at him with his emotionless eyes that scare Sehun.

"Is everything alright?" he asks.

"Can I stay the night," Jungkook says rather than asks. He doesn't expect a negative answer. He never does.

"Of course you can. Has something happened?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything's just like it's always been. I'm just so very tired."

"Well, you can rest at my place. I'll make a bed in my room just for you," Sehun smiles. Suddenly he feels Jungkook grab his shirt and pull him into a hug. He puts his head in the crook of Sehun's neck and just breathes deeply.

"Can I sleep in the same bed with you?"

Sehun blinks a few times before landing his arms on Jungkook's back and hugging him tight. Jungkook never hugs him. And Jungkook never wants to touch him. To be perfectly honest, Sehun would not like to sleep in the same bed with Jungkook. Of course, they've been friends for a long while, but two teenage boys should not sleep in the same bed, even if they're best friends.

Junmyeon is an exception because he's Sehun's crush and does not seem very uncomfortable with it. In fact he was more than wanting to cuddle with Sehun… But it's different with Jungkook because Jungkook is… well, straight. And not his big brother. Sejin can always cuddle with Sehun, but that's because they have always been very close and have practically grown to be a part of each other.

Overall, it's awkward with Jungkook. It's not because of Jungkook, Sehun would be very much more uncomfortable with Baekhyun. And he would be  _ very _ uncomfortable if his friends knew that he cuddles his big brother… 

"Jungkook, are you… jealous?" he asks. The slightly younger one immediately pulls away from the hug and starts walking away. Sehun blinks a few times in confusion again before running up to Jungkook and taking him in a hug again. "About Junmyeon. Are you… you know… jealous… because he's trying to…  _ steal _ me? Which he isn't, but you know…"

"Yes." Jungkook turns around and stares at Sehun with a very emotionless look again. He pulls his arms around Sehun. "I need you to tell me something."

"...Like what?"

"That you will never leave me."

"I will never leave you."

"Even if I had a girlfriend and you had a boyfriend."

"Even if you had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend."

"Tell me that we'll always be best friends."

"That's a…" Sehun squints his eyes and pulls back to look at Jungkook. "A weird thing to promise. I mean it's uh… a bit… something that people in elementary school would do."

"Just promise me. I won't ask you again if you promise this one time that we'll always be best friends."

"Why do you want to be my best friend forever?" Sehun asks when finally letting go of Jungkook. He's so weirded out by Jungkook's strange behavior. The younger one lets go as well, looking down at the ground. 

"Because lately you've been so caught up with Junmyeon and you haven't talked to me that much. Just last week I went to see a psychiatrist and I got medication…" 

"...Medication for what?"

"...For my… low mood…"

"...Are you… depressed?"

"Yes."

"I'm… sorry… I didn't know…" It makes so much sense when Sehun thinks back to what he's been like lately. And he's been all over Junmyeon that he's completely forgot to care about his best friend who's reminding Sehun about his mother suddenly. She is also depressed.

"You would've. If you paid more attention to me."

"I'm sorry, Jungkook, I'll talk to you more. From now on I'll ask you every day how you're doing. And you can visit me anytime. When I say anytime, I really mean  _ any  _ time. And I will always keep my phone near, in case you want to call or text me…"

Jungkook smiles. He  _ smiles _ for the first time in months. Sehun is amazed by how foreign it feels.

"Good."

"...And yes… you can sleep in the same bed with me."

***

The five are now sitting in a circle in the living room of Sehun's home. Sehun is again between Jungkook and Junmyeon, Baekhyun next to Jungkook and Amber next to Junmyeon. Inside the circle is an empty coke bottle that Baekhyun emptied all by himself while they were watching The Lord of The Rings.

Baekhyun spins first, since it was his idea. The bottle cap points at Amber when it stops moving.

"Truth," she says.

"Tell us a secret," Sehun says. "Something that we don't know yet."

"...Does it count if Baekhyun knows?" Amber asks. She already seems to have a secret in mind. Her voice shakes a little.

"I know what you're talking about already. You have to tell them now that you started," Baekhyun says when leaning back on his arms. Amber takes a deep breath and tries to calm down.

"Well… The thing is, that… I'm… gay…" she says and doesn't look at them in the eyes. Sehun immediately tenses. He has never heard the term 'gay' about a woman before. "Probably not a big shocker."

"With the way you dress, no, it isn't," Jungkook blurts out. She blushes. Junmyeon and Sehun glance at each other.

"Me too," the older one says. Amber immediately looks up at him and smiles widely. Sehun wants to tell them too but it's really scary. So Junmyeon does it for him… "Sehun is, too."

"All of you were so obvious," Baekhyun says with a laugh. "Tell me, Jungkook, that you're still with me."

"Straight as a ruler," Jungkook says when shrugging.

"Good. If Sehun doesn't suit your taste then you're always welcome to talk about chicks with us," Baekhyun grins when pointing at himself and Amber. Amber has a wide smile that brings out the worst wrinkles on her face.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Amber spins the bottle. The cap points at Junmyeon.

"Truth."

"Who's your crush?" she asks.

"Nobody." He says it with such confidence that Sehun's heart breaks. He looks at the ground and tries not to show that his heart feels like it's sinking in his chest. He smiles it off, shakes his head and tries not to think about how much his heart hurts. He keeps analyzing their every encounter to look for clues that would prove that Junmyeon feels the same way about him.

Junmyeon spins the bottle. It points at Baekhyun.

"Truth."

"What's your saddest memory?"

"What kind of opening up circle is this?" Baekhyun asks but laughs it off. "Anyway… I think… I don't know, actually. I've had pretty good things happening in my life. I guess the saddest was when one of my best friends in elementary school left me. I found out later that he was talking shit behind my back."

"That's horrible. Kids are the worst," Amber says.

"That they are."

Baekhyun spins the bottle. It lands on Sehun.

"Truth."

"If you could choose anyone in the world… then who would you take as your wedded husband?"

"Peter-"

"No. Real people. Not fictional."

Sehun rolls his eyes. "Jungkook."

"What?" Baekhyun asks, looking at Jungkook, Sehun and Junmyeon alternatively. "Out of  _ all  _ the people in the world?"

"Yeah. Why not?" Sehun shrugs. He does not want to think about Junmyeon. If it hurt him then he's glad. Baekhyun just sighs and shakes his head.

Sehun doesn't dare look right nor left. He just spins the bottle. It points at Junmyeon again.

"Dare." Somehow Junmyeon's voice sounds a bit more tense. Sehun hopes his heart feels as weird as his.

Sehun gets up and walks into the kitchen. It doesn't take long for him to come up with a bottle of soju in his hands and Baekhyun and Amber immediately fire up.

"I dare you to drink the whole bottle," Sehun says as he hands the bottle to Junmyeon who blinks a few times. Sehun is an angel child. He has never tasted alcohol. He would not make Junmyeon do this if he wasn't so irrationally hurt by a single stupid line. Now that he thinks about it rationally he realizes that it's a dumb thing to be mad about.

The soju bottle is a small one, so Junmyeon won't die drinking it.

"I don't think this is a good idea. Do you know what's the alcohol percentage in soju?" Amber points out. "Maybe we should just share it…"

"Isn't this your father's or something?" Baekhyun asks. "Seriously, he shouldn't."

"I've drank it before," Junmyeon says suddenly. "I know you all think I'm a good boy or something… But the truth is that whenever I go to a con, I hang out with my friends afterwards. It often leads to a party… Where we drink and make out. A lot."

Junmyeon drinking and making out with other people makes Sehun so mad. He tries to just breathe it out. He didn't know that something like that had ever happened to Junmyeon and he regrets making this his dare. He doesn't even know when Junmyeon attends these cons. Obviously he's not there very often.

Junmyeon takes the bottle and starts drinking the liquid. After a few minutes he's done, which just proves his alibi. Sehun's heart keeps sinking in his chest as Amber and Baekhyun cheer.

"You should've told this to us before. We're going to invite you to the next party we're having," Baekhyun says. 

"You guys throw parties?" Sehun asks. How come he never knew this about his friends?

Maybe he would know if he ever listened.

"Yeah. Mostly for our classmates and friends, you know. The friends that aren't as important as you three," Amber says with a smile. "And we're just trying to score some chicks."

"Minseok's gang -free zone that is," Baekhyun assures.

"Why haven't you invited us?" Sehun asks, meaning him and Jungkook. Baekhyun and Amber take a good look at them.

"An angel boy who's obsessed with superheroes and his sidekick sulky face?" Baekhyun asks. "No offence, but we want a fun party."

If Sehun was upset before, now he's definitely upset. First his crush says that he's not interested in anyone and then his friends say he's boring.

"Whatever," is all Sehun says. Baekhyun spins the bottle. Now it points at Jungkook. 

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Sehun," Baekhyun says. Sehun's whole body tenses. Not just because of what Baekhyun told him, but also because he knows that the older one will think he's boring if he won't agree to it and Jungkook will definitely do it.

And just like that, his best friend turns his head to the side and holds his head with both his hands, sealing their lips to a kiss that makes Sehun feel so weird. His eyes are wide open but he gradually closes them just because it's weird if he keeps them open. Jungkook just looks like a cyclops if he keeps them open.

This is not how Sehun imagined his first kiss to go down. And he's even more weirded out when Jungkook doesn't leave it at that small, innocent kiss, no, but he starts sucking on Sehun's lower lip and suddenly he just goes with it. He can feel Baekhyun, Amber and Junmyeon's eyes on them as Jungkook holds him tight, tugging his hair and opening his mouth. Their mouths move in such harmony that Sehun wonders if he's doing it right or if something's wrong, if it's supposed to go like this and why do Jungkook's lips taste so sweet?

He can't take much of it, so he pushes Jungkook away and hides his red face. He pulls his own hair and bites his lip.

"Wow… That was… something…" Junmyeon says.

"Get. Out." Sehun sounds demanding. Now all four of them raise their heads when they hear Sehun sniffle. "Get out!" he screams when raising his head from his hands and showing his red face and the tears rolling down his cheeks. He tries to dry them but they won't stop coming. Junmyeon tries to wipe them away but Sehun pushes him so hard that he falls on the ground on his back and complains about his shoulder. All four of them just look at him in shock.

"I-I'm sorry, Sehun, I didn't know that you would get so upset-" Baekhyun says.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook says, too. Sehun would like to scream that it's all because of Junmyeon but of course he can't. His heart hurts so much and he feels so embarrassed over what just happened. Everything that just happened was just too much.

"Get out! Now!" he yells again when standing up and walking to the door. He throws the front door open and throws their shoes outside. He only leaves Jungkook's shoes there and the youngest one takes this as a blessing that he can stay.

Baekhyun, Amber and Junmyeon walk to the door and outside the building. Sehun throws the door shut after them and keeps crying in his hands audibly. He is so embarrassed and hurt over everything that he just runs upstairs to his room and falls on his bed to hug himself, facing the wall.

It doesn't take long for Jungkook to follow him. He lays down next to Sehun and starts gently rubbing his arm. Sehun immediately remembers how his father used to do that whenever he was upset. He sniffles and whines when Jungkook keeps soothing him in silence.

"...It was so weird," Sehun says.

"It was. Let's not do it ever again," Jungkook agrees.

"...It was my first kiss…"

"...I'm… sorry…"

"I can't even look at you."

"Why?"

"Think!"

"I didn't know it would be such a big deal to you."

"A big deal?" Sehun huffs. "You didn't think it would be a big deal to me? I just had my first kiss with my best friend- oh my god."

"...If it helps, then my first kiss wasn't very special, either. I was twelve and it was with a girl I didn't even like. We were just friends and we were on a school trip…"

"It doesn't help."

"I'm sorry."

Jungkook keeps apologizing but Sehun can't get over the things he just experienced. He wants to crawl into the depths of earth and stay hidden from everybody. He's not sure if Baekhyun or Amber have ever seen him cry. He feels so ashamed now that his friends saw him fall apart. 

Jungkook knows just the remedy. He takes one of the comic books laying on Sehun's desk (that his father failed to confiscate) and lays it before him. He presses his body against Sehun's as he keeps the comic before his face, waiting for him to grab it.

And it doesn't take long for them to hide under the blanket and read the comic in silence together, side by side. Sehun keeps sniffling.

Soon they hear a car come into the yard. Sehun stands up immediately. He would do just about anything if his father or brother could come and comfort him right now. He runs downstairs before Yongsoo can go to bed.

And just then, just there, he hugs his father as soon as he walks into the house. Yongsoo can barely take off his shoes and his jacket when Sehun whizes into his arms, sobbing against him and tugging his shirt.

For some reason his father doesn't just brush him off. For some reason he pats Sehun's hair and rubs his back.

"What's wrong," he says.

"Everything," Sehun sobs.

"...I'm sorry. For avoiding you."

"Don't do it again. Please."

"It's gonna take a while for me to get used to it."

"I don't care if it takes an eternity. Just don't leave me like that." Sehun hangs onto his father like his dear life depended on him.

"...I'm sorry." Sehun snuggles against his father better. "Is something wrong? Apart from… me…"

"Everything is wrong," the son repeats. He doesn't know what part of what happened tonight he can tell his father. He's definitely not telling about the kiss. He's also not telling that he likes Junmyeon and that the boy said he's not into anyone. "Baekhyun, Amber and Junmyeon are jerks."

"What did they do?" Yongsoo sounds slightly relieved. He keeps caressing Sehun's hair and it does make the son feel slightly better. He doesn't even care that he feels like a kid now. Sometimes he just wants to feel like a child in his father's arms.

"They said they throw parties and that they don't invite me or Jungkook because we're boring…" It sounds dumb now that he said it. His father is not judging.

"It's good that they don't invite you two. You won't drink before you're eighteen," Yongsoo says sternly. Just then Jungkook walks down the stairs. "Hi."

"Hi."

"Are you staying the night?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Don't stay up too late… you have school tomorrow."

"It's not that I'm sad that they don't invite us," Sehun whines, gaining his father's attention again, "but they think we're boring…"

"Sometimes… people just find different things fun. Maybe some people don't like superheroes as much as you do. And that's okay. It doesn't mean you're boring."

"I missed you," Sehun says when snuggling his father better again. Yongsoo hugs him tightly now.

"I'm sorry. You know I love you, right?"

They keep hugging each other in silence for a while. After that Sehun just dries his tears and goes up to his room without saying another word to his father. Yongsoo goes straight to bed.

Sehun covers himself with his blanket after changing into his pyjamas. His pyjamas is actually nothing but a black Batman t-shirt and some college shorts. Jungkook has his own pyjamas at the Oh residence. It consists of Sehun's old clothing and looks exactly the same as Sehun's current one.

Sehun faces the wall. Jungkook faces the other way. It's not the first time they've slept in the same bed, but it's been a long while since the last time. And all those times were accidents. They just fell asleep while reading comics or watching movies.

"Lately you've been distant," Sehun says. "Is it because of me?"

"I'm not the one who's distant. It's you. You're all over Junmyeon."

"Oh… Sorry… It's just that… that…"

"You like him." Sehun's whole face feels like burning.

"How do you know?"

"It's kind of obvious."

"But today he said he doesn't have a crush… so… I have no chances."

"It doesn't matter. You could get any guy you want."

"I don't want other guys. I want Junmyeon."

"Sehun," Jungkook starts as he turns on his other side. Sehun also turns so that they can face each other. Jungkook's eyes are dark and nothing really seems to go on behind them. It scares Sehun a little. "Promise me that you won't let him break your heart."

"...I… promise… I won't let Junmyeon break my heart… but Jungkook, what about the things you told me tonight… Your depression and such… How… are you feeling…?"

"I feel empty. But with you around I feel slightly better. If you hurt me I don't feel anything. But if you get yourself hurt then I'm gonna be really mad."

Sehun smiles sweetly. Jungkook's face softens a little.

"Best friends forever?" Sehun asks and his face heats up from cringing at his own words. Jungkook lets out something that imitates a chuckle and does something that could be a distant relative of a smile.

"Of course."

***

"Watch it!" Minseok yells when pushing Junmyeon on the ground. Sehun hears this and immediately emerges from the shadows to protect. Yesterday Junmyeon broke his heart, today Sehun saves him. Doesn't seem fair.

Sehun walks between them and helps Junmyeon up. The older one looks at him for a long while and then tidies himself up. Minseok eyes them both from head to toe.

"Are you Oh Sehun? The bitch that beat up my guys?" Minseok asks.

"Baekhyun and Amber did most of it," Sehun says, but earns nothing but a mean glare from Minseok. Sehun feels anger boiling inside him. "But yes, I am Oh Sehun."

"So is this your new boytoy?" Minseok asks, now stepping closer to Sehun and looking at his lips that have a little bruise on them. "Did he do this?" Minseok asks when touching Sehun's lower lip, the bruise that Jungkook did last night.

"No," Sehun replies immediately. He wants to punch Minseok so bad… but people are watching. "We're gonna take you down."

"Take me down?" Minseok chuckles.

"Yes. You're our biggest enemy." Minseok laughs harder, now out loud.

"What are you, like twelve?" he asks as he pushes Sehun's chest, making the younger one fall back slightly. Minseok is shorter than him but he's not lacking when it comes to intimidation. "Stay out of my sight or bad things start happening to you and your friends."

With that he just leaves. Sehun clenches his fists and grits his teeth. His blood is boiling. Minseok was so close and he wanted to do nothing but hit him so hard that he would fall unconscious to the floor.

Junmyeon looks apologetic when he places his hand on Sehun's shoulder and forces eye contact. He looks friendly, as always, but he broke Sehun's heart.

"Are you alright?" he asks. Sehun nods.

"Yeah. He didn't actually do anything…"

"I know. I saw…" Junmyeon says awkwardly. Then he scratches the back of his neck even more awkwardly.

"He's just so aggravating. I wanna punch him so hard that he goes crying back to his mother." Junmyeon looks worried now.

"I know. But we just have to deal with it for the time being. We'll stop him one day. And, Sehun, I…" Junmyeon starts as he looks at the ground in thought. "I'm… sorry for… whatever I did last night that made you upset… I can make it up to you."

Sehun crosses his arms on his chest and avoids looking at Junmyeon. There is nothing Junmyeon could do to make him feel better. Unless, of course, he would fall in love with Sehun. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"...If you change your mind, then you know I'm here for you. There's nothing wrong with being upset about what happened… but I'd like to know why you were angry at me, too."

"...I'll tell you…" Sehun starts, now raising his finger, " **if** we have a sleepover at your place."

Junmyeon smiles to him slightly.

"If you want to."

Sehun's stomach is in knots again. He feels so daring. After that little incident with Minseok, he feels like he could do anything. So maybe telling Junmyeon this weekend would be the best remedy for his broken heart. Maybe actually talking to someone about how he feels could heal him.

...Or maybe he'll just have to make up a lie that makes sense and try to keep Junmyeon close. 


	13. Ribcage

"We're at war with Minseok's gang," Sehun says to his friends who are gathered around him in their usual meeting place. The sun is shining through the holes of the ceiling. "We should probably figure out a tactic to take him down."

"Maybe we should just wait for the right opportunity," Amber says. She and Baekhyun are still a bit uncomfortable around Sehun. The younger one is acting like that night when he cried in front of them all never even happened. "Because otherwise we would just have to take down all his guys one after another… and it wouldn't take long for Minseok to realize that it's us. He would send the rest of his army after us."

"Yeah, we can't do anything stupid or we'll all get hurt," Baekhyun says with his arms crossed on his chest. He's avoiding eye contact with Sehun. "It doesn't matter how hard we believe in ourselves. We have no idea how big Minseok's gang is."

"Maybe the first step would be figuring it out? And maybe getting ourselves a gang of our own," Sehun suggests. "Park Chanyeol has agreed to help me if I ever need it."

"Oh?" Baekhyun and Amber raise their eyebrows. "Well, maybe we should do that. Ask everyone who knows how to fight and want to stop Minseok. There's strength in numbers."

***

After their little meeting, they're on their own ways again. Junmyeon and Sehun walk side by side because they're going to Junmyeon's place for a sleepover. It's Saturday now, so Sehun isn't wearing his school uniform like he usually is. This time he won't be wearing Junmyeon's clothes that conveniently fit him just right.

They walk in silence. They reach Junmyeon's home and get inside his room that is always as neat as the time before, as neat as the day his family moved in… Sehun imagines.

The younger one sits on the bed awkwardly and Junmyeon sits on his desk chair. He looks at Sehun with worried eyes and it makes Sehun slightly uncomfortable.

"Sehun… can we talk… about what happened… last Wednesday?" he asks. The younger one just breathes heavily. "You said you would tell me."

"Well, maybe I don't wanna tell you now."

Sehun crosses his arms on his chest and crouches while Junmyeon sighs deeply and comes closer to him. Their faces are so close to each other it makes Sehun blush. 

"I won't judge. Not everyone is suited for that kind of stuff," Junmyeon says. "And… well… you were pretty upset after the whole spinning the bottle game. If it makes you feel any better, then… I wasn't really honest."

"So… you haven't went partying with your cosplay friends?" Sehun asks, making Junmyeon laugh. 

"That I have done. Many times. But about that whole… having a crush on someone. It's just that… I wouldn't want to have a crush on that person… in case he didn't like me back." Junmyeon takes a deep breath. Sehun's heart almost stops. His whole head becomes dizzy and vision blurs for a second, a tingling feeling going through his whole body. His hands become sweaty in an instant and he feels uncomfortable holding Junmyeon's hand now.

Now they lock eye contact. Sehun's breath hitches and his whole face feels like it's on fire. Junmyeon's eyes are intense, his look serious and his cheeks are slightly tinted. He leans closer, so that their faces are only inches away from each other, and he raises his hand so that he can caress Sehun's cheek. The younger one could melt right then and there.

"Can I?" he asks. Sehun, unable to utter any words, nods a couple times maybe a little too enthusiastically.

And then, just like that, Junmyeon seals their lips together, closes his eyes and waits for Sehun to reply. Sehun, in total shock, not knowing what the hell to do, closes his eyes as well and does something that could replicate kissing back, but it takes a while. His mind goes foggy and every bad thought he had about Junmyeon just disappear. He was jealous and upset for no reason. The kiss makes the tingling feeling go all over his body and for some reason he feels hot.

Junmyeon's lips don't taste as sweet as Jungkook's. They taste like chapstick. His hand is warm on Sehun's cheek and his lips are so soft. 

And the kiss is way too short for Sehun's liking. Junmyeon keeps caressing Sehun's cheek and smiling at him with a very dreamy look on his face. He utters a small laughter when he sees Sehun's dazed face and big eyes demanding for answers.

"I knew it was you… when the guys took me in the restroom and you peeked through the door. Back in March. And when you stalked me in April… I thought you were one of Minseok's guys or otherwise you had a huge crush on me," Junmyeon laughs. "You were pretty creepy."

"B-b-b-b-b-buh-" Sehun starts and becomes more red than a tomato after realizing that he has lost his ability to speak. Junmyeon's kiss has left him so dazed that he has completely forgotten how to function. This makes Junmyeon smile wider if possible. Sehun's not sure if it's mischievous or overly happy smile. "B-b-but I-I-I d-d-d-didn't ha-have a crush on you back then."

"Now you do?" Junmyeon asks with a sweet voice. Sehun wants to sink into the depths of the earth. "I've felt this way ever since the day you first talked to me. I just wanted to hold you like this ever since I heard your voice. And I have been so happy that you've let me do all those things."

Sehun might just cry soon. He covers his face from embarrassment and feels and just falls on Junmyeon's bed to face the wall. He can hear the other one getting up, pushing the desk chair back to its position and then laying on the bed behind him, wrapping his arms around him. Before Sehun can really understand what's going on, he feels Junmyeon's wet lips on his neck and he winces, a shock going through his body and all his blood rushing down to his bottom. He has no idea as to why that happens, why his neck is so sensitive that it makes his whole body curl. He lets out something that is close to a moan and immediately slaps his hands on his mouth to prevent himself from letting out any other embarrassing noises.

"Are you shy?" Junmyeon asks. Sehun nods.

"I-I-I-" he starts and swallows dryly. "I-I haven't done anything like this before."

"You mean you're like an extra virgin?" Junmyeon asks as he caresses Sehun's side. It makes the little spoon want to cry. "If you figured out you're gay only this summer, then it's no wonder."

Junmyeon gets up a little and places a kiss on Sehun's cheek, making the younger one want to crawl into the corner and hide himself from the world. He likes Junmyeon… but the feels are insufferable.

"Do you now wanna talk about what happened Wednesday?" the older one asks, caressing Sehun ever so sweetly. Sehun would like to return the favor, but this is all so new to him that he just doesn't know what to do or how to act.

"...What about it?"

"...Why did you get so upset…? I was sure I'd done something wrong."

"Well… a part of it had to do with you saying that you're not interested in anyone… and a part of it had to do with Baekhyun calling me and Jungkook boring… and then Jungkook kissing me and me realizing that that was my first kiss…" Sehun says with a dry throat. Junmyeon hugs him tight and it feels warm and nice.

"That sounds horrible. But hey, most of us don't have such great memories about our first kisses," he tries to comfort. Sehun pouts.

"How was yours, then?"

"...It was awful. I was with this one guy when I was like fourteen… and he was seventeen. I'm not particularly proud of dating him, but I was young and eager and just kind of wanted to know what it would be like… to kiss, to be in a relationship, to have sex… that I kind of just settled with the first guy who showed interest in me. And he lived in Cheongju. I visited him quite often…"

"Did you… have sex?"

"Well, yeah, we dated for a year, and before we broke up, we did. He was already eighteen at that point…" 

"Didn't your parents know…?"

"They were busy and oblivious," Junmyeon explains, his voice sounding sad. "I told them I would stay at a friend's place during the weekend. They didn't question."

"That's sad. I would die if Dad didn't care."

"Speaking of which… have you talked to him?"

"Yeah… on Wednesday, I did…" 

"What did he say?"

"...He just said he's sorry about everything… He has come home normally for a couple days now. And Mom's coming home, too, so I guess he's going to stay home now as well."

"Where is she?"

"At the mental ward in the hospital."

"Oh… Sorry… You've mentioned that before…" Junmyeon says with a low voice. "How long has she been there?"

"...Like a month?"

"Do you miss her?"

"...I miss her every day," Sehun says, now turning so that he's facing Junmyeon. His heart pounds so hard, but talking about serious stuff for a while takes his thoughts out of the person who's in front of him for a moment. "...I guess I miss her the way you miss your parents…"

"...That's sad. I know what you mean," Junmyeon says. He raises his hand to caress Sehun's cheek again, making the younger one's heart flutter. "You're so cute."

Sehun blushes again. His heart starts pounding when he thinks of the words he's going to utter in his mind. He wants to say those words.

"I want you to be my boyfriend," he says after taking a deep breath. Junmyeon is seemingly shocked over the words, but soon a big smile takes over his face. He's nothing but smiles.

"First you have to tell me something," he says, now placing his finger on Sehun's lips and leaning a little closer and making Sehun have a heart attack. "How long have you been into me?"

"...I… I didn't realize it… until July… but I've liked you for months… since the moment I saw you, I just thought you looked so good and then you've been so kind and you have a really nice personality and you're so nice and you have big dreams and you make me feel good about myself and I don't know Ijustwanttobenearyouallthetime-" Sehun rambles and his whole body starts jittering. Junmyeon notices this and chuckles, now holding the younger one's shoulder.

"Calm down." He leans closer and caresses Sehun's hair. "Calm down. There's no need to be nervous around me. You don't have to be afraid of saying anything or doing anything around me. I won't do anything you don't want me to do. All you have to do is tell me no."

He leans even closer, their faces almost touching, looking at Sehun's parted lips that are gasping for air. Sehun closes his eyes and leans in quick, even surprising himself, to kiss Junmyeon, doing what he remembers Jungkook doing. He opens his mouth and takes Junmyeon's lower lip between his lips and soon Junmyeon is the one taking over, sucking on Sehun's lips and making him wince once again. Sehun is being extra careful because he's not so sure what he's doing, he's just going with it.

Until Junmyeon pushes him against the bed and opens his mouth more, sucking on his lips and making sure that everyone could see that Sehun has definitely been making out with someone. Sehun lets himself a little loose and grabs Junmyeon's hair, pulling him closer. Junmyeon's hand sneaks under Sehun's shirt and he touches his stomach when pulling away from his lips and starting to suck on his neck. Sehun pants and lets out deep breaths, almost moans, covering his mouth. He feels so ashamed of the fact that he is, indeed, on the verge of coming into his pants without even being touched.

He grabs Junmyeon's shoulders and pushes him slightly away. Junmyeon takes the hint immediately.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I got a little too excited," he says while awkwardly scratching his neck. Sehun tries to catch his breath. Junmyeon lays back on the bed on his side, adoring Sehun's facial features. Sehun turns to look at him, his hands on his chest, before he turns on his side to face him. Junmyeon lays down on his back and Sehun crawls closer, hugging his torso. This reminds him of his big brother and he immediately tries to push away the thought. Sejin is the last person he wants to think about when he's with Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon plays with his hair and he rubs Junmyeon's chest with his thumb. He can feel his ribcage rising and falling.

"...So… are we boyfriends now?" he asks. 

"...Yes," Junmyeon replies almost immediately. Sehun smiles and lets out a giggle, hugging his boyfriend tighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra virgin olive oil
> 
> The title of this chapter is a song called Ribcage by Crywolf.


	14. Unconscious

\- October -

Sehun's heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest. He's been dating Junmyeon for two weeks and these two weeks have been the best of his life. His family has picked up that something great has happened, but only Sejin is in the know. Sehun doesn't dare tell his parents about this. His mother might just end up in the hospital again, and Sehun wouldn't want that. Though, Yongsoo has probably told Jangmi when he was visiting her.

He tries not to think about it.

Junmyeon takes his hand in his and smiles at him sweetly as they make their way into the alleyway that takes them to their usual meeting place. Three of their friends are on the lead, not looking behind them.

When they finally reach their destination, they turn to look at the two at the back and immediately notice their linked hands.

"I knew it!" Baekhyun screams and starts pointing at them. Sehun looks at the ground, his face starting to heat up. He was so nervous of their reaction. "You two are dating, aren't you?!"

"Yeah. We are," Junmyeon confesses confidently. Sehun doesn't dare look up at his friends. Especially Jungkook… He must feel betrayed. Sehun has tried his hardest to keep up with him, but it's so hard when he just wants to talk about Junmyeon… 

"You two are so cute together," Amber says with a sweet smile. "How long?"

"Two weeks," Junmyeon keeps talking, Sehun stays silent. 

"I thought you said you didn't like anyone," Amber points out.

"People lie," Baekhyun says.

"Especially Minseok," Sehun now speaks up, trying to take the conversation off him and his lover. He glances at Junmyeon who looks rather defeated. "Y-you know… What's the status? What do we know about the gang now?"

"Nothing new, really," Baekhyun says. "Nobody wants to help and nobody wants to tell information about the gang and its members. So, we're basically screwed."

"All we can do at the moment is to help people that are getting bullied and hope that they're part of Minseok's gang. That's how we'll get allies," Amber says. "Like yesterday I managed to recruit a girl. I saved her from some creep… She's actually from a different school and I saw it happen on the street. My dad helped."

"Wow. That's pretty cool," Sehun admits.

"Just yesterday… my father beat me up," Jungkook says with a quiet voice, face completely void of emotion. Something in Sehun's heart feels weird. His best friend finally told them about his father. Baekhyun, Amber and Junmyeon all look shocked and worried after hearing his words.

"Does it… happen a lot?" Amber asks. Jungkook nods. "You can come to us if you want to talk about it. And you can always call me if you need a place to stay."

"Me too," Baekhyun offers.

"Thanks, but I prefer Sehun's house," Jungkook explains.

"Oh… that's why you didn't throw him out," Baekhyun says to Sehun and the latter feels uncomfortable that Baekhyun even brought it up.

"We have guestrooms," Junmyeon says, "so if any of you ever need a place to stay, we got plenty of room."

"Now you're just showing off," Baekhyun rolls his eyes playfully and elbows Junmyeon. The latter laughs awkwardly.

***

When they're on their lunch break, Minseok comes up to them. All five of them are eating at the same table and chatting about this and that, Baekhyun making jokes that makes the whole group scream from laughter and Jungkook chuckle. That is an achievement.

Minseok stands at the end of their table and eyes them all, but sets his eyes on Sehun who feels chills go down his spine. Minseok's eyes are dark and mysterious and so… suffocating. Sehun feels small, but tries to act that he's not afraid of the older student.

It gets dead quiet at the table, but the rest of the cafeteria keeps on chatting. They don't pay attention to the group.

"I've heard of what you've been doing. Do you think you can just scatter my gang like that? If you five have any common sense, you should leave it." He turns to look at Junmyeon who's just next to him. He leans closer to him and Junmyeon keeps staring at his food, almost shaking. "Especially you, Junmyeon."

"We're not afraid of you," Sehun says with determination. Amber, Jungkook and Baekhyun look like they agree with Sehun.

"Oh, you shouldn't be afraid of me. But you should be afraid of what I am capable of doing to all of you with just a snap of my fingers."

"Why are they even in your gang?" Baekhyun tries to ask. He earns a glare from Minseok.

"I've given them what they want. I've helped them," he says. "And that help goes beyond any help that you could give."

"With money? Junmyeon is not your piggy bank," Sehun huffs. Minseok shakes his head.

"No. He isn't. He's just an investor," he says and lifts his hands from the table. "If you're smart then you're going to leave my gang alone. Otherwise… like I said before… bad things start happening to you… your friends… and your families."

This makes Junmyeon raise his head and make eye contact with the monster that he used to call his best friend. Minseok looks over to the table where Jongin and Taemin are sitting alone, laughing about something and talking lively.

"Don't," Junmyeon says. Minseok keeps the eye contact for a while before leaving the table silently. Sehun clenches his fists and hits the table once the bully is out of hearing distance.

"Ugh! I fucking hate him!" he yells, making some students look at them.

"Me too," Amber says. "But that's no reason to disturb others' peace of mind during their lunch break…"

"I'm not afraid of him," Baekhyun says. "Let him send his best members after me. I'll beat them up in no time."

"You have no idea how many there are," Amber refreshes his memory. Baekhyun just shrugs.

"Whatever."

"Today I beat down some guys who were harassing another guy. I hope he can help us later," Sehun says. He beat down some guys which means that Minseok was probably pretty pissed at him.

"You know, maybe his gang isn't that big. Maybe he's just trying to make it seem like it so that we would be afraid," Baekhyun says, now eating some of his rice with his chopsticks. "Trying to instill us with fear."

"Yeah. Maybe he is. Or maybe his gang is fucking gigantic and we're going to die if we cross him," Amber says, punching Baekhyun's shoulder.

"We've crossed him already. He would've killed us."

Sehun doesn't want to think about dying because of Minseok, so he just focuses on his boyfriend who's staring at his food. He rubs his shoulder and it's like Junmyeon comes back to life.

"Are you alright?" Sehun asks. Junmyeon shakes his head.

"He just threatened to hurt my brother. I can't with that."

"Maybe Jongin and his friend should join us," Sehun tries but Junmyeon keeps shaking his head.

"No. No way. I don't want to pull him into this mess. If anything bad happens to him, then…"

"Nothing bad's gonna happen to him."

"Sehun," Junmyeon starts as he raises his head to look at his boyfriend in the eye. "You would understand if you had a little brother."

Sehun turns to look at the table. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't, but that makes him think about how Sejin feels for the first time in a long while. Maybe he should apologize to him for being the way he is. Every time he's so excited about a fight, his brother would just furrow his eyebrows and worry about him. And Sehun would never get why he got so worked up over nothing.

Now, if he can keep Jongin out of trouble, he should. For Junmyeon.

***

Sehun rushes out of school to inform his big brother that he's sorry he's been a nuisance and made him worried about him. Sejin has been very stressed lately. He's been eating less, he's been more agitated, yelled at his father and just looked very exhausted. Sehun hasn't paid much attention to this, since all his thoughts have been around Junmyeon and Minseok.

How come he's just letting people around him get worse? His whole family is on the verge of falling apart because of him.

He tries not to think about it.

It's broad daylight. Sehun notices six guys following him. That's odd, he's never seen them before and they certainly have never headed in this direction. Sehun just keeps walking towards his home, sudden fear taking over his whole body. Surely these guys don't want anything bad to him, right?

Sehun picks up the pace and looks behind himself. The six guys pick up the pace as well.

He starts running. He can hear them running after him when he's in his home street. And suddenly the six raise their hoods so that they wouldn't be seen… and they all put on some black gloves and breathing masks.

They must be from Minseok's gang. Nobody else would want to come after Sehun like this… and the audacity, to come and chase him during the day! Sehun knows nobody will help him. Maybe someone will call the police if the guys get violent.

Sehun runs as fast as he can, but he can hear one of the guy's steps closer and closer. He's much faster than the rest of the group and he grips on Sehun's arm, making the boy trip and fall on the ground. He starts flailing his arms and legs, trying to hit someone, something, until all the guys are on him. One of them sits on his back, one of them holds his boot on the back of his head and makes him kiss the ground while the rest of them start kicking him.

Sehun was so near but so far away from home. He starts screaming in case his father or brother could hear him. At this point anyone is fine.

The guy who was sitting on his back stands up, grabs Sehun's hair and forces him on his knees. Then he punches Sehun so hard that his lip almost splits and his vision blurs for a moment. Then the guy kneels with him, goes behind him and keeps him in place when the rest of the guys start hitting and kicking him as they please.

Sehun can barely understand what's going on. His world starts spinning and he sees some blood on the ground. Is that his? His screams become muddled, but he hears yelling from the distance. He can't make out the words, but soon the group scatters and he falls on the ground.

"...ambulance-" he hears someone say and soon he sees his brother's worried face in front of him. He's lifted and his head is pressed against something warm. It's Sejin's chest. Sehun can't raise his hands or say anything, he just closes his eyes as he feels his father's hands on his face and hears his warm and panicked voice.


	15. Open Up

The ceiling is white. That's the first thing Sehun pays attention to when he wakes up. He also notices that he's on a drip. He's in pain and can vaguely remember what happened.

When he looks to his right, he notices his brother reading a book while sitting on the bed that Sehun is laying on. He's crossed his legs and he bites his lip, his glasses low. When Sehun looks downwards, he sees his father and mother sitting on some chairs at the back of the room. Jangmi isn't doing anything, just looking at the floor and playing with her fingers nervously. Yongsoo is reading a newspaper with an agitated look on his face. They all look very serious.

Sehun moves his arm slightly and it makes Sejin jump, put his book on the bed and raise Sehun so that he can hug him. Sehun blinks slowly before registering what's happening and then raising his arms to hug his brother as well. Sejin pulls him against his chest and doesn't say anything, just hugs him tight and then starts rubbing his shoulder. His parents are soon next to him as well.

"You have to stop this," Yongsoo says sternly to his younger son who now closes his eyes again.

"If they'd got you a few hundred meters before… you might not even be here," Sejin says with a dry voice, sounding like he had just stopped crying. He sits back down on the bed and grabs Sehun's cheeks, pulling him away from himself and then nearer to his face. Sehun opens his eyes after leaving the warmth of his brother's embrace. Sejin's eyes are red and there are dark circles under them. "Stop this. I can't watch you get hurt like this. What if you… die? I can't watch you all the time, Sehuna, you have to take care of yourself. You're not okay. Whatever you think you're doing, stop it. I don't care if you help people, just do it in a way that doesn't put your life in danger. And it doesn't matter, there's a lot of bad people in the world and you can't stop them all, you can't risk your life trying to save people… I'd rather have the whole school infested with that gang than see you hurt like this ever again."

Sehun tries to make some sense of his brother's words, but he just can't help feeling betrayed. After all, he's just one person. If he can save many, even if it costs him his life, then isn't that just a win?

"I'm sorry, hyung," is all he says and it doesn't please his brother.

"Don't say sorry to me. Say that you're not going to do it again." Sehun stays silent, making Sejin frustrated and let go of him. He turns away from him and stands up, gripping his hair and walking in circles. This time it's Yongsoo's turn to try and make some sense to him. He sits on the bed next to his son and tries to make eye contact.

"This hero thing… It's got to go. You're not a hero, Sehuna. You're just an ordinary high school kid who needs to graduate in order to get a job. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of somebody else. I had to take care of myself, then my company, then my wife, then Sejin and then you. You can't save everyone. You have to prioritize. Do those random students at school really mean that much to you? I feel like I've failed when I couldn't keep you safe. Could you… for once… think about how we feel?"

"I was just beat up, Dad. I can't think about how you feel," Sehun huffs. He can feel tears brimming in his eyes but he won't let them fall. It's unbelievable that he was just beat up so bad that he was hospitalized and all his family do is lecture him. How about a 'I'm so glad you're okay'? His family should try and make him feel better, not worse. He could've gotten seriously hurt. At the moment his body aches so much that he feels seriously hurt too.

"We love you. We care about how you feel. You could return the favor," the father says.

"No, you don't!" Sehun snaps and immediately a tear falls from his eye. "Especially you and Mom. You two don't give two shits about how I feel!"

He hides his face and Yongsoo comes closer to him, to speak with a more silent voice.

"If this is about that… liking boys thing, then… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I shouldn't have ditched you like that."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have!" Sehun yells at him when taking his hands off his face and sniffling a little. "You just want me to be a certain way and feel a certain way and when I'm not like that, you're… disappointed."

"I'm not disappointed in you," Yongsoo assures when getting closer to Sehun and drying his tears with his thumb. His eyes look tired and his touch feels loving. Sehun sobs a little. "I think you are so brave for kicking all those guys' asses. They deserved it. I'm so proud that you always fight for what's right. I'm just so, so, so worried about what those guys might do to you once you show any kind of weakness or how cruel they can be towards boys like you. After all, you're just one person. It pains us all to see you feel this way, and it pains us more to see that you still can't stop chasing the title of a hero. I know you look up to Sejin. I know you know how many people he's saved, including you. And now, you're a lot of people's hero, too."

Sejin turns to look at his little brother for a moment and Sehun looks right back at him. He breaks down when he sees Sejin's eyes and feels like he's judging him. Of course he wants to be like Sejin. Sejin never cares about what people think of him. Sejin never lets anybody boss him around. Sejin is confident and knows who he is. Sejin has a kind heart that makes everyone around him feel cared about. Sejin knows how to show love and how to treat people. 

Of course Sehun wants to be like his brother. All the Marvel and DC superheroes are nothing compared to his biggest hero, his big brother.

Yongsoo sits right next to Sehun who keeps hiding his face. He takes his son in his arms and embraces him, patting his shoulder comfortingly. Sehun feels ashamed that his father outed him like that in front of his brother.

"I've never told this to anyone, but… when you were a kid, I went through some really tough times. You were so little, like five years old, and I took you to work with me all the time. Do you remember that?"

Sehun sniffles, now lowering his hands but his lip still quivering, leaning on his father, "I-I remember."

"That's because I… was… well, my mood was low all the time. I didn't find much motivation to go to work. I didn't feel like anything. But every time I was with you, I felt important. Every time with you I felt like the most important person in the world. You saved me back then."

"I was so jealous," Sejin suddenly says. "You took Dad's attention all the time."

"I'm sorry," Yongsoo says, "if I made you feel like I had a favorite."

"No, you don't have to apologize, we were never that close. Besides, Sehun is my favorite, too."

Sehun sobs and hates it because it makes him feel more pain. So he turns to look at his mother and see if she has anything to say. She usually doesn't.

"Can you leave?" Sehun asks from her. She raises her head and looks shocked, opening her mouth and closing it again, trying to find the right words.

"No. No, I can't leave. You're my son, and I should be here for you. You must be in a lot of pain, the nurses told us you have a broken rib and you had internal bleeding-"

"But you've never been before," Sehun blurts out. She looks defeated and exhausted.

"Sehun, don't talk like that to your mother. She just came back from the hospital-" Yongsoo tries to calm him down but Sehun cuts him off.

"I'm so sick of tiptoeing around you. I'm so sick of trying to act so nicely to you. I'm so sick of being awkward around you all the time and acting like I don't know you're fucking mental." Jangmi frowns and looks away from him, tears immediately dwelling in her eyes. She just sniffles once as her face gets slowly redder. 

"Sehun. Don't talk like that to your mother."

"He's right, Yongsoo. I am mental. And I'm so sorry I haven't been there for you, Sehun. I know you might not believe me but I love you. So much. If I could go back in time, then I would've spent more time with both of you. I'm sorry I haven't been the mother you needed and deserved. I'm sorry. Just let me try. I love you so much."

"No, you don't," Sehun says and leans back on his father. He's been daddy's boy ever since he was a child and this woman in front of him starts to seem more like a stranger with every passing day. Jangmi tries her hardest to keep it together. "And it doesn't matter if you do, cause you were never there."

"I wish I could've been. I wish you would tell me things now. I wish we could talk to each other. You used to tell me everything that happened at school," she says with a dry voice, tears sliding down her cheeks. They're all crying. "And about the… you know… liking boys thing… I don't have a problem with it… I don't care who you end up with, as long as he's good to you and treats you right. I hope you know that. And I don't care if you want to be a hero, as long as you don't get yourself hurt. I don't care if you like superheroes, as long as you don't get obsessed with them." But unfortunately he is beyond that point. 

"Of course. You never care about anything that I do," Sehun shakes his head, turning more to his father but Yongsoo turns him back to his mother. Sehun just now realizes that his brother has left the room. Slowly Yongsoo gets up too, leaving Sehun hanging. He holds his father's hand for a while but Yongsoo just flashes him a teary smile. Sehun almost panics. The only person that he wanted to leave is the one who stays.

"Me and Sejin will call your friends in the reception. We'll be right back," Yongsoo says and Sehun almost starts hyperventilating when he sees Yongsoo close the door behind him and his mother comes closer to him. He shakes his head and avoids looking at his mother.

"What should I say? What should I do? Tell me. I'll do it."

"Tell me why you don't care about me," Sehun almost whispers. "Tell me why it's so awkward to be around you."

"I care. I'm sorry if I come off that way. It was never my intention. I know I've been distant. And I'm glad you finally told me how you feel. Don't hide the truth, even if it hurts." At least Jangmi is honest. Sehun can always count on that. 

"...Why do you go to the hospital every now and then? I still don't know."

"...I don't like talking about it. Yongsoo doesn't like talking about it. But I'm… well… I'm just… exhausted."

"Why did you have kids if you can't even take care of them?"

"...I ask Yongsoo why he fell in love with me almost every day. Why he wanted to raise a family with me. He could've gotten anyone with his looks and his personality. His heart is just pure gold." Sehun thinks how handsome his father must've been when he was younger. Now he's… not so much. "Sometimes there are days when I can't bring myself to care about anyone or anything. Sehun, sometimes I've even… contemplated… suicide… I've attempted it… But then… you know what happened…?"

Sehun freezes. He did not expect to get this kind of opening up from his mother… or any of his family members. And he never even knew. Now he feels bad and guilty for yelling at her and it makes him cry even more. He must have made his mother feel even worse. Maybe she is distant, but not having her around would break Sehun. He hides his face and sobs violently.

Jangmi sits closer and drapes her arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. Her breath hitches and she sniffles and sobs.

"Every time I've contemplated doing it… I've talked to Yongsoo. He has made me feel important and that I matter. He has convinced me that you and Sejin need and love me. And… I know it's been true in Sejin's case… but I don't know about you. I don't know if you need me. I don't know if you love me. But I feel like a failure as a mother."

Sehun doesn't know what to say. All he can do is cry more. He did mean the words he said but now he regrets saying them. He hates himself for ever making his mother feel that way. And he hates himself for making his mother feel like it's all her fault. For some reason, he can't reply. He wants to, but it seems impossible.

"I know you're on heavy medication right now and that's why you're feeling emotional… but… I hope you know that I love you. I can't say it enough. Even if you didn't love me, I still love you. When you were born and I held you in my arms for the first time, I just couldn't stop crying. You were so small and fragile and you needed me. Remembering how small you were sixteen years ago makes me feel like a fossil," Jangmi utters a laughter. Just then Sehun turns to her, slowly not to hurt himself, and hugs her tight, sobbing against her neck. Jangmi smiles a little and wraps her arms around him too.

"I'm sorry. For saying what I said."

"...We have to be able to tell the truth… Even if it hurts. It's good you told me. I hope you can tell me more things in the future. And… you don't have to tiptoe around me. You think I haven't noticed how awkward you are with me?"

Sehun just sobs a little more before pulling back. His chest hurts because of the broken rib. He looks at her in the eye and she smiles at him slightly before starting to caress his hair and cheek.

"...Sehun… Do you… love me…?" she asks. Sehun looks away and sniffs before nodding timidly. She smiles to herself. "...That's all I wanted to know."

Sejin and Yongsoo come back into the room, both of them a bit more in control of their emotions now. Yongsoo dries the last of the tears and sits on a chair in the back of the room, just keeping an eye on his sons. Sejin walks up to the two who look up at him. Their eyes look the same.

"We called Jungkook and told him to tell your friends to come visit you. They should be here in no time," Sejin says. Jangmi smiles at Sehun before placing a kiss on his forehead and then getting up. Sehun just quickly looks at her before focusing on his brother again. Sejin sits on the edge of the bed and Jangmi sits on the chair at the back of the room, next to her husband. "How much in pain are you?"

"Very much," Sehun sniffs. Sejin just sighs before scooting closer to his brother, laying next to him on the bed. Sehun leans on his chest, closes his eyes and tries to calm down. After all, he doesn't want to be an emotional mess around his friends again. Sejin dries his tears with his sleeves.

"Let's talk about something… not so dramatic and sad. Like… uhm… What did you have for breakfast this morning? I feel like somebody's eaten my packed lunch…" Sejin teases, making Sehun chuckle lightly.

"I didn't. It was Dad."

Yongsoo immediately looks away.

"A-ha! Now I know the culprit. What do you think is the proper sentence for this felon, judge?"

"He has to buy a new game for our PS," Sehun immediately says. "Like that one… what's it called? Red Dead Redemption?"

"Red Dead Redemption it is," Sejin confirms.

"Fine," Yongsoo huffs.

"We should totally play a game," Sejin suggests.

"What game?" Sehun asks.

"I spy with my little eye…"

"No."

"Yes."

"No. I'm not gonna. Hyung, I can't see anything from here."

"Fine, then. I should've brought my cards with me."

"We should play 'can you guess the superhero'," Sehun suggests and Sejin immediately shakes his head.

"No. 'Can you guess the anime' would be better."

"But I don't watch anime."

"Exactly. Well, if we had a dog, what would you name it?"

"Peter," Sehun replies without too much consideration. Sejin huffs.

"No, you have to let Peter Parker go."

"I didn't mean Peter Parker, I meant Peter Pan." Sejin rolls his eyes.

"Fair enough."

They lay there for a while in silence. Sejin tried his best to cheer up Sehun and he managed to do it a little. He keeps caressing his little brother's hair and drying the last of his tears so that he doesn't have to be ashamed in front of his friends…

...Who are there in no time. Junmyeon is the first one to bust the door down and run to Sehun who's almost fallen asleep against his brother. Sejin didn't realize that Sehun would be embarrassed of cuddling with his brother. After all, that isn't a standard procedure, but then again, neither is getting beat up.

"If that isn't the sweetest," Amber awws. Sejin leaves his brother alone and Sehun looks up at all his friends with a red face. They all look like they're beat up.

"Were you…?"

"Yeah. We were," Junmyeon says.

"But we weren't hospitalized!" Baekhyun says. 

"How many were after you?" Jungkook asks.

"Six," Sehun says. "I'm glad hyung and Dad noticed me. I would've been done for."

"Six?! I don't even know what to say. That's crazy," Baekhyun says.

Junmyeon caresses Sehun's hair and looks at him worriedly. "I'm just glad you're okay." Sehun looks up at him and it's like his eyes became heart-shaped.

That is, until Sejin steps next to Junmyeon and Sehun almost has a heart attack. He has never realized how similar his brother and his boyfriend look. They both even like anime…! And are complete nerds…!

Sehun smiles painfully. The resemblance between the two is the last thing he wants to think about at the moment. Junmyeon and Sejin look at each other and inspect each other's features. Sejin is much taller than Junmyeon, though.

"You must be Junmyeon. I haven't met you before," Sejin says, making Sehun squint and wonder what he's about to do. "But I've heard so much about you."

"You must be Sejin, then. I've heard a lot of you, too," Junmyeon laughs awkwardly. His face heats up and he looks at Sehun with pain in his eyes, like he begged Sehun to make this moment end somehow.

"Of course Sehun would talk about his favorite person in the whole wide world," Sejin teases. "What's he said? That he adores me?"

"...That you saved him from bullies in elementary school and that you cuddle?" Junmyeon answers. Baekhyun and Amber squint at their direction, then look at Sehun. They flash a smile at him. Sehun looks pained. He definitely did not want Baekhyun and Amber to know. Now he'll never hear the end of it.

Sejin sighs, "But I guess he has another cuddle buddy now," he says as he looks at Junmyeon from head to toe, making the other one laugh awkwardly. "I have my own cuddle buddy too. But Sehun gives the best cuddles. As you might know."

Sejin keeps making the situation weirder. Sehun contemplates life and notices how Yongsoo is eyeing both Sehun and Junmyeon with disgust in his eyes. Sehun looks down in embarrassment. At least Sejin keeps it PG.

"You're all going to visit me daily, right?" Sehun asks.

"You're not going to be here for long," Sejin says. "The nurse said that a week at max."

"Good. I don't want to be alone here. It's scary."

"Don't worry. We won't leave you," Junmyeon assures as he keeps petting Sehun's hair and Yongsoo leaves the room.


	16. Someone to Blame

\- November -

Sehun gets out of the hospital in under two weeks. He spent the night at Junmyeon's place before returning home, just laying in his arms comfortably and talking about what his family told him the first time he woke up in the hospital. Junmyeon was the best person to talk to, so good at listening, so good at putting away all his wants and needs in order to make Sehun feel good about himself. His embrace was warm. Sleeping in the same bed with him was warm.

Now Sehun is trying to find his next class. He just went to the restroom and Jungkook disappeared during that time. He's so anxious to go to class so he leaves Sehun behind all the time… Sehun never minds about being late. Sure the teachers complain, but he doesn't care.

On his way to class, he bumps into Minseok. The hallways are empty since all the students are in class already. Sehun can't pass him. His face heats up from anger the moment he sees the senior student and blood rushes into his head and fists. He would do just about anything if he could beat up Minseok right now - except, well, deal with the consequences.

"How was the hospital?" the senior asks with a monotone voice and a rude, bored expression on his face. Sehun grits his teeth.

"Come after me all you want. Leave my friends alone."

"I'm afraid that's not how things work. You see, your friends are as guilty as you are. They've all beat up my guys… and girls."

Sehun grits his teeth and stomps his feet, making him look like a child throwing a tantrum. Minseok eyes him from head to toes. He walks a little closer to the younger student, so that they are standing near to each other.

"Why six guys? Were you trying to kill me?"

"Of course not. I specifically told them not to kill you. I told them I would take you to the hospital myself if it looked like you wouldn't make it. Thankfully I didn't have to. You have a sweet big brother. I remember him…" 

"Frankly I don't believe you," Sehun huffs. "You've met him?"

"Knew him. We weren't in very close contact, since he despised me so much. But he was in high school just last year, wasn't he? He knew what was going on. But he didn't do anything about it. He just complied when I told him to hack one exam's results… Poor Jinyoung wouldn't have passed high school if he didn't  _ ace _ that exam…"

Sehun freezes. His brother has  _ helped _ Minseok? How could he? He's so going to throw a fit at home.

"Hyung wouldn't do that."

"Hyung would, and hyung did. All I had to do was threaten Yura."

"You're a horrible person. What happened to you? I know you used to be nice, you used to be Junmyeon's friend!" Sehun stomps his feet again, furrowing his eyebrows, face red from anger. He wants to smack Minseok so bad but he just got out from the hospital. His family wouldn't like it if he had to go there again… and use all his father's money for hospital bills.

Minseok leans closer and stares at his lips as he says with a low voice, "People aren't nice just because they were friends with a friend of yours. Besides, people change. Junmyeon changed. I changed."

"You can still change," Sehun tries, making Minseok utter a laughter and look at his eyes. They're so cold, so emotionless, so… dark… Sehun has never seen anything like it. Minseok's eyes are like an ocean, so mysterious, so endearing. His aura is cold and exciting, new and alluring… 

"Of course I can. And so can you. Do you think you're a hero or something? I don't know if that's super cute or super cringy. We all want to blame someone for all the bad things happening. And I have decided to blame you, just like you have decided to blame me."

"I… I haven't decided it… You just… are a bad person!"

Minseok leans even closer. Sehun takes a few steps behind and his back bumps into the lockers. Minseok leans even closer, so that their faces are only inches away from each other. Sehun doesn't know if this is his way of asserting dominance or if he's coming onto him.

"Am I? How do you know that? You're just believing it because that's what people tell you. Everybody, all around you, tell you what I am. But have you ever asked from me? Have you ever asked from any member of my gang? Have you ever asked anyone what kind of person Junmyeon is? Your parents must hate him. After all, isn't he the reason you got pulled into this mess, isn't he the reason why I'm after you, isn't he the reason you got beat up and sent to the hospital?"

"No! No, he's not! It was you! You did it! Junmyeon hasn't done anything wrong!"

"But none of this would have ever happened if you had never tried to save Junmyeon." Minseok's eyes are half-lidded and his body is pressed tightly against Sehun's, making the younger one unable to move. He despises Minseok, but at the same time… he feels very… tempting. "We used to be best friends for years. I know him better than you do, Sehun. I know what kind of a liar he is. I know he may seem sweet and kind and all those things, but that is until you finally realize what he's been after all that time. You're not special to him, Sehun. Junmyeon would say all those things to anyone who was willing to give him attention, he would pick any person willing to care about him. Just wait until you get in a fight with him. After all, you've told him everything, haven't you? And what do you know about him? And after that, he will glue himself to you and drain the rest of your sanity like a leech until you're nothing but an empty shell."

Sehun keeps his hands against the lockers and stares at Minseok intently. The older one seems genuinely upset, his face showing at least a million different emotions. Sehun breathes heavily. He doesn't know what to think. Junmyeon wouldn't do those things to him. No, he likes Sehun genuinely. He is his boyfriend.

Sehun starts shaking his head. "No. He's not like that. You're just trying to put me against him."

"Of course I am. But that's because everything I'm telling you is the truth. And… someone like you shouldn't be hurt by someone like him. All he wants is for you to be near him all the time… and he will never, ever let go of you. Even for a few seconds. He won't leave you alone."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"...You should be careful spending time with any of your other friends. Junmyeon has crazy ways of manipulating you and your friends to take some distance to each other."

"I asked. What do you want from me?" Sehun asks through gritted teeth. He's not listening to Minseok's crazy accusations. Minseok just smirks a little.

"All everybody wants. Just a little understanding and care." He grips Sehun's shoulders. "I want you to understand me, Sehun."

And with that he leaves, rushing to his next class. Sehun closes his eyes for a moment and tries to calm down. Minseok will come into his dreams. He's so scary… but Sehun shouldn't be scared. His words weren't true. Junmyeon wouldn't hurt him. Of course he wouldn't.

He contemplates going to the next class, but now that he's had a taste of what Minseok had to say, he doesn't really want to. He's too angry to go to class.

He goes right back into the restroom, hits the sink and whines about how it hurt his hand. Then he washes his face with cold water. He can't stop thinking about what Minseok just said. Junmyeon isn't a manipulator, it's Minseok! Minseok is a bad person. He's the villain. Sehun is the hero. He will save this school from Minseok.

***

"Minseok came to talk to me today," Sehun tells his friends. They're outside during recess, hanging out under the cherry tree. It's getting chilly. The sun is shining despite the cold.

"So that's why you didn't come to class," Jungkook says.

"What did he say?" Amber asks. Sehun has his arms crossed on his chest and he keeps looking at the ground.

"He kept saying things about Junmyeon… He said that you're a leech," Sehun says when looking up at Junmyeon. The latter looks worried. His face looks so gentle and kind, how could a person like that ever hurt anyone? "He said you say awful things if I do something you don't like."

"That's not right, Sehun. Besides, you… don't do things that I don't like. If you did, then I wouldn't even be here talking to you right now."

"How would I know?" Sehun asks. "Minseok knew you longer than I have."

"Sehun do you even listen to yourself?" Baekhyun asks when gripping Sehun's shoulders and shaking him. Sehun huffs and looks at the ground. "This is exactly what Minseok wants. Don't give it to him."

Junmyeon pushes Baekhyun away gently and they make brief eye contact. Junmyeon utters a smile to him before turning to Sehun, cupping his cheeks. Sehun glances at him and immediately regrets everything he just said.

"I know you're on edge. You should be. But think about how we spent the last Saturday together. Think about how much fun we had. Think about how I listened to you rant about your family for hours."

"Should I think about how you're going to hurt me, too?" 

"I've changed. I'm not the same person Minseok knew. I'm not going to hurt you. I would never forgive myself."

Sehun looks at him with big eyes. "Promise?"

"I promise. I'm not going to hurt you."

Sehun leans forward to wrap his arms around Junmyeon's neck and the older one embraces him back, soothing his back. Some people stare at them but Sehun doesn't mind.

"I won't let you go, and I won't hurt you," Junmyeon assures again with a silent voice, his lips pressed to Sehun's neck. 


	17. The Kissing Game

"Sehun, this is my friend Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, this is my boyfriend Sehun," Junmyeon introduces Sehun to the small teenage boy who bows deep. Sehun bows almost as deep. 

"It's nice to finally meet some of Junmyeon's friends," Sehun smiles. Kyungsoo keeps staring at him with big eyes and a blank expression. Sehun starts feeling uncomfortable and takes some distance to hide behind his boyfriend.

They're in Goyang at an anime convention. Lots of people are dressed up as some anime characters, including Kyungsoo and Junmyeon, who are cosplaying characters from Corpse Party. So Junmyeon said… but to Sehun they all look the same and he really doesn't know nor care what the character names were. Kyungsoo has neat, black hair and glasses on. He has a black school uniform and blue eye contacts. He looks pissed and scary.

Junmyeon went a little further. He dressed up as a female character. It makes Sehun seriously uncomfortable but Junmyeon kept saying that if he 'passes as female', then they can openly act like a couple. It still doesn't sit right with Sehun, because Junmyeon is dressed up like a little girl. He has silver black wig that's on two ponytails, loosely on the side. He also has bangs and blue eye contacts. He even has a bra with some stuffing, and some stupid blue pleated skirt, and white stockings that are almost up to his knees. He has an ungodly amount of makeup to make his facial features more feminine and eyes bigger. They both have some blood on their clothes, and Sehun thought it might've been a bit too much, in case there are kids there. Junmyeon just replied that they're all kids and that nobody under the age of 15 is allowed in.

Despite all that, there's quite a lot of people. Sehun didn't expect that much. Unfortunately the day is awful and it rains outside. Inside the hall, it's quite warm.

"Kyungsoo doesn't talk much, usually. Not even when he's drunk."

"I thought everyone's chatty when they're drunk," Sehun says, but Junmyeon just utters a laughter.

"Yixing should be here soon. She's going to travel to South Korea just for this one convention. I've never seen her IRL. It's gonna be awesome."

"And your other friends?"

"Minho, Taehyung, Taeyeon and Joohyun will come here soon," Junmyeon says, and just as he's going to keep talking, someone runs up to him, throws arms around him and lifts him up in the air. He lets out a scream that is something a woman could let out and Sehun pretends not to know them. Then he takes a good look around. Everyone here is as much a weeb as they are, so he doesn't have to be embarrassed.

Sejin would so love to be here.

"Minho!" Junmyeon screams when the man lets him down.

"Krhm," Minho coughs. "You mean Satoshi?"

"Of course. Satoshi," Junmyeon wraps his arms on his chest and rolls his eyes before hugging his friend.

"No hug for us?" a guy with blonde hair asks. He keeps his hands open and Junmyeon gives him a hug as well. The girl standing next to him makes Sehun almost scream and take some distance. The girl is dressed in red, blood all over her, her long, black hair tangled and her skin very light grey. She has some smudged eyeshadow around her eyes. Junmyeon gives her a hug as well. She smiles like she's in pain and very uncomfortable.

Another girl approaches them. Her hair is short and she has a weird blue dress on her and a hairband. She runs to hug all of them. Sehun just kind of idles there when Junmyeon is talking to his friends, asking how they've been. Kyungsoo is silent, so Sehun just stands silently next to him. He feels very left out.

And then there comes the Chinese, with her arms wide. She's also dressed in girls' uniform, her hair is brown and curled from the ends. Her body is way more masculine than Sehun expected, and she is taller than the two other girls. When she says "hi" her voice is high, but at the same time it sounds kind of masculine. Sehun lets it go. It's not like he's never seen masculine and tall girls before. Junmyeon hugs her the tightest.

"It's so good to finally see you," he says.

"You too. You know, I would've never had the courage to wear this dress if you didn't wear one, too." Her accent is a little funny. Junmyeon hugs her tighter. Sehun just now pays attention to how well she has put on makeup. Then Yixing goes to Kyungsoo who smiles for the first time, blushing a little. She says something before they hug each other very sweetly.

Junmyeon takes a little distance and decides to showcase his boyfriend.

"This is my boyfriend, Sehun," he says to them all before starting to say their names one at a time. "These are Kyungsoo, Yixing, Minho, Taehyung, Joohyun and Taeyeon. They are… some of the people I've talked to online."

Sehun bows to them all before he's practically attacked by the group.

"He is so cute!" Taehyung dares say and look at Sehun from head to toes. "You know, if you and Junmyeon don't work out…"

"Not gonna happen, Taehyung," Junmyeon huffs.

"You two look so cute together," Taeyeon says. She already has her arm behind Joohyun's, the creepy girl's, back.

"Junmyeon has talked so much about you," Yixing says with a sweet voice. Sehun blushes and awkwardly scratches his neck.

***

The rest of the day goes with them touring around the place. There's even a contest, but none of them won it. Sehun doesn't understand anything that's going on, he just follows his boyfriend who keeps holding his hand firmly. Sehun almost feels like he's in a hetero relationship. It makes him feel very uneasy.

In the evening they go to Kyungsoo's place, all of them. Kyungsoo lives alone with his parents and they don't happen to be home. That's why they're going to have a party with just eight of them. Taeyeon, the only one of age, buys them some alcohol. After all, what would a party without alcohol be?

They sit in a circle in the living room. The light is dim, slightly orange. The curtains are closed so that nobody can see. Everybody has their own bottle of alcohol which they have to pay to Taeyeon. Even Sehun got himself a drink on Junmyeon. Junmyeon, of course, pays almost all of their drinks. He just gives them money like it was no big deal. He even gives Taeyeon some extra for being a good girl and fetching them drinks.

Sehun takes a sip of the mojito. It tastes good, but it burns his throat so he stops for a while.

"Don't drink too much or you'll end up hurting yourself," Junmyeon says, takes a sip of his beer. Junmyeon loses all credibility as female when he throws away his wig, takes off his contacts, puts on his glasses and gulfs beer with ease. He keeps the skirt and the breasts, though. He places a kiss on Sehun's cheek and Sehun smiles faintly to himself. He notices Taehyung staring at them.

"We should play the kissing game," Taehyung suddenly says.

"Why do you want to make out with my boyfriend?" Junmyeon asks with a chuckle and Taehyung just smirks.

"I didn't consent to this," Sehun says.

"We should play truth or dare first, so Sehun can get to know you all a bit better," Junmyeon suggests. They all agree and say that they would love to know more about Sehun, too.

Taeyeon takes the alcoholic soda bottle that she had already downed and places it in the middle of them all. "I'll start with the first question. The last one who the bottle stopped to should come up with the next one's truth or dare, and if they don't, someone else can do it for them." Then she spins the bottle.

It ends up pointing at Sehun. He's ready for anything. "Truth."

"Who's the most important person in your life?" Taeyeon asks. Taehyung groans, so she quickly huffs back at him. "We can't start with something like 'what's your favorite position'."

"Okay," Taehyung rolls his eyes.

"The most important person in my life is my big brother," Sehun replies honestly and with no hesitation. 

"That's so cute," Joohyun coos. Sehun smiles shyly before spinning the bottle. It ends up pointing at Minho. Sehun is kind of shy to come up with any question.

"Wh… who's your favorite superhero?"

Minho chuckles, "I was expecting something like this from what Junmyeon has told us about you. I don't have a favorite superhero. Except, well, maybe my mom."

"Boring!" Taehyung laughs and kicks Minho. "Mama's boy!"

"I love my mother," Minho raises his finger. Sehun relaxes a little around them. Kyungsoo and Taehyung just make him a little uncomfortable. Minho spins the bottle and it points at Joohyun. "Tell us what happened with Seulgi… that night that you won't talk about."

Joohyun smiles a little to herself before squinting her eyes at Minho.

"Alright… Well… You know… Seulgi is my ex," she says while looking at Sehun. "We used to be together for quite a few months, almost a year, until things just kind of went downhill… She got so obsessed with this one new girl in her class that she didn't want to spend so much time with me. And now, almost a year later, she has been texting me and telling me how sorry she is, that it was just a crush and that she loves  _ me _ , that she doesn't want to live without me. And… we went on a date… and one thing led to another and we ended up going to my room and… you know… making out and talking about things…" 

"So are you back together with her?" Taeyeon asks. Joohyun nods and smiles to herself.

"I love her."

"Don't let her hurt you again," Minho worries. She shakes her head.

"I won't. I'm stronger, older and wiser now." She spins the bottle and it points at Taehyung.

"No lame questions! I want to spill the tea," he says. Joohyun rolls her eyes.

"Alright. What do you think of Sehun?"

"Pff," Taehyung blushes a little and looks away. "He's cute. If Junmyeon wasn't his boyfriend then I'd totally tap that."

Sehun blinks a few times. What does tapping that even mean? What does he actually want to do to him? Junmyeon wraps a possessive arm around Sehun's waist and kisses his neck, making him wince.

"He's mine," Junmyeon says with the lowest voice he's able to utter. It sends shivers down Sehun's spine.

"Okay, princess," Taehyung says sarcastically before spinning the bottle. It points at Kyungsoo. "What do you think of Yixing now that you saw her IRL?"

Kyungsoo turns to Yixing who blushes. He smiles sweetly and stares at her while she tries to hide her face and refrain from grinning like crazy.

"She's beautiful," he says. They all aww to them. Sehun is quick to realize the chemistry between Yixing and Kyungsoo. The small boy spins the bottle and it points at Junmyeon. "What's your biggest fear?"

"Fear?" Junmyeon asks, looking at all of them alternatively. "Hmm… I think… losing the people who are closest to me… All of you… and my little brother…" He takes a sip of his beer before spinning the bottle. It points at Taeyeon. "Who's your current crush?"

Taeyeon smiles mischievously, "You," then she laughs and shakes her head when Junmyeon squints his eyes. "I've actually been talking to this one guy online… He lives in Jeju, though… But there's also… you know… this one American girl… I've been talking to her for months now, but I haven't told any of you because I don't think there's any way we could be together at this point of our lives. She can't move here and I can't move there… and as much as I like her, I don't think I could leave Korea even to study abroad. I would miss all of you…"

"Bros before hoes," Minho dares say, making the melancholic girl chuckle once before spinning the bottle once again. It points at Sehun again. "Describe your first kiss."

"When did this game become just us asking truths?" Sehun asks awkwardly and they all look at each other with amusement in their eyes before starting to laugh.

"It always happens to us," Taeyeon assures.

"Oh," Sehun laughs awkwardly and scratches his neck. "My first kiss was with my best friend… in a truth or dare game... two months ago…"

"Two months ago?! Baby!" Minho gasps. "I had my first kiss when I was like five, in kindergarten by some girl who had a crush on me and decided that fuck it we're doing it."

"I didn't have my first kiss before I dated some guy when I was like fifteen… I really liked him at that time. It was magical," Taeyeon says and sighs deeply, looking at the ceiling dreamily. "He was like my prince charming."

"I tried girls when I was eleven, twelve… I was quite the playboy until I finally accepted that pussy just wasn't my thing," Taehyung explains. "I was sixteen before I kissed a guy for the first time. So… that was a year ago. And that was Junmyeon, as many of you may remember..."

"You and Taehyung…?" Sehun asks, confused, from his boyfriend who chuckles.

"He was desperate," Junmyeon explains.

"So were you!" Taehyung reminds him. "And just a little drunk. And it was just a little experimental."

"Oh…" Sehun feels slightly weird that Taehyung and Junmyeon have made out. He wants to ask if they went further but he's not sure if he could take the answer if it's positive.

"I was like a girl version of Taehyung. Had a lot of boyfriends ever since I was a kid… I don't even remember when I had my first boyfriend… I was probably seven? And then I just kind of went with it, until at some party we played the kissing game, and so me and my friends at the time ended up making out with each other," Joohyun tells with a smile on her lips as she reminisces back to those days. "I just thought that kissing girls was way nicer."

"I had a boyfriend," Yixing then speaks up. "He was sweet. Also transgender… We were together for three whole years. We started when we both were in the closet, when I was thirteen and he was fourteen. Then we came out to each other… Nowadays he's still one of my best friends."

"I've never kissed anyone outside our kissing game," Kyungsoo confesses. "I don't know if that counts. The first time we played this weird game was about two cons ago. Which is almost a year from now."

"I didn't expect all of you to open up about your first kisses," Sehun says honestly. All of them grin and most of them take a sip of their drinks.

"I need to be more drunk!" Taehyung screams. Sehun drinks to that before spinning the bottle. It points at Yixing. "Finally! Everyone's had their innocent truth, after Yixing we're going to start the fun round. And then we're gonna play the kissing game."

"We can probably guess who's the kisser by the taste on their lips," Junmyeon points out when looking at their bottles.

"What does transgender mean?" Sehun asks from Yixing who laughs nervously.

"You don't know? That's not a truth or dare question," she says.

"Look it up online," Taehyung says.

"I'll ask a truth or dare question if you explain it to me…" Yixing is seemingly uncomfortable with the question and Sehun feels ashamed that he asked. "Actually. Never mind. I can search online."

"No, no, I can tell you… I don't want you to come across some not nice people. It just means that I was born physically male… but my mind has always been the mind of a woman," Yixing explains kindly. She smiles very sweetly. Sehun blinks a few times. "So I'm a transgender woman… my ex-boyfriend is a transgender man. It means he was born physically female with the mind of a man."

Sehun didn't know there was a word for that. "Oh. It makes sense. I'm glad you told me. I'm sorry if it felt a little personal…" 

"Trust me, I've heard worse," she smiles.

"For what it's worth, I think you look like a pretty woman," Sehun says honestly and she closes her eyes.

"Thank you."

"Anyway… that truth…" Sehun says awkwardly when scratching the back of his neck. He can feel all their eyes on him, maybe judging him, maybe not, he's not sure if he crossed some line by asking Yixing about her gender identity. "Do you have a crush on Kyungsoo?"

Yixing turns to the small boy on her left and they lock eye contact for a while. Then she looks away and just nods, her face red. Kyungsoo is as red. He has a blank look on his face and he looks like he's trying to suppress his emotions.

"Ah! So cute! Just date already!" Taeyeon squeals. Now a little smile creeps up on Kyungsoo's lips.

Yixing spins the bottle and it points at Taehyung.

"Now, let's skip the lame questions! Round two is for dirty stuff," he exclaims.

"Okay," Yixing agrees, "top or bottom?"

"Aish you can't ask a question like that. I'm not experienced enough to know. Maybe I'm just a switch," Taehyung replies honestly.

"If you're a switch then can I push you?" Junmyeon asks. "Preferably off a building?" That makes all his friends laugh, but Taehyung just snorts before spinning the bottle. It points at Sehun - again.

"What's your favorite position?"

Sehun blinks a few times and looks at the ceiling. That's an odd question.

"I prefer… laying… down…" he says and that makes all of them laugh hard.

"Who's your wet daydream?" Taehyung asks before Sehun is able to even touch the bottle to spin it.

"I thought we had just one question…" 

"Your innocence is amusing," Taehyung explains when leaning on his arms and staring at Sehun with a huge grin on his face. They're all tipsy and therefore laughing at everything.

"He's my baby," Junmyeon says when hugging Sehun tightly, pressing him against his shoulder and kissing his head.

"Let's just skip to the kissing game!" Taeyeon jumps excitedly when sipping her drink. She takes the bottle and spins it. It points at Minho. He is soon blindfolded with a random red bandana Kyungsoo has in his house.

"Okay… bring it on," Minho says when biting his lips once and for some reason flexing his muscles, which are pretty impressive. He has thrown away his jacket long ago and his muscles are well defined under the dress shirt.

Taeyeon spins the bottle again and it points at Kyungsoo. Without a word Kyungsoo gets up silently and presses a kiss on Minho's lips, very gently, but also for longer than just a second. The kiss lasts about five seconds.

Sehun gets stiff. Just now he's realizing what he's getting himself into.

Kyungsoo sits down and Yixing, who's sitting beside Minho, takes the bandana off him. Minho goes through all them and looks at their lips one at a time.

"A-ha!" he says. "It's Kyungsoo."

"You always beat this," Taehyung says. It's Minho's turn to spin the bottle. It points at Joohyun. She is blindfolded. Then he spins the bottle again… And it points at Sehun. The boy practically panics when the other teens try to keep in their chuckles and stare at him slowly make his way to Joohyun. He mimics what Kyungsoo did. Her lips are so different from Junmyeon and Jungkook's. They're much softer, much more delicate, much sweeter and… just overall… different. So feminine.

He retreats and goes back to his place when Taeyeon pulls away the bandana. Joohyun looks at them all and she stares at Sehun who's blushing and doesn't dare to look at her. She starts pointing at him.

"It was Sehun. You're not used to this," she giggles. "Don't worry. You'll get the hang of it in no time."

Sehun nods once and glances at her, but he can't but feel awkward. Maybe he wasn't meant for these kinds of games. Junmyeon just places a kiss on his cheek and whispers in his ear, "It's just a game. Let's enjoy it."

Joohyun spins the bottle. It points at Kyungsoo. He is blindfolded. She spins again. It points at Yixing. She smiles sweetly before leaning in to kiss Kyungsoo, but instead of keeping it sweet and innocent, she's really going at it and so is he. They all raise their eyebrows and start cheering when the couple keeps going until almost half a minute has gone. She takes some distance and Kyungsoo immediately breathes out "Yixing" which would be very awkward if it wasn't Yixing. The girl chuckles and takes off the bandana and leans forward to kiss Kyungsoo again, now without him being blindfolded. They all aww until Taehyung starts poking them, gesturing them to stop immediately.

Kyungsoo spins the bottle and it points at Taeyeon. He spins again, and it so happens that Joohyun and Taeyeon get to kiss. They end up making out like this was their millionth kiss and for all they know, it could be.

Sehun just wonders how good they are at this game. Finally the bottle chooses him and he's blindfolded. The person kissing him feels like it's a man. His lips are soft and smell like booze. He keeps the kiss innocent.

When the kiss is over, Sehun looks at all of them and doesn't know what to think. He looks at all their lips. "It wasn't a girl and it wasn't Junmyeon," he says as he keeps looking at Minho and Kyungsoo alternatively. He decides that it's Kyungsoo, but he's not right. Minho laughs and spins the bottle. It points at Junmyeon. Junmyeon lets out a breath, "Finally," and he's blindfolded. Then Minho spins the bottle again and it points at Taehyung.

Taehyung starts the kiss innocently and sweetly, but it doesn't take long for them both to start to practically eat each other's faces. The others start cheering, but Sehun's heart drops immediately. He knows this is just a game, but Junmyeon and Taehyung seem to have perfect chemistry. Their bodies and lips move in unison, they move like they were one.

Sehun just can't take it. He gets up and goes into the kitchen to sit at the table and just try to calm down. He hasn't liked this Taehyung guy at all. He's just a sex-crazed idiot who wants in Junmyeon's pants. And Junmyeon was the first guy he kissed. Did they fuck, too? It makes Sehun so uneasy. He wants to be the most important person to Junmyeon, the only one who can kiss him, the only one who can hold him. He's never felt like this before. He doesn't get jealous over people so easily. Maybe it's because he's never had to be jealous? He's never had to fight for his father or brother's attention and his best friend's always there for him. Amber and Baekhyun aren't as close to him and they have their own thing, Sehun isn't too jealous about them either.

But seeing Junmyeon and Taehyung have that kind of chemistry just makes him mad.

"Sehun? Baby?" Junmyeon calls out for his boyfriend as he walks into the kitchen. He sits next to Sehun.

"What?" Sehun huffs.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine."

"It's just a game, Sehun," Junmyeon says with a sweet voice and pats his back but Sehun pushes his hand away.

"Have you and Taehyung done it?" he suddenly asks. Junmyeon is bewildered.

"Me and Taehyung? Well, yeah, but that was a year ago, before I even knew you," he says.

"Maybe you should've thought how I feel about you two kissing right in front of my eyes," Sehun huffs, crossing his arms on his chest. Junmyeon becomes furious over this.

"Or maybe you're just being way too sensitive about it. I know I'm your first love and the first guy you've ever been interested in and therefore you don't know how to handle the fact that you're not my first, you're not my one and only and I'm not as self-conscious about my sexual identity as you are," Junmyeon snaps, making Sehun's heart sink in his chest. He turns to look at Junmyeon whose eyebrows are furrowed. He looks weird with all that makeup… But it's not hard to take him seriously. "It took all of us time to learn to accept ourselves but you're not even trying. It's been months, Sehun,  _ months _ , and you're still here crying about your daddy not accepting you. You know, Joohyun was straight up abandoned and disowned by her parents when they found out. And you still talk about your daddy every single week and I'm so sick of listening to it! Can't you complain about something else for change, like your mother, or your brother? Maybe even Jungkook? Because he has some great fucking issues! You don't even listen to your best friend when he's getting beat up by his father, because you're so worked up over your daddy not accepting and loving unconditionally every part of your being! And then fail to realize that any of us would do literally anything to have a father like yours!"

Junmyeon snaps out of it when he sees Sehun sobbing and hiding his face. Taehyung is also in the kitchen, he got there in the middle of Junmyeon's rant in case he needed to calm Sehun down.

"Snap out of it, Junmyeon. I thought these outbursts were over," he says. "Sehun has all the right to be upset. I crossed a line and didn't even consider how he might feel."

Junmyeon sits down and leans on the table while trying to collect himself. Sehun sobs violently. When Junmyeon finally gets himself together, he comes closer to Sehun to rub his back but the younger one pulls away from the touch, leaving the other hanging.

"Sehun, I'm… I'm sorry… you have all the right to be upset about your father, I just- I don't know what got into me," he says and tries to get closer. "Maybe I'm just… too worked up over my own parents and… try to pretend I'm not upset about how they treat me and expect others to lie the way I do."

Sehun suddenly thinks back to what Minseok said to him just a couple weeks ago.

_ Just wait until you get in a fight with him. After all, you've told him everything, haven't you? And what do you know about him? _

"Minseok said-" Sehun cries but Junmyeon cuts him off immediately.

"Minseok? You really believe Minseok's words over mine?" 

"-that I'm not special, that you would pick any person who's willing to care about you."

Junmyeon and Taehyung glance at each other.

"Wasn't Minseok supposed to be like a villain?" Taehyung asks, now sitting on the other side of Sehun. For some reason his presence doesn't bother Sehun at all. "Minseok is a bad guy. He's done bad things. His words are not true. Whatever he's told you about Junmyeon, it's not true. You're special to him. I don't think anyone has ever made him feel the way you do, and I can tell that by just looking at him. Whenever we talk online, the only thing he talks about is you. You're something different. Something innocent and pure and naive that really makes us all want to protect you with all our lives."

Sehun pants, "R-really? How am I innocent and naive? I-I've beaten up p-people."

"You beat them up because they hurt other people," Taehyung reasons. "Because you're the savior that other people are too afraid to be. You don't take into consideration how hurt you might get in the process."

"...I just want to help people…" Sehun sobs, now finally lowering his hands after wiping his tears with his sleeves, still sniffling. Taehyung smiles at him.

"The world could use a lot more people like you," he says and Sehun smiles a little to himself before he's embraced by his boyfriend. Junmyeon doesn't give him a lot of space to breathe.

"One baby Sehunnie is enough for me," he says and places a kiss on Sehun's head. Sehun finally pulls his arms around Junmyeon, too. "Maybe we should get you to bed. I'll sleep next to you."

"Can we cuddle?"

"Of course," Junmyeon smiles and places a kiss on his cheek. "I'll protect you from the creepy Taehyung."

Taehyung glares at him before smiling goofily while looking at their sweet hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y i k e it's been almost three weeks. I swear I'll update on Sunday again.  
> I'm sorry folks. Real life happened. Who knew university could be so stressful


	18. Merry

\- December -

Junmyeon is laying half on top of Sehun, their torsos pressed together on the rich kid's bed. The older one is pressing Sehun's arms against the mattress and kissing him intently, sucking his lower lip and brushing his tongue over it before Sehun opens his mouth. They've never kissed with tongue before and it makes the younger one both excited and terrified, mostly because he has no idea what's going on.

But he loves it. It doesn't matter if it's a bit weird. Nothing is awkward with Junmyeon. They could do just about anything and Sehun wouldn't mind. He loves it how Junmyeon has pinned him down and made him feel helpless, taken control over him and is being overly possessive and dominant. It gives chills down his body, makes butterflies fly in his stomach and blood rush down to his bottom. He doesn't know if he should give in to the feeling or to restrict himself. He's still too inexperienced and doesn't know how the hell things work in practice, especially between two guys. He knows what happens in theory, but in theory he also thought he knew how kissing would feel and it turned out to be everything else.

He moans into the kiss when Junmyeon's tongue explores his mouth. Soon the older one takes his hand off Sehun's arm and pushes it under his shirt, touching his stomach and go up to his chest, accidentally grazing over the other's bulge and making Sehun wince. He can barely breathe anymore but he doesn't want the kiss to end because then he has to face Junmyeon or something.

When Junmyeon pulls away, he starts sucking his boyfriend's neck and raising his shirt. Sehun is on the verge of crying when his boyfriend grips his waist firmly and starts kissing his chest, proceeding to suck on his nipple. Sehun covers his mouth and whimpers when the feeling is too much. Junmyeon's body is only slightly touching his bulge but Sehun doesn't even need to be touched properly (or maybe even at all) in order to cum. He has shut his eyes tight and covered his mouth with tears in his eyes when his body twitches once and he can feel the wetness in his pants and his dick pulsating.

Junmyeon pulls away slightly and looks up at him. He hovers over Sehun and places a kiss on his forehead.

"Sehun, did you…" The younger one immediately covers his whole face that's about to burn right the hell off and turns on his side, trying to make himself small. Junmyeon chuckles once before turning to face him, trying to get him to show him his face. "Oh my god, you're so cute." He is very close and Sehun can feel his breath on his hands. "Hey, it's okay. It happens. Especially if you've never done this before."

Sehun slowly and reluctantly pulls his hands away from his face. He's slightly teary from embarrassment and his face is red, but he shows his face to his boyfriend anyway. He keeps staring at him and his heart feels like it's beating a million times faster and it just feels so… full. Sehun isn't sure if it's what he thinks it is or if it's just because he just came, either way, he decides to say it.

"I love you." Junmyeon chuckles awkwardly and nervously to that before just kissing Sehun. The latter doesn't know what to think of that, but he takes it as 'I love you too' and kisses him back.

When they pull back, Sehun says with a sweet and insecure voice, "You should come to my place when it's Christmas."

"Hm? Why?" Junmyeon asks and boops Sehun's nose. They just lay there, staring at each other, their bodies pressed together.

"Because I want to tell my family that you're my boyfriend."

"Isn't that a bit risky? I mean, with your father and all…" Sehun shakes his head immediately.

"No. He wouldn't do anything bad to my friends," he says but Junmyeon immediately worries.

"I'm not worried about him doing something bad to me. I'm just worried about how he might react and what he might do to you later," he says as he caresses Sehun's hair, the other one's eyes as hearts.

"What's the worst he could do? Avoid me?" Sehun asks, making Junmyeon seemingly uncomfortable.

"It's crazy how easily parents can abandon their children when something's different about them."

"Is… that what happened with Joohyun?"

"...She and her parents were pretty close. Until they found out. They straight up threw her out the house," Joonmyun sighs. Now Sehun is immediately worried.

"But… but… Dad already knows how I feel… and… and he loves me…"

"Love's a tricky thing," Junmyeon says as he pushes Sehun on his back and hovers over him again, pinning his hands above his head. Sehun blushes and looks up at him with big and innocent eyes. "Anyway… Do you wanna cum again?"

Sehun blushes a deeper shade of red. His boyfriend seems to be enjoying this, as a big grin creeps on his face and he gives Sehun a gentle but wet kiss.

"...I… I-I don't think I… c-can…" the younger one gulps, trying to look as small as possible. He's still not over the last one and his throat is so dry. Junmyeon chuckles before placing a kiss on his lips again.

"I won't force you into anything you don't want… but accidents happen," he says and smiles as he pulls Sehun's shirt back up again and kisses his stomach up to his chest. Sehun doesn't know why Junmyeon likes adoring his body this way, but he doesn't mind. It makes him slightly embarrassed but it turns him on more than he would like to admit. Besides, Junmyeon asked very nicely before their make out session if he could do this, and Sehun said yes immediately.

***

"Mom, Dad... This is my boyfriend Junmyeon," Sehun introduces him to his family who is gathered in the living room, watching some drama. Sejin would have better things to do but he's just not feeling like it, so he's also watching the stupid drama that Jangmi is enjoying a bit too much, biting her nails and leaning in towards the TV. Just a while back Sehun was sitting there with them, saying that he has a special guest, and waited anxiously for his love to arrive. "You already saw each other at the hospital, but I wanted to introduce you…"

"Hi," Junmyeon says and bows. Yongsoo is sitting on the couch, his arms crossed on his chest and he keeps staring at Junmyeon, examining him from head to toes. Sehun can hear Junmyeon gulp audibly and smile very awkwardly. 

"Hello," Sejin smiles at him. Junmyeon looks at him weirdly and he looks at him as weirdly back, Sehun understanding that they know they look and are alike. But, unlike Junmyeon, Sejin isn't like he had a stick up his ass whenever he talks to strangers. "Mom and Dad are pretty occupied with this drama. Don't worry about them."

Sejin stands up and the three of them go into the kitchen. Yongsoo keeps looking at Junmyeon until he's out of his sight and keeps commenting about how stupid the drama is, Jangmi shushing him and saying that he's been awfully grumpy lately.

Sejin immediately gives a talking to to his little brother, shout-whispering the words. "Are you crazy? Dad's already on edge with you."

"I just wanted to show them my boyfriend!" Sehun stomps his foot on the ground. Sejin sighs deeply and looks at the awkward boyfriend.

"I'm sorry if you didn't get the reaction you wanted. Mom and Dad won't even bother to look away from the TV. It's Mom's favorite drama and Dad likes pointing out everything that's wrong with it."

"It's… okay, I guess," Junmyeon says. Sehun is disappointed but not surprised. They're not whisper-screaming anymore. "Cool Fullmetal Alchemist shirt, by the way."

"Thanks. I got it from my girlfriend," Sejin says, showcasing his shirt that's a little too big. He's very skinny and has gotten even skinnier in the past year, so the shirt makes him look tiny, even if he is almost 190 centimeters. "She's a total otaku."

"Really? My friends and I went to an anime convention just a month ago. Sehun was there, too," Junmyeon says enthusiastically and Sejin already smiles knowingly.

"I know, Sehun couldn't stop talking about how he would meet all your friends," the big brother says. "And he had no idea how to dress so he asked me how to. Isn't that adorable?"

"Yes," Junmyeon smiles widely and pinches Sehun's cheek. "He is adorable."

Sehun feels very attacked and decides to be a bitch about it.

"I'm not adorable…" he says. But his bitching has proved to be ineffective, because Sejin takes him into a tight hug and squishes their cheeks together.

"Yes you are! My cute little Hunnie," he says and suddenly Sehun blushes. This is literally the second time Junmyeon has seen Sejin and that's how he's acting. Though, that's just how Sejin is. It seems he has little restrictions when he's surrounded by the right people.

"I have a brother too. I guess Sehun has already told about it, too…" Junmyeon says and Sejin immediately nods, still hugging his little brother who's trying to break free. "I wish we were as close as you two."

"Being a big brother is a hard task. Especially if your little brother is a brat who keeps getting in trouble," Sejin confesses, making Sehun huff.

"I wouldn't know. Me and my brother are very calm and introverted," Junmyeon says.

"I am, too. I wish Sehunnie was." Then he lets him go. "If you ever hurt my baby brother, I am going to have to kill you."

"I figured as much," Junmyeon says, nods and smiles it off.

"Anyway. I'm probably going back to the living room and maybe try and calm down Dad. I just wish he would go back to being himself. Ever since Sehun has been getting into this gang business, he's been… different," Sejin says sadly but smiles it off. "Okay. See you later."

"See ya," Junmyeon says. Sejin leaves. Sehun leads Junmyeon into his room. His room that he's never actually seen before. He's been in Sehun's home only once and that didn't include a tour of the house.

They plop down on the bed immediately, as is the tradition, and stare at each other. Junmyeon also keeps looking at all the posters and figurines that he has.

"You… really like superheroes," he laughs.

"Yeah… They make me feel better."

"Do all these posters and figurines make you feel better?"

"They motivate me. To be a better person. To help people. To be the hero people need." Sehun suddenly reaches for his comic collection in the corner of his room, in many, many boxes. Junmyeon's jaw drops when he sees the amount of paper. "These are all the comics I have. Sejin bought me like a million my last birthday and I've already read them all…"

"Your birthday was in April. You've had plenty of time," Junmyeon points out. Sehun huffs.

"I don't read as much as you do. And I… haven't actually read anything else, too. I could read some of your stories, though."

"Oh… You probably wouldn't like them. They're fanfiction… But I can show you some of my original character writings. In fact, I've started a new story not too long ago, and the main character is definitely inspired by you."

"By me? Really?"

"Yeah. You're so cute and naive and innocent and so… brave. Honestly almost every fantasy story's main character is you."

"Oh…" Sehun smiles and blushes a little. Then he goes on to show some of his favorite comics, laying next to him on the bed and reading it together. "Me and Jungkook do this whenever he comes over. We just read comics…"

It looks like Junmyeon has a question on his mind, but he decides to not say it. Maybe it's better that way.

***

Junmyeon leaves in the evening, saying that he needs to meet his parents at the dinner. It's kind of like a Christmas tradition, even if they don't celebrate Christmas. Of course they kissed at the door (inside the house) before Junmyeon left.

And of course Sehun goes into the living room to his lovely family to seek for their approval. His father is quick to judge, "I knew it. The way you two looked at each other at the hospital, it wasn't normal."

"Define normal, Dad," Sejin chimes in.

"Normal is… when a man likes a woman. That's normal."

"You weren't acting very  _ normal  _ around him today, either. You just stared at him," Sehun says.

"I just… It just makes me uncomfortable."

"You have to ask yourself," Sejin starts, "are you uncomfortable with it because Sehun is gay or because he's your baby boy who's growing up? When I told you about Yura, you weren't exactly thrilled about the thought of me being in a relationship either."

"Well maybe it's… a little both. Jangmi, don't you have anything to say? He's your son, too."

Jangmi leaves the room without a word. Sehun's lip starts quivering and tears start brimming in his eyes.

"Have I been… distant?" Yongsoo asks all of a sudden while staring at the TV. "I heard from someone that a son who has a distant relationship with his father becomes attracted to men…"

"If that was true then I would be the straightest man on earth," Sehun says before finally breaking in tears. "I miss you."

He hides his face and runs up into his room. He hears his father and brother starting to yell at each other loudly. Sejin would never let this slide and Sehun loves him for it.

Sehun hides under the covers and tries to stop the tears. He misses his father so much. He misses hugging him, telling him everything and just loving him. The love his boyfriend and brother give him don't replace the love and acceptance he wants and needs from Yongsoo who's too worked up with his own worries. What he's actually worrying about, Sehun doesn't understand.

Soon enough the yelling ends. There's been way more of that lately, always between Sejin and Yongsoo, usually about Sehun. Those two could conjure up a fight about almost anything, though.

There's a knock on the door, but the person knocking doesn't wait for a reply. He doesn't even say anything as he walks inside and sits beside the boy, starting to rub his shoulder.

"Dad will come around eventually," Sejin says with a sweet voice. "In the meantime, don't blame yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You can't control who you are attracted to. Besides, Junmyeon seems like a cool guy. I love him already."

"You two are so alike it's kinda… weird," Sehun confesses and sniffles. Sejin utters a laughter.

"We tend to look for friends and partners that remind us of our family."

Sehun sniffles once more before turning and looking up at his brother with big, teary eyes. Sejin smiles at him sweetly and starts caressing his hair lovingly, making the little brother feel not so horrible.

"It's Dad who taught us we should be open about our feelings," Sehun says with a sob and looks at his brother's lap. "But now he's being really closed off."

"For some parents… it takes a while until they come around."

"But Dad's always been around. Why isn't he now?" Sehun asks sweetly. "I miss him."

"I know. I do too." Sehun lifts himself up to sit and hug his brother who immediately wraps his arms around him, patting his head. "I have a guy friend who likes guys, too. He has a boyfriend. You know, if you sometimes want to talk about something or ask something that you can't ask me for some gay reason-" Sejin jokes, making Sehun punch him slightly, "then you could talk to him. His father wasn't very supportive of him in the beginning either, but once he understood that it's not something he can change, he slowly started to accept him. Now his father is the sweetest old man who supports his oldest son fully."

"...I'll think about it… but… how long did it take for him to accept him…?"

"Around a year, I think," Sejin says and Sehun immediately starts crying harder, gripping his brother's shirt and shaking. Sejin hugs him tighter. "It's okay… I'm here. And, you know… if Dad never accepts it, then… don't wait for him to do so. I'm sure he will, eventually, but if for some reason he never comes around… then don't let him upset you. It's your life."

Sehun hides himself in the crook of Sejin's neck and keeps on sobbing violently.

"Everything's gonna be okay. I promise."


	19. All You Talk About

\- January -

"You got into a fight again?!" Yongsoo yells, throwing his hands in the air and starting to point his finger at his youngest son who just came home from school, again looking like a beat up thug. "That's it. I'm going to take your laptop until you show some sign of respect."

"Why are you being like this?" Sehun asks, walking into the kitchen to grab something to eat. He's starving after the fight he was just in. Yongsoo follows him, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms on his chest.

"You know, maybe Junmyeon isn't such good company to you," he says and Sehun is fuming.

"You're saying that just because he's my boyfriend!"

"A boyfriend who's leading you astray!"

"Oh, would you please show me the right way, then?!"

"Sure! Dump him! And stop fighting!"

"I can't dump him, I love him!" Sehun screams so loud that the neighbors hear. He eats his bread aggressively as his father's eyes widen and he makes a weird look on his face.

"Love him? That's a big word," he says and sounds concerned. "Have you had sex?"

Sehun crunches his face and throws his hands in the air, shaking his head vigorously, "What- No! How does that correlate with anything?!"

"I don't know. People say crazy things after losing their virginity to someone."

"I haven't lost my- why are you like this? What if I will do it with him? You can't stop me!"

"You can't have sex with a man. It's… unsanitary and… disgusting and… you don't even know how to!"

"Well, yeah, I don't. But he does."

"That's it. He won't lay his filthy hands on you, I won't allow it. You're not going to see him anymore. Ever. Again," Yongsoo intimidates, looking at his son with a concerned look on his face. It makes Sehun's face red from anger and he clenches his fists. If only he could punch his father straight in his face. If he didn't love his father as much as he does and hoped for him to start being himself again, he would. He would hit his father so hard.

"I fucking hate you! You're a fucking idiot!" he yells from the bottom of his lungs and throws a pack of rice that was just sitting on the table at his father. Yongsoo hides his face just so it doesn't hit his eyeglasses. "Now I understand why Sejin hates you!"

Yongsoo places the pack of rice on the table with an aggressive hit and then starts pointing his finger at Sehun, face all scrunched.

"If you ever throw anything at me ever again, Sehun, I'm going to do something that my father would have done to me if I ever did something like that," he says with such a scary tone in his voice that Sehun feels chills down his body. He glares at his father before pouting, looking down at the floor and running upstairs to his room. Yongsoo stays silent and just sighs deeply, facepalming at himself.

Sehun throws his room's door close so loud that the door almost falls off its hinges. Then he changes his clothes as aggressively, takes his earphones, plugs them to his MP3-player, falls on the bed and listens to the most aggressive songs that he has on his playlist. Ones that preferably tell about killing someone. It's hard for him to stay put, however, so he takes his pillow and starts smacking it against the headboard, sometimes hitting the mattress and the wall with his fists while screaming internally.

Once his outburst is over, he lays down on the bed and tries to breathe and calm down. He tries to think of something that doesn't have anything to do with his father. Junmyeon... His mind is filled with thoughts of Junmyeon in no time. He grips the pillow and thinks about what happened the last time he visited him.

Junmyeon and Sehun laid on the older one's bed again, this time they were just in their underwear and t-shirts. Junmyeon kept raising Sehun's shirt, kissing his upper body and making Sehun moan shamefully. His hand gripped the band of Sehun's boxers and his hand kept going down, but he stopped when he moved to his ear to whisper, "Can I touch you?"

If only Sehun had been feeling a little braver, he would have told Junmyeon yes. He would have let him. He knows Junmyeon wants them to be more intimate, but he's still too shy. But at the same time Junmyeon also wants them to take it slow and he doesn't want to force the younger one into anything, and neither does he want to make Sehun feel like he's obliged to do something sexual.

But one day they'll go  _ all the way, _ and that's when all of Sehun's fantasies will finally come alive. He gets hard from just the thought of being naked against Junmyeon's naked body and feel him... Maybe Junmyeon could eat him out. That would be hot... but at the same time kind of disgusting. Sehun has to contemplate it. And he's really nervous about everything going perfectly. What if he has a sudden need to use the bathroom when Junmyeon's fucking him? Junmyeon told him that he shouldn't eat hours before they're going to do it, but still. Doesn't help. He wants to be  _ clean _ . And what if it hurts?

Junmyeon will take care of him either way. He always puts Sehun's feelings above his own and it makes Sehun so happy. He swings his legs in the air and takes a quick look at the door to see if he locked it and contemplates if he should masturbate. And he decides that yes, he should.

After a few minutes and an hour just laying in his bed, thinking about Junmyeon and superheroes and trying to nap, he decides to get up and bother his hyung. He throws his MP3-player and the earphones on the bed and barges into his brother's room without even knocking. Sejin just turned 20, he's basically a fossil. He's at his desk, studying, and he doesn't pay any attention to his little brother. His walls are covered with anime posters and some superhero posters that couldn't fit on Sehun's walls. He also has some cross stitches that their mother has made. On his desk is a framed picture of a girl. That's new to Sehun. He sneaks up behind his hyung and starts pointing at the picture.

"Is that Yura?" he asks. Sejin doesn't reply for a while until he smacks the book close and turns to Sehun.

"Yes. That is Yura."

"Since when have you had her picture on your desk?"

"She gave it to me on my birthday."

"Wow. I should've given you a picture of me, too," Sehun says but Sejin rolls his eyes and takes the picture in his hand, staring at the girl in it fondly. "She's pretty."

"She is. When do you think is a good time to propose?"

"Propose? Hyung, for real?" Sehun asks and Sejin smiles and nods. "You've been together for... over two years? Almost three?"

"Almost three..."

"Well if you love her then I suppose you could just go for it, but then you have to plan a wedding and then you have to move in together and where are you going to move?"

"...I don't know. We both live at our parents' house... We can't really move in together before we've got jobs to pay for our own flat..."

"Yeah. You can't," Sehun says and plops on his brother's bed, staring up at the ceiling and crossing his arms behind his head. Sejin puts the picture back on his desk and turns to look at Sehun. "When did you realize that you're in love with her?"

"It sounds cheesy, but I've always kinda been in love with her... She's just so sweet, so kind, so smart, so creative, so beautiful, so... perfect."

"That's why you and all your friends were drooling after her," Sehun laughs.

"Yeah. She liked computers, too. Still does..." Sejin looks at him with a worried look. "Did Dad yell at you again?"

"Yeah. About fighting. He told me not to see Junmyeon again."

"Oh... Well I guess he can't really make you. I heard you yell that you love him..."

"I stand behind my words."

"I know you do. Have you… done it?" Sejin asks and it makes Sehun crunch his face. Why do his family members want to know about this?

"No, why do people keep asking? I'm not ready for it."

"But have you… like… done… something… you know…" Sejin tries. Maybe it's time he's trying to give Sehun  _ the talk _ , since both his parents are incapable of doing it.

"...I don't really want to talk about it." Junmyeon asked if he could touch Sehun right after the night he saw a dream where he had sex with his brother. It wasn't a good dream. It is the sole reason why Sehun hasn't been able to talk to Sejin for a while. This is the first time in two weeks that he's able to talk to him without feeling utterly disgusted.

"Oh. It has happened to you, hasn't it?" Sejin asks, making Sehun look at him with a horrified look on his face. Now he's definitely disgusted.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, it's common for virgin guys, especially to us who are really sensitive-"

"I really don't wanna know, hyung-"

"You don't have to be ashamed of it, you know, as long as Junmyeon is good to you and-"

"Hyung, you don't need to give me  _ the talk _ . I know what I'm doing and if I don't, Junmyeon does."

"You seem to trust him a lot," Sejin says with a weirdly worried tone in his voice. Sehun huffs.

"Of course I do. He's my boyfriend."

"Is he honest to you? People sometimes keep some really weird secrets..." Sejin says and makes Sehun raise his hands and flail them around.

"You sound just like Dad. That's the last thing I need," he says before turning on his side to look at his brother. "Besides, you're the one to talk about being honest. I know you've helped Minseok."

"He threatened to hurt Yura... You would've done what he asked if you were in that situation," Sejin says when making a long eye contact with his brother. Sehun can't judge him for wanting to protect his girlfriend.

"Maybe I would've. Maybe I wouldn't have. You should have told me either way. He's like a year younger than you and still had you wrapped around his finger."

"I'm not proud of it. I just knew that hell would get loose if I didn't do what he said. Besides, it's really none of your business."

"Lately nothing's been any of my business," Sehun says when looking down at the ground and the mangas that are piled up in the corner of the room. The two of them are just the same. 

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just meant that we haven't talked."

"You're the one who hasn't talked to me for the past two weeks." That's because of the dream Sehun saw, but he's not going to tell his hyung anything about it.

"You have barely talked to me after Christmas. You're just so Yura this, Yura that, Yura Yura Yura..."

"All you talk about is Junmyeon. Junmyeon this and Junmyeon that. You even scream about him with Dad."

"It's not my fault that Dad's obsessed with my love life," Sehun huffs and lays on his back, wrapping his arms on his chest. He's feeling really chaotic now, like making a mess. Sejin sighs deeply and he hears it. It makes him slightly irritated.

"Look... I'm sorry... I've just been really stressed about my studies lately... I'll talk to you more, okay?"

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Why not now?"

"Because I can't be bothered with your bratty ass right now. But hey, my friend is still available for a chat. He'd love to talk to you about what's troubling you, with Dad and all..."

Sehun blushes at the thought. He had completely forgot about Sejin's gay friend. He's too shy to contact him, though, even if it could help.


	20. Arms Above Head

\- February -

"Another year done in this hellhole," Amber says and raises up her bottle of coke. They're in their usual meeting place again.

"Gotta drink to that," Baekhyun says when raising his own bottle in the air. "I heard from someone that Minseok didn't pass, so we're going to have something to do next year too. Yay."

"He must be looking forward to that," Sehun says and takes a sip of his own coke. Junmyeon right next to him is holding an orange juice like the lame guy he is. Jungkook is also holding a coke, standing on the other side of Sehun, between him and Baekhyun.

"The main point is that all of us got through this year," Amber says and takes a sip.

"And that Minseok is a loser and didn't pass," Baekhyun reminds with a mischievous look on his face. "What would we do without him?"

"Have a life?" Jungkook suggests with a monotone voice, making Baekhyun and Amber roll their eyes at him. "And maybe better friends."

"Breaking my heart over here," Baekhyun huffs. "Anyway... How's life between the two lover birds?"

Sehun turns to look at Junmyeon and the latter does the same. They smile at each other before interlacing their fingers.

"Oh stop it. Now you're just showing off," Amber laughs. "I can't find girls anywhere..."

"I have a few friends who might be interested," Junmyeon says and Amber immediately perks up.

"I love it that gays always accumulate in the same friend groups," she says, jokingly praying and praising the lord.

"Ah. Gays are just so much more fun to be around," Baekhyun says when raising his bottle in the air. "Always so open. Unless they're in the closet. Then I hate them. Like Jungkook."

"I'm not gay," Jungkook immediately defends himself.

"Look, we know you're into Sehun, you want it or not," Baekhyun says and earns a good slap on his shoulder by Jungkook. "So I'm the only real straight person in this group."

"Oh really? What about Chanyeol?" Amber asks, making all the others' eyes widen and jaws drop.

"Don't talk about Chanyeol. He's an exception. Every guy needs a guy crush," Baekhyun says, earning laughs from all of them.

"Real straight person my ass!" Sehun chuckles and kicks Baekhyun lightly and playfully. "Spill it!"

"Okay, me and Chanyeol may have met at a party," he says and takes another sip, moving lively around and smiling like crazy, "and we may have gotten a little drunk. Then I talked about how my gay friends have like the best relationships and he agreed. So I went and told him that he's cute. And soon we were making out on the bed, very drunk."

"Just making out?" Sehun pouts.

"Yeah."

"And you've been texting, haven't you?" Amber asks.

"Yeah."

"So when are you gonna go on a date?" Sehun wonders.

"Never! It was a one-time experience and I intend to keep it that way - it was an experiment for my scientific research and I tell you that I very much prefer girls. It felt a little weird. But I'm glad to have experienced it."

"That was slightly anticlimactic," Amber says and looks at the empty coke bottle in her hands. She already drank all of it. "Oh no. The sadness is coming. I can see the bottom of the bottle."

"It's not alcohol, Amber," Baekhyun huffs.

"Well, yeah," she pouts. "But I wish it was."

They chat about school for a moment more before they decide to go on their ways. Sehun and Junmyeon stay on the alley for a while, where no one can see them. Junmyeon just keeps holding Sehun's hands and looking at him in the eyes when the younger does the same, smiling like an idiot.

"Will you come over tomorrow?" Junmyeon asks. Sehun nods and Junmyeon leans closer to his ear to whisper, "I've got a surprise for you."

It gives Sehun chills and he bites his lip when Junmyeon kisses his cheek before kissing him on the lips, holding his cheek. Sehun has his arms wrapped around his shoulders and he doesn't want the kiss to end.

"I love you," Sehun says when Junmyeon pulls away, the latter smiling widely. He leans in for a quick peck before saying with a soft, sweet voice, "I love you too."

That's the first time he's ever said it back. Sehun can't let him go now. He wraps his arms tight around Junmyeon and the older one chuckles lightly before wrapping his arms around Sehun's waist. He's already taller than him.

"Hey... We'll see again tomorrow, okay?" he says and pulls away from the hug, smiling sweetly. He caresses Sehun's cheek once before starting to walk away, to the direction of his home. Sehun stays there for a while, making sure he's okay and safe, trying to catch his breath for a while. It's crazy how many things he would do for this man.

***

_???: You should have left me alone. _

Sehun wakes up when he has a message on his phone. It's a number he doesn't recognize. He opens it and reads it a few times through, his head aching a little from the brightness of the screen before he types a reply.

_ Sehun: Who's this? _

_???: You know who I am. _ _   
_ _???: I've got your boyfriend. _

Sehun's heart rate picks up and he tries to understand what's going on.

_ Sehun: Minseok? _ _   
_ _ Sehun: Leave Junmyeon alone. Don't hurt him _

_ Minseok: I'm not going to hurt him. _ _   
_ _ Minseok: If you promise to leave me and my friends alone. _ _   
_ __ Minseok: Then, I will leave you and your friends alone.

_ Sehun: Why are you doing this? Why should I believe you? _

Minseok simply sends him a picture of Junmyeon all beat up, his nose bleeding and eye bruised. Sehun covers his mouth and starts crying immediately, jumping up from bed.

_ Sehun: Where are you? Minseok, I'll do anything _ _   
_ _ Sehun: Please. Just leave him alone _ _   
_ __ Sehun: I won't bother you and your gang anymore, just let him go

_ Minseok: Why should I believe you? _

Sehun thinks back to when he was guilting his brother for doing what Minseok asked him to. Now he's in the same situation.

_ Minseok: Take a picture of yourself. _ _   
_ _ Minseok: Naked. _ _   
_ __ Minseok: And I'll believe you.

_ Sehun: Naked?? Why??? _

_ Minseok: Because then I'll know that you're serious. And would do anything I tell you to. _

_ Sehun: Why can't you believe my word? _

_ Minseok: People lie. _

_ Sehun: So you want to embarrass me for your own sick pleasure? _

_ Minseok: No. I just need a proof of your loyalty. _

_ Sehun: Just confess that you want to see me naked cause you're a closeted and insecure gay _

_ Minseok: Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. _ _   
_ _ Minseok: But I won't let your boyfriend go until you do it. _

Sehun sighs deeply. He goes into the bathroom and stands in front of the big mirror they have in there. He starts taking off his clothes and stares at himself for a moment. He's still so skinny, but lately he's gotten a little more weight. That's good, he doesn't look starving like his brother. His hair is a mess and his face is red from crying, so he washes it before even thinking of taking a picture. He tries to calm down for a minute.

To think that he's sending a picture of himself naked to a guy he hates. Just so that he would let Junmyeon go. Maybe Sehun wasn't meant to be a hero. Or maybe his kryptonite was too obvious and he was too easy to defeat.

He takes the picture and sends it to Minseok. In the picture he's sitting on the floor, trying to cover his junk. Hopefully Minseok won't ask for dick pics.

_ Minseok: Good. _

_ Sehun: Now let Junmyeon go _

_ Minseok: I'm a man of my words, Sehun-ah. He'll be home in two hours. _

Sehun puts his clothes back on and cries on the bathroom floor for a few minutes before getting a hold of himself. Junmyeon is now safe. But he should definitely go check up on him in a couple of hours when he's home again. Just seeing all the bruises on him put him on edge.

***

He rings the doorbell.

Nobody answers.

He rings it again before hearing running steps. The door is thrown open and Sehun's collar is gripped by an angry little brother.

"You have some nerve showing your face around here!" he yells and shakes Sehun. The latter looks at him with big eyes, trying to remove his hands from his collar. Jongin's eyes are red, his whole face too, and his voice shakes as he speaks. Sehun has always known that Jongin is an emotion bomb waiting to explode but he never knew he would lash out on Sehun of all people.

"What do you mean?" Sehun asks with a sweet voice, trying to keep in tears himself. It took all of him to stop himself from crying. He just wanted to come back into Junmyeon's arms and say how sorry he is.

"He's dead! Hyung is dead!"

Sehun freezes. Surely Jongin isn't being serious, right? Surely he's not dead physically, just in the same way as Jungkook...

He blinks a few times, feeling a tear slide down his cheek.

"...D-dead?"

"Yeah! He was ran over by a fucking truck when he was walking down some alley from god knows where! The police called us and told us that he's dead! He's dead!" Jongin keeps screaming and falling on the ground on his knees to sob in his hands. Sehun's breath becomes irregular and he falls on his knees too, to try to grab Jongin's shoulders. Maybe to tell himself that this is actually real and not a dream. It must be a nightmare.

But as soon as his hand falls on Jongin's shoulder, the other boy punches him straight in his face. Sehun falls back a bit, tears falling from his eyes as an endless stream.

"I don't want to see you. Ever. Again," Jongin grits through his teeth. Sehun closes his eyes for a moment and hides his face, crying in his hands audibly. Jongin stands up and walks back inside, throwing the door close in Sehun's face.

Sehun stays there, on their porch, for a good fifteen minutes. It doesn't feel real. Nothing feels real. He touches the ground and it feels shaking. His whole body is trembling.

And just then it hits him. The abysmal fury that stems from his hate for Minseok. Of course. It's Minseok's fault.

After this blow Sehun no longer has a reason to fear Minseok. He knows that Amber, Jungkook and Baekhyun can handle themselves. They don't make Sehun feel the same way Junmyeon does.

Did.

Junmyeon did.

Just yesterday he held him in his arms and told him that he loves him. And Junmyeon finally replied the way Sehun wanted. He finally said that he loves him too. Sehun grips his chest and wails loudly, still on their doorstep, waiting for Junmyeon to open the door and ask what's wrong. To hug him and tell him everything's alright.

Junmyeon always made everything alright. How could Minseok have hurt him like that? What made him so angry at Junmyeon that he stopped being friends with him and became... like that?

Sehun just wants to hit someone. For hurting Junmyeon. From hurting all over. For breaking his heart and leaving him on his boyfriend's doorstep to cry.

And Minseok has his nudes!

He gets up. Him and his friends found out a few weeks ago where Minseok's gang usually meets. Maybe they're having a meeting right now.

He starts walking towards the poor area of the city - far away from Junmyeon's high class suburb. Back to the place where all the filth lives... Where Minseok lives.

The way is long but he uses the subway and nearer the place he starts running. Adrenaline starts flowing through his veins as he runs and he runs, until the sees the abandoned building and hears something from inside. He sneaks inside, wiping his tears.

And there Minseok is, in the middle of all the people with Zitao and Jongdae. They're all giving the gang members... money? Like some charity work...

Just then somebody turns to see him and starts pointing at him when screaming, "Oh Sehun!"

And everyone turns to look at him. He looks at all of them from under his hair, glaring at Minseok in the middle of the hall. He starts sprinting towards him and for one second Minseok looks surprised. Even fearful?

"You killed him," is the only thing that Sehun can utter from his lips.

The gang members surround Sehun and he starts beating them all down, some strength that he didn't know he even had rising from within him. Adrenaline takes his body over and the punches don't feel like anything. When he thinks about Junmyeon, he can keep on hitting and hitting and kicking and kicking and seeing how the boys - and girls - around him fall on the ground, holding whatever body part Sehun violated.

When Sehun is done, Minseok is far gone, but someone else is pushing him against the ground and holding him firmly, handcuffing him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried when writing this chapter.


	21. You'll Be Alright

"You believe this Kim Minseok beat up your friend and then pushed him under the truck? Do you have any evidence of that?" the police officer asks when sitting in the jail cell with Sehun who's nodding enthusiastically. His face is red and eyes teary. He has to sniffle every once in a while. He digs up his phone from his pocket and shows the officer the picture Minseok sent him as well as the conversation they had.

"He sent me a message. I don't know how he got my number."

"You beat up twelve people single-handedly. Four of them are in the hospital. And you're saying that they're a part of a gang. Does anybody else know about this gang?"

"Well, everybody at school knows."

"What do they do?"

"They bully people and steal rich and moderately wealthy kids' money," Sehun says, making the police officer squint his eyes. "Why else would they have been in that building, gathered up like some cult?"

"I'm going to interrogate this Kim Minseok and the boys who are in the hospital. I'll see what we can do about it," the officer says and looks at Sehun seriously, reading over the messages again. Sehun is sniffling and holding his hands between his knees, looking down at the ground. His shoulders are shaking as he cries. "Do you think you're going to be okay? Your partner just passed away. It's not easy to recover from that. We can help you get in contact with a psychologist."

"I'm fine. I just need my brother to be here. And Dad."

"Can I call your brother on your phone?" the officer asks and Sehun nods. "What's his name?"

"Sejin." He goes through the contacts before finding 'Sejin-hyung' and pressing the call button. It doesn't take long for him to reply.

"This is officer Chon Yejun from Yangcheon Police Office. I'm calling from your brother's phone," the officer explains. Sehun doesn't hear his hyung say anything, so the officer continues. "He was arrested for fighting and is now at the station waiting for his family to pick him up. He is not injured."

_ "...N... N-now?" _ Sehun hears Sejin's voice and starts crying harder. He just wants to hug someone. Someone safe. 

"Yes. He is waiting for you and your father."

_ "We... We'll be right over." _

"Thank you. Have a nice day." Sejin just ends the call. Sehun hopes it's because he's so worried about Sehun and not because he's so mad. He already knows his father is going to yell at him, but he's sure even he can't be a prick when he tells them about Junmyeon.

The police officer turns to look at Sehun seriously again. Sehun stares at him back. He wants to be a police officer, too. Always has. The last thing he wanted was to be someone a police officer would have to arrest.

"The parents of the boys who you sent to the hospital aren't going to press charges. They told us that immediately," he explains. Sehun blinks a few times.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask them. All they want is for you to pay for the hospital bills."

"They're a part of Minseok's gang. I'm... I'm not the bad guy," Sehun tries to defend himself but the police officer becomes weirdly close.

"That's what they all say. The world isn't so black and white. We'll do everything we can in order to figure out this gang problem in your school."

"...Thank you." That's when the officer goes a bit away and eyes him from head to toe before turning to look at the cell door. It's open. "I want to be a police officer, too. Not be arrested by the police..."

"Don't worry. I was once arrested myself, too, in my teenage years." He sounds sweet. Sehun's ears perk up and he looks at the officer with big, teary eyes. "I got drunk at a friend's party and got arrested for underage drinking."

"Oh... But you didn't hurt anyone. I did."

"I believe that you tried to do the right thing, Sehun. Sometimes it's hard to know what the right thing is, though."

"How do you know what's the right thing?"

"I don't. I have no idea," the officer says when turning to Sehun, smiling at him sweetly. He offers Sehun a tissue to blow his nose. He does, but he keeps sobbing. "I guess sometimes we just have that gut feeling when something's wrong or right. But sometimes we have to use our heads. We can't just blame someone for accidentally running over a high school student. We don't know the full story, even if we're told what the story is."

"Minseok hurt Junmyeon," Sehun defends his own opinion immediately, shaking his head. "He must have caused Junmyeon's death."

"Do you not believe in accidents?"

"Minseok tormented Junmyeon for years for something that happened in the past," Sehun says.

The officer looks at Sehun for a long while with an apologetic look. He looks genuinely kind and Sehun feels like he could tell him anything. He's probably in his mid-forties, just like Sehun's father, and he's starting to get a little bald.

"Do you have kids?" Sehun asks suddenly, making the officer laugh gently.

"I do. Two daughters. My wife passed away ten years ago. I've been a single father since."

"I'm sorry."

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love. A partner." Sehun starts crying hard again. He covers his face and leans on his knees when the officer pats his back. "It's gonna get better."

Sejin and Yongsoo come into the cell and immediately walk up to Sehun who looks up at his brother before jumping up and hugging him tight, crying against his shoulder. The two wait patiently and surprised for the officer who now stands up as well to spill the details of the situation.

"Sehun was in a fight. He beat up twelve people and four of them had to go to the hospital. The families of the victims are not going to press charges, but expect you to pay for the hospital bills. To single-handedly beat up twelve guys, something must have really made him mad... Sehun, do you want to tell them?" he asks. Sehun shakes his head and keeps crying, gripping Sejin's jacket tighter. "Okay. Kim Junmyeon passed away earlier this day. He was reportedly hit by a large vehicle."

Sejin hugs Sehun tighter when he hears that. He closes his eyes, purses his lips together and looks down at Sehun's shoulder. They stay silent for a good while until the officer finally speaks up again.

"Oh Yongsoo, you can sign the papers in the reception," he says and the father nods. "Follow me, please."

Sejin lets go of Sehun for a while, trying to look at him in the eyes, but Sehun hides his face immediately. His shoulders raise as he keeps crying and sobbing.

"Sehuna," he says but the younger doesn't even seem to register his words. He keeps crying in his hands and wanting to press his head against his hyung's shoulder. "When... How...?"

"...He... He killed him... I-I'm sure... He... H-h-he... k-k-killed... J-J-J-Junmyeon..."

"Sehun..." Sejin says when putting his arm around Sehun's back and starting to walk him towards the reception in the entrance. "Let's get you home. And to bed."

They walk to the reception where Yongsoo just finished signing a paper. They all stay quiet when walking to the car. Sejin and Sehun sit in the backseat, Sehun crying against his brother, and the father at the wheel, driving them home safely.

Yongsoo turns on the radio and immediately closes it when there's nothing but crappy modern day pop music. It's too cheery for the occasion.

They stay silent the whole drive until they reach home. Sejin helps Sehun get inside and they all go into the kitchen, the big brother taking care of the younger one by offering him something to eat but Sehun shaking his head, saying that his throat hurts from all the crying.

"I don't know what to do with you," Yongsoo says, leaning his arms on the back of a chair and staring at his younger son with worried eyes. Sehun hides his face while Sejin tries to offer him food. Soon he's glaring at their father, though.

"Give him some slack."

"I know this is hard for you and I don't expect it to be anything else than that, I know you're devastated and heartbroken, but to single-handedly beat up twelve people, four of them having to go to the hospital... There's something wrong with you," he says, making Sejin stand up immediately and start pointing at his father.

"You have no right to talk to him like that. His boyfriend just died," he says and leans on the table, glaring at his father. Sehun leans against his brother's body.

"No. There has to be a school where they can teach him some manners, some place where they teach troubled youth like him to be normal-"

"It is normal to want to hurt people that hurt the person you love."

"Want! But do they actually do it? Of course not! He has no self-control!"

"Maybe that's something that you've failed at by raising him!"

"And someone ought to fix my mistake!"

"They-" Sehun starts sobbing. "K-k-killed Junmyeon..."

"The officer told me that Junmyeon was hit by a truck. Nobody killed him intentionally. There is nobody we can blame. It was an accident. And I don't blame you either for feeling the way you do, I'm just saying that no matter how hurt you are, you can't just... hurt other people," Yongsoo lectures, but Sehun hardly heard anything under his sobs.

"I'll talk to him. You stay out of this," Sejin says to his father while glaring. "Like you've stayed for months. You just make things worse."

Yongsoo sighs deeply and looks away from his sons. "I'm trying my best here, Sejin. Stop always guilting me."

"You're not trying. Don't even try to pretend you're the victim here."

"I'm the one who has to pay for the hospital bills. What are you going to do about that, Sehun?"

"Stop it," Sejin says and helps Sehun stand up, holding him firmly in his arms while walking him to the door. "He's gone through enough for one day."

Yongsoo stays silent, sits down and sighs deeply again while Sejin takes his brother into the younger one's room. Sehun immediately falls in bed and grips the bedsheets, sobbing against them. His heart hurts so much that he can hardly breathe. It feels like his chest is tightening, only letting the air out but not taking anything in.

Sejin sits on the edge of Sehun's bed and draws circles on his back, trying to make him calm down.

"I'm not going anywhere until you fall asleep. You've had a long day. You should really eat something, otherwise it's hard for you to fall asleep. You haven't eaten anything after you left home, have you? I'll bring you some water and bread, okay? Try to eat something. You'll feel better then."

The big brother leaves for a moment and Sehun keeps crying. He hadn't even realized how famished he is. But the emptiness in his stomach feels nothing compared to the emptiness inside his heart now that he knows that Junmyeon will no longer hold him, cuddle with him in bed, kiss him, never make him feel like the most important person in the whole world again.

And he cannot stop wondering their existential being. Where did Junmyeon go now that his body is no longer living? If he no longer has consciousness then it feels so lonely and if there is life after death then it feels far away - like Sehun still had some hope. Like their separation wasn't infinite.

Sejin comes back into the room with a glass of water and two slices of bread. He puts them down on Sehun's nightstand. He takes Sehun's jacket and hoodie off and puts the blanket on his legs before pulling Sehun's laptop on a chair and putting it before Sehun's bed, opening up a web series that Sehun has been watching lately - it has nothing to do with superheroes, but it is a Korean mystery drama with cops and action. Sejin raises Sehun to sit up and watch the newest episode. He gives him the food, too.

"Let's watch one episode. Eat. Then go to sleep."

"H-h-hyung-" Sehun sobs and hides his face in his hands. "I-I-I can't." Sejin wraps his arms around him and rubs his shoulder.

"It doesn't matter if you can or can't. It only matters that you have to." His voice is sweet and calming and Sehun starts hugging him tightly, hiding his face in his chest. Sejin pats his head. "It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay."

***

Sehun, Baekhyun, Amber and Jungkook are standing in a circle with a candle in the middle. Only Jungkook isn't crying. He's staring at the candle. Only Sehun is sobbing and panting so hard that it's hard for him to breathe. He's staring at the candle but his vision is blurred by his tears that keep raining onto the floor.

"This has to stop," Amber says through her teeth and takes a deep breath. "He should have died of old age with many bestsellers to his name."

"It's all Minseok's fault," Sehun sobs with gritted teeth, his eyebrows furrowed. "He  _ killed _ him."

"Minseok didn't kill Junmyeon. It was an accident," Baekhyun says while wiping his tears. "You have to be realistic, Sehun."

"Of course he did. How else would this even have happened?" Sehun asks, now glaring at Baekhyun.

"Because accidents happen, Sehun. Accidents happe-" Baekhyun is cut off by Sehun who pushes him against the wall and grabs his collar. Amber and Jungkook immediately run to them and try to get Sehun off of the older one. Sehun has gotten a lot stronger physically during the last year. Of course, puberty has hit him good.

"Sehun!" Amber gasps and tries to take his hands off Baekhyun. Sehun keeps glaring at the older one, his face red and eyebrows furrowed. He only grabs tighter when the two try to take him away. Baekhyun is surprised for a moment before mirroring Sehun's expression. It's raining through the holes in the roof.

"It. Was not. An. Accident. Minseok. Killed. Him," Sehun grits through his teeth. "And I will kill him."

Baekhyun looks pained. He pushes Sehun off himself and the younger one takes some distance. He looks at all of them for a while before falling on his knees and sobbing loudly. Amber kneels next to him and pats his back, caresses his hair and shushes him.

"It's gonna be okay, Sehun. It's gonna be okay... We'll get through this," she says, but Sehun shakes his head.

"No we won't! Even if you do, I won't! I won't! I love him!" he wails and soon all three of them are around him, trying to make him feel better. Baekhyun tries to raise him on his knees but it proves to be unsuccessful.

"You'll be alright," Amber says with a soft voice.


	22. Trouble

\- March -

School starts again. Sehun has no intention of going easy on Minseok. He has spent all his holiday wailing in his room and sometimes Sejin's room, crying about anything that reminded him of Junmyeon.

Now the halls of the school remind him of Junmyeon.

Now the lockers where they first talked.

Now the restroom where he saw Junmyeon being dragged into for the first time.

Sehun has not seen his friends the whole day, but the day has only just begun. People look at Sehun's furrowed eyebrows and the frown on his face with compassion. They know about the fate of the young man who meant a lot to Sehun.

When seeing Jongin standing there with Taemin, he cannot help but notice how emotionless the other looks. Jongin usually smiles brightly, usually him and Taemin have a lot to talk about, but now they're just standing there, Jongin staring at the floor while Taemin staring at Jongin, maybe hoping for him to say something.

Sehun is not the kind of person to create drama... but now he proceeds to confront Jongin. Taemin stares at him coming their way and tries to make Jongin leave, but nothing could make him budge. Sehun grabs Jongin's shoulders and pushes him against the lockers. The slightly older student looks up at him with empty eyes. Unlike Sehun's, there was nothing going on behind them.

It was just like looking at Jungkook.

Terrifying.

Empty.

"When is the memorial?" Sehun asks. His hair is greasy. He hasn't showered in days. Jongin looks at it for a while before blinking slowly.

"Was. You weren't invited." Sehun gasps.

"What? Why not? He meant something to me too, you know, he was my fucking boyfriend." People around them turn to look at them. Sehun doesn't even care that everybody will soon know about his sexual orientation. It's not like they didn't have a clue before.

"And you hurt him. You're the reason he's dead. Would you really have wanted to be there under the judging eyes of my family?"

"I told you already, it wasn't me it was Minseok!" Sehun yells and tears start running down his cheeks as he hits the locker right next to Jongin's head. He looks down and sobs.

"Minseok didn't kill him. And I know you didn't kill him. But Minseok would have never hurt him if you and your friends knew when to stop. Without you, he would have never taken that road that day," Jongin says with an emotionless voice before pushing Sehun away slightly and walking away. Sehun hides himself against the lockers and cries, hiding his face from the watchful eyes of the students. He thought he would have been more okay now that it's been a month, but it almost hurts more. Being in school without Junmyeon is so much more painful than he had anticipated.

But he has to let this anger out on someone.

And just then, just like that, Zitao and Jongdae walk past him. They're smiling and laughing with each other, irritating the hell out of Sehun. He glares at them walking past him and they make brief eye contact with him before deciding to ignore him.

Sehun won't let them ignore him. He walks up to them and grabs Zitao's arm, stopping him on his tracks. The boys immediately stop smiling and walking. Instead they look at Sehun with raised eyebrows.

"You... know what happened..." Sehun says and looks up at them from under his greasy hair. 

"You look horrible," Jongdae says. "Take a shower."

"Tell me it was him," Sehun says and the older students just glance at each other. 

"Who was who?" Zitao asks.

"Minseok... He killed... Junmyeon..."

"Uhm," Jongdae immediately tenses up. So does Zitao. "We did beat him up, but-"

"But he got hit by a truck on his own. There was nobody who killed him," Zitao finishes the sentence.

"Well, except the truck driver. You should be blaming the driver, not us or Minseok," Jongdae defends them.

"No. It must have been Minseok," Sehun says, sighs deeply and sniffs. "It must have been. It makes sense."

"No, it doesn't," Jongdae says and pushes him away from Zitao. "Now don't come near us again."

The two glare at Sehun once they walk away from him. Sehun sniffles a little, wiping his teary eyes and going somewhere else. He doesn't care that the people passing by can see his tears. He couldn't give two flying fucks about how he looks or how other people see him at the moment - he couldn't care if the teachers decided that he wasn't fit to be taught because of his deviation or the other students would start hating him.

Everybody already feared Sehun. He seemed hot-headed and he was always getting into fights. No, it didn't make him hot. It made him absolutely scary and hard to approach.

And when people don't know the full story, they start making up one. One where Sehun is the bad guy.

Sehun walks through the hallways to find the man he blames this all for. He pushes Minseok against the lockers and grips his collar, but the older student immediately pushes him away from himself, raising his hands in the air and pretends to be innocent in front of all the other students. One has already ran off to get the teacher.

"You know what happened to Junmyeon! It was your fault!" Sehun sobs. Minseok looks at him with big and innocent eyes, but the weariness is evident in his eyes. His breath hitches as he stares at Sehun crying. "You better delete that picture or I'll  _ fucking _ kill you!"

"Calm down," Minseok says as he raises his arms when Sehun starts coming closer again, pointing at him.

"Easy for you to say! You fucking hated him and me! How could you?!"

"I didn't kill him!" Minseok yells back louder, now looking around himself anxiously. "I didn't kill Junmyeon. You're crazy for thinking that way."

"How am I crazy? You're the one who's crazy!" Sehun screams and just then a teacher comes to the scene. She grabs Sehun's arm and Sehun almost pushes her away, but he snaps out of it when seeing his homeroom teacher.

"Hey. Sehun, it's alright. It's okay. Let's go to the principal's room, okay?" she says and Sehun keeps sobbing and sniffling, his tears sliding down on the floor. All the students stare at them, even Minseok. His eyes are wide open and he looks shocked for some reason.

The teacher starts dragging Sehun slowly away from the scene. She smiles gently to Sehun who doesn't even glance at her. The ground seems to be more interesting.

Once they are in the principal's office, Sehun sits down before the principal's desk and keeps staring at the floor. The old man sighs deeply.

"What's up, Sehun?"

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Sehun wipes his tears and the teacher offers him some tissues which he accepts.

"We heard about your friend. We're sorry for what you must be going through. It's a big and serious thing. I want you to know that school counseling is always at your service. There's nothing wrong with seeing the counselor, he is well-trained and knows what he's doing. If you want to talk to someone, go talk to him."

The principal then proceeds to type a number to his work phone from the student files. Sehun stares at his fingers.

"I'm going to have to call your father. You should work over whatever you're feeling and come back to school when you don't want to hurt other students."

The principal calls Yongsoo. Sehun can hear from the phone that his father is upset and that he's coming to pick Sehun up. He can also hear him apologizing a million times and saying that this won't happen again. The principal just replies that it better not. 

Yongsoo comes to the school in about twenty minutes. Sehun was about to die in the office while listening to the teachers talk. They were talking about Sehun like he wasn't even here.

"Okay. What's the situation?" Yongsoo asks. He doesn't even bother to sit down. "I came here straight from work, I don't have all day. I'm an entrepreneur, I already work 10 hours a day."

"Yes, right, Mr Oh. Sehun caused a ruckus in the hallway and accused another boy of... killing... Kim Junmyeon. I understand it's a touchy subject for him. Perhaps you should talk to him."

"Perhaps I should," Yongsoo sighs and gets up, taking a hold of Sehun's arm as well. Sehun looks down and wipes his tears.

"Bye, Mr Oh."

Yongsoo doesn't even reply when he takes the teenager through the hallway into the car. At the car he just sighs deeply and leans against the wheel for a while.

"First day of school and you're already in trouble, huh?" Sehun doesn't even reply when he bursts into tears. Yongsoo pats his back slightly before turning on the engine. "Okay. Okay. Let's get you home. Jangmi and Sejin are already waiting for you."


	23. Wind

\- April -

Junmyeon's soft hands caressed over his when the older sat right next to him. They were holding each other close on Junmyeon's bed and kept talking about things that bothered them. Junmyeon was sparing with telling about his life, whereas Sehun told him everything. Every single little detail about his life that he thought Junmyeon would get tired of hearing. And Junmyeon always listened.

_ "My dad has been a prick for the past months." _

_ "He'll come around. I'm sure of it." _

_ "What if he won't?" _

_ "Then... you shouldn't let him put you down. You are your own person. If you have to leave him, then do. He'll come back to you once he realizes what a wonderful son he's lost." _

Sehun thought that his father would be back to normal by now, but he's still as distant as the moment he said that he's into men.

His birthday is next week. He'll spend it with his family again... Hopefully. He remembers how the last time his father gave him the Batman figurine and he loved it... Still does.

It's raining outside while Sehun is cleaning the kitchen. He has to, still, because his father had to pay for the hospital bills for the boys Sehun beat up. It's been two months already, but the bills were quite expensive. Yongsoo will probably be paying them off for the rest of the year. All because Sehun did something wrong.

Sehun starts wondering if his father hates him. When he was a kid, he remembers going to his dad's office and playing around with his stuff while his dad worked. Yongsoo would sometimes sit him on his lap and he fell asleep, all cuddled up against his father.

Sehun almost tears up from the memory. He looks at the dishes in the sink with a melancholic look on his face and before he even notices, a single tear drops into the water and he immediately wipes his cheek. Of course it had to be a day like this. Raining. He should be at school but he's been feeling so depressed that he simply hasn't been able to get up from bed. Not even his friends motivate him to come to school - not even Jungkook who's battling with the same helpless feelings Sehun is struggling with.

He doesn't want to see Jongin. He told Sejin about what the other student said while sobbing. Sejin just closed him in his arms and they just laid in bed together for hours. Sehun leaned against his brother's chest and fell asleep there while Sejin read his books for university.

Maybe his mood would lift a little if the clouds just moved away and the sun would shine. Maybe he could go for a walk around the city then. It's been a while since he's done that.

He rinses a cup clean while he notices that the drumming of the raindrops suddenly stops. And when he looks to the window, the sun is starting to show its' face from the clouds.

He immediately goes to the window, looks up to the sky with big eyes and his jaw just drops. The clouds have moved further away, but soon they will come back.

Did he just... do that? Was he just able to blow the clouds away with his mind? Was he just... controlling the wind?

Sehun covers his mouth while he keeps staring outside into the skies. He smiles a little. It's scary, but it feels nice... Maybe he's a superhero? Maybe his supernatural ability is to control the wind? All superheroes have a super ability.

Of course. How else would the clouds have moved away? He just thought about it and exactly that happened!

Yongsoo walks into the room and grunts. His eyes dart to his son who's staring at the sky.

"Sehun," he says and walks closer to the younger one. Sehun doesn't even notice his existence. "You should prepare the meal. I just got home from work."

Sehun doesn't say anything, just keeps staring at the clouds. Then Yongsoo huffs, "Sehun," and when there is no reply, he grabs his arms and starts shaking him. Sehun doesn't budge, it doesn't matter what anyone would say or do - he is in a trance.

"Stop ignoring me! I thought we talked about this. Sehun. Sehun!" he keeps trying, but to no avail. Sejin yells something from the living room but then he's in the kitchen in no time, grabbing his father's shoulder and pulling him away from the little brother.

"Leave him alone! You've done enough already," he says and crosses his arms on his chest when the father lets go of Sehun's arms.

"He should be preparing the food. I didn't pay for the hospital bills just for him to slack off," Yongsoo says. Sejin rolls his eyes and grunts.

"Dad, he's not okay. He's lost weight and his eyes are permanently red from all the crying. There's no matter how much work you tell him to do, he won't get better."

"Well maybe if he did something, it would be easier for him to get over those feelings and start getting better!" Yongsoo raises his voice. Sejin pushes his chest a little, making the father gasp and look at his son with horror in his eyes.

"You have no fucking right to say things like that! You're so fucking insensitive!"

"Don't you swear at me!"

Sehun runs upstairs hurriedly, almost tripping in the stairs. He throws his room's door close and sits against it, looking at his hands. The sounds of his father and brother screaming downstairs can be heard throughout the building, but Sehun isn't bothered by them. Usually he is.

He looks at his hands and takes a deep breath, mesmerized by his own powers. It's coming true - he's actually becoming a superhero. After all these years waiting for his own supernatural ability, it's actually happening. Oh, how he's been waiting for it.

He plops down on his bed and picks his phone, laying on his stomach and hugging his pillow. The position hurts his neck but he's content in staying in that position. He's just so excited. He needs to tell his friends about this.

_ Sehun: Hi guys. I have something to tell you... _

_ Baekkie: about how great i am? appreciated _

_ Amber: as if sehun had anything good to say about you _

_ Baekkie: oh, he has plenty _

_ Sehun: No. It has something to do with me... _

_ Amber: spill it _

Sehun takes a deep breath. His whole body is tense.

_ Sehun: I think I can control the wind _

None of his friends say anything for a while. He starts growing a little irritated. Why aren't his friends answering? He's always there when his friends have something exciting to tell... or when they're feeling down. They rarely discuss about the bad things, though. 

_ Baekkie: sure. and i can control water. with my hands. when i'm in the water. oh, i can swim with my ability to control water. _

_ Amber: uhm, Sehun, you alright? _

_ Kookie~: Did you hit your head? _

It sounds to him that his friends don't believe him. Of course, why would they? Sehun wouldn't believe it if they told him something like this either.

_ Sehun: I know it sounds crazy but it's true! I just thought about how I want the rain to stop and suddenly the sun started shining! The clouds just... moved away _

_ Amber: Sehun, it's called... coincidence _

_ Kookie~: Go to sleep, Sehun. _

_ Baekkie: i agree. you need some rest, kid _

_ Sehun: You don't believe me? I'll show you. Once I learn how to control it... _

Sehun huffs, turns on his back and crosses his arms on his chest, looking up at the ceiling. His friends are supposed to support him, not put him down. Besides, this is top-secret information! No matter how excited he is about this and wants to tell everyone, he decides to keep it just between him and his friends... for now. He'll tell his brother later.

He sighs deeply. Maybe he does need some sleep. 

***

Sehun comes home from school and just goes into his room. Only his mother is home, sitting in the kitchen and writing in her blog. She did say hi to her son, but he didn't reply. He's too busy thinking about his new abilities.

At school his friends were a little weirded out around him, but Sehun didn't even mention his ability and neither did they. Baekhyun didn't say anything bad, just looked at his friend with worried eyes. Amber asked him if he's alright. He said he's fine.

The reality is something else. Sehun has stopped thinking about Junmyeon's death completely. He has stopped crying after him and understood that it is his mission to take Minseok down. He can't cry about it, he just has to practice and fight more.

He sits on his bed, looking at a book that's laying on the ground. He tries to make all kinds of different hand gestures to try and lift the book... but nothing happens. Sehun tries and tries... until... absolutely nothing happens.

He sighs deeply, hits the bed and lays down, frustrated. He has powers, he knows it, he just doesn't know how to control them yet.

***

Sehun and his friends meet up again at their usual meeting place. They're all silent and keep kicking invisible rocks. Jungkook is the only one who's just staring at Sehun, waiting for him to react somehow.

It's tense. Like they're all waiting for Sehun to say something - including Sehun.

"I'm gonna take Minseok down, one way or another," Sehun says finally. Amber and Baekhyun just keep looking at the ground. "I know you don't believe I have powers, but I have, and there's nothing I or anyone can do about it."

"Sehun... You should... get some rest... or something..." Amber says with a worried voice. Sehun rolls his eyes and waves his hand.

"Rest is for losers. I need to train. Aren't you going to train me?" Sehun asks. Baekhyun and Amber glance at each other before both shaking their heads.

"Me and Baekhyun discussed about this earlier... and we've both come to the conclusion that maybe we shouldn't teach you anymore."

"Fine. I don't need you teaching me. I'll train on my own and become better than the both of you combined. You just wait and see." Sehun huffs and crosses his arms on his chest, now looking at Jungkook who's been staring at him with a blank expression for this entire time. "What are you looking at? One day you'll all bow down to how great I am."

Jungkook simply blinks once before turning to look at the grounds and his two other friends.

"Hmm... We should probably go now," Amber says.

"What? Wait! I haven't even told you about how I saved a girl today. She kept-"

"We don't care! We give zero fucks about your hero narration!" Baekhyun suddenly snaps, stomps his foot on the ground and glares at Sehun, steam coming out of his ears. He pushes Sehun's chest once before going away. Amber shrugs when the younger one looks at her with big eyes, seemingly confused about Baekhyun's behavior.

"I'll go talk to him. Don't expect us back," Amber says and goes after Baekhyun. Sehun just keeps staring at them running away. Amber looks behind her once and never seems like she has any intention of catching Baekhyun.

Sehun turns to his best friend who again turns to look at him, blinking slowly. The weird emptiness in his eyes doesn't make Sehun as uneasy as it used to, a month ago.

Just as Sehun raises his hand, the wind suddenly grows stronger. Sehun is startled but soon he starts smiling widely, looking at Jungkook with delight. The slightly younger's eyes widen when Sehun shakes his shoulders, seemingly happy.

"Did you see that? Did you see that?" Sehun asks with a big grin while shaking Jungkook. The latter is, for the first time ever, showing something other than a blank look or a slight smile (which is rare and only happens when the two are alone) - he's shocked.

Sehun leans closer to his face and whispers with a soft, genuine voice, "I did that."

He squeals and lets go of Jungkook, already running away from the scene and waving at the boy who keeps staring at him with big, shocked eyes.

"I gotta tell hyung!" Sehun exclaims before dashing off. He holds his backpack tight and keeps smiling all the way to his home, throwing the door open and close again. It doesn't even bother him that it's raining.

He takes off his wet shoes and jacket, runs upstairs despite his mother offering him dinner, throws his backpack before his room's door and throws his brother's room's door open. Sejin raises his head off the book, ceasing his hand that was writing something down in the notebook vigorously. His glasses fall on his nose as he looks at his little brother, wet and sweaty - but happy.

He sits up and puts his glasses better, looking at Sehun from head to toe with a concerned look. He squints his eyes when Sehun sits down on his bed, biting his own lower lip and swinging his legs.

"You seem happy," Sejin points out. Sehun nods quickly.

"I gotta tell you something," the little brother says. Sejin blinks a few times. "I can control the wind."

Sejin's eyebrows furrow. He looks at Sehun dead in the eye but the little brother keeps smiling. He looks at the posters on the walls and starts flailing his hands in the air.

"I know you don't believe me, but trust me - it's real!"

"...What made you think that?" he wonders.

"Everything! It's obvious! I was just thinking about how I want the rain to stop and suddenly it stopped! And then, then, then, when I moved my hand, suddenly the wind got stronger!" Sehun says without even taking a breath. He smiles widely to his big brother who looks suddenly pissed.

"If this is some sort of joke, then stop it. It's not funny."

"I'm not kidding! Why do people think I'm kidding? Why would I joke about this? This is huge!" Sehun says and flails his hands in the air again. Sejin stands up before sitting back down next to his little brother. He wraps his arm around him and looks at him at his big eyes that wait for the big brother's approval.

"Do you really think you can control wind?" he asks and Sehun nods. "Don't play." Sejin shakes his head and his eyes start getting more red. When he says, "Don't play," again, his voice trembles.

"I'm not playing," Sehun says, his smile dropping instantly.

"If you're just playing some joke on me, then this isn't funny," Sejin says and Sehun looks at him with disbelief. Sejin looks down, sniffs once and wipes his cheek. When he's collected himself a little, he looks back at Sehun and sees his genuine expression. "Don't ever say anything like that again."

"Why not? Is it dangerous?" Sehun asks and Sejin grabs his cheeks, pulling him closer.

"Because I'm going to have to take you to the doctor." Sehun starts shaking his head quickly.

"Why would you take me to a doctor?"

"To the fucking hospital because you're fucking mental!" Sejin suddenly yells, making Sehun jump away from him a little bit. His eyes start getting teary as well. 

"I'm not crazy!" he yells back with a shaky voice. He jumps up and so does his brother who grabs his hand.

"A word about this and I'll take you to the hospital. It's a promise."

"You can't take me to the hospital if I don't want to!"

"Yes, I can!" Sejin yells and pushes Sehun back down on the bed. Sehun kicks him once but he slaps him back slightly. The little brother starts kicking him more, now tears flowing down his cheeks. Sejin holds his arms tight and presses him against the bed, sitting down beside him. "Now don't leave my room tonight. I... gotta figure this out."

"Why? You have nothing to figure out about this! Once I figure out how to control it, I'll show you!" Sehun cries and glares at his brother. Sejin looks at him dead in the eye, his own red and filled with tears.

"If you so much as think about leaving my side tonight, I won't hesitate to call the ambulance," he says and Sehun starts sobbing. He can hear Sejin swallowing a lump from his throat before laying down beside him, holding him close against him. "Fuck. I was supposed to study."

"Why don't you?"

"I've been so worried about you for the past... months. I've done  _ nothing _ but worry about you. I can barely attend lectures when I'm constantly thinking about the next thing you'll do that might potentially kill you," Sejin sobs and hides his face quickly. Sehun feels bad for making his brother cry and starts weeping harder himself.

"I won't kill myself. You don't have to worry about me."

"Yes, I do. I have to."

"No, you don't."

"Shut up. You don't have... you... for a little brother."

"You don't have to worry about me!"

"Shut the fuck up. Seriously. You're so fucking reckless."

"I'm not. I help people."

"Of course you do. But it means that you get hurt in the process. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Why do you have to be so overprotective?" Sehun wonders as he tries to push Sejin away.

"...Ever since we were kids, I looked out for you... I always had to... And in elementary school, I saved you from your bullies... Whenever I wasn't around, you would get yourself hurt... So I've always felt... obligated... to be around... And it's sad that even after those many years, you're still getting yourself hurt whenever I'm not around. So just... stay with me. Stay around me. Don't ever go away from me," Sejin says as he pulls Sehun tighter. Finally Sehun gives in and hugs his brother back, both of them crying and holding each other.


	24. Sleep At Night

\- May -

"You should give us a little peek."

"I heard from Jaeyoung that you do it for money. Is that true?"

"Even if it was, I would never accept money from you."

Sehun hears the voices of two guys and one girl around the corner. He only has to hear those few sentences before he starts walking in their direction, curling his fingers to a fist. When the two guys see him, they don't even pay attention to him, but the girl's eyes are hopeful. The other guy is already lifting her skirt and she almost screams when Sehun pulls him back, pushing him against the wall. The other guy grabs Sehun's back and before they know it, they're in a fight in the small corner where nobody sees.

Or so they hope. 

It all ends with Sehun being on the ground, his lip bleeding and the two guys leave him and the girl there, spitting on the two before taking their leave. Sehun sits up with the little strength he has left in him, panting harshly.

The girl kneels next to Sehun, helping him sit up and smile at him. She kisses his cheek, making Sehun blush a little.

"Thank you," she says. "I don't know what would've happened if you weren't here to save me."

"I'm glad to be of help."

Unfortunately Zitao and Jongdae, who just come from around the corner with a teacher, aren't so happy about Sehun's so-called help. They glare at the boy sitting on the ground and tell the teacher that Sehun was in a fight that he prompted, to which the girl and Sehun immediately shake their heads to.

"The guys were lifting my skirt and saying and doing inappropriate things. I told them to go away but they wouldn't listen, so Sehun came to help me," she says and the teacher hums, asking for the guys' names which she gives.

"Okay. I've heard enough. I'll tell the principal about this and you'll have to do some work for the school. All three of you. But because of lack of evidence on this matter, I guess expelling isn't the consequence."

"I was just protecting her," Sehun defends himself, making grand gestures with his hands but the teacher sighs and shakes his head, looking down on him while Zitao and Jongdae smirk at their victory.

"You still can't just go around roughing up people. I don't know who started what, but the principal will decide on what you have to do."

Sehun sighs deeply before getting up with the girl's help. She asks if he's okay and he keeps saying that he is, but in all honesty he feels nothing. Even the pain he feels in his body doesn't really feel like anything. It vanishes in the air like nothing ever even happened.

***

Sehun goes home after school, defeated. It took him a little longer today since he was raking the yard of the school with the two other boys who kept grunting and glaring at him. Sehun paid no mind to them, just kept on raking.

He had to do it for two hours before going back home where his father is already waiting for him with his arms across his chest and his eyebrows furrowed. He's standing at the door and Sehun looks up at him with a defeated look.

"The principal called me. Again. When will you learn? Violence is not the answer to everything. You can't just go and hit people you don't like, no matter how bad things they've done!" Yongsoo yells and flails his hands in the air. Sehun has learned the grand gestures from him.

"At least I don't just sit idle while people are suffering! What you're doing is wrong! You're telling me to just be a coward like you? Never!" Sehun says back and stomps his feet on the ground, taking off his shoes now and trying to go past his father, but the latter keeps him trapped.

"I am not a coward, Sehun. I just know when to keep my distance from people that will hurt me and the people that I love," Yongsoo says the same thing again, but again, Sehun is not listening.

"Whatever."

"Will you promise me to stop picking up fights at school?"

"..."

"Sehun."

"..."

"When I ask you a question you ought to answer it. You have no idea how exhausted I am with your behavior. I am... so done with you."

"Then why don't you just leave? Like you did after I told you. You hate me so why don't you just leave?"

"I don't hate you. Lately you've just been acting a bit stupid."

"Dad, I don't-" Sehun starts as he looks at his father dead in the eye, "-care. I really don't care how you feel."

Yongsoo sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. "I know. I just wish you did."

"Well it's not like you've cared about my feelings lately, either, so who cares?"

"What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?" Yongsoo asks with a defeated sigh. Sehun furrows his eyebrows and clenches his fists when he looks up at his father.

"You know damn well what I want. But for some reason you're just an ignorant idiot who can't see past his own-"

Sehun falls back a bit after feeling his father's palm on his cheek briefly and his cheek starts to burn. He raises his own hand to touch the area that was hit by his father and the tears start burning his eyes, quickly cascading down his cheeks. He doesn't say a single thing as he runs past his father, up the stairs to his own room. He throws his backpack next to his bed, falls on the mattress and hides his face when crying into the pillow. He holds the pillow tight and sobs lightly.

He's taken punches from all kinds of people before. Men, women, girls, boys, his friends who have taught him martial arts, his enemies that have tried to beat him into submission...

But none of those people was his father, who has never hurt him, never touched him the wrong way, never said anything bad to him, until... until he went and told the truth about himself. The truth that he's been desperately trying to explain to his father.

And to think that him, his own father, who was always so loving and gentle, would now hit him, his own son, for disobedience. Yongsoo has told the boys about what kind of man his own father was - he even told the boys that he would never hit them because he remembers how it hurt. Not because the hit was exceptionally hard, no, it didn't have to be, but because the person that dealt it was his own father.

Under all his sobbing Sehun didn't hear the screaming starting downstairs. But soon he realizes that Sejin witnessed everything and is soon climbing his way up the stairs and into his little brother's room in order to comfort him. Of course he would. He always does.

Sejin sits on the edge of the bed and caresses Sehun's hair gently. "I can't believe he would have done something like this. I know he's been a jerk to you lately, but this... this is too much. What a hypocrite. He always tells you that violence is not the answer, and then he does this..."

Sehun keeps wondering if this is how Jungkook feels like... though, Jungkook often has bruises all over his body, not just a little red mark on his face that disappears in a few hours. Sehun can't even imagine getting beat up like that by his own father.

And Yongsoo, too, he has told them about his violent father, their grandfather that they have never met. He died before they could. Yongsoo also said that whether he was dead or alive didn't matter - his father would have never seen the boys either way. That is how little he trusted him, that is how little he loved him.

"Hey. Sehun. Let's watch a movie together, shall we? Any movie that you want. I'll make you some tea and we could have some of the pastries that Mom baked today. Okay?" Sejin tries to console his little brother but Sehun keeps crying against the pillow. Sejin sighs deeply, frowns and grabs his brother's shoulders. He shakes him gently. "Or... whatever you wanna do. Please, Sehun. Just talk to me. Let's talk it through, okay?"

"Why do you always..." Sehun starts when raising a little on his elbows and turning his head to see Sejin's red eyes. He smiles faintly when their eyes meet. "...Keep doing that?"

"...Keep doing what?"

"...Keep... making sure... that I'm okay..."

"Because you're my little brother. I have to, don't I?"

"...No... You don't... I can take care of myself, hyung..."

"I can't live knowing that you're not okay. Please. Just let me do something to make things right again."

"I'll be alright if you just let me be alone." Sejin looks at him with sad eyes, trying to keep him near himself but Sehun keeps going further into the corner of his bed, away from his big brother who sighs in defeat.

"...Okay. But I'll come check up on you in an hour, okay?"

"...But why...? It was just a little hit... it's not like I don't get punched around for picking up fights at school all the time."

"...Because otherwise... I won't be able to sleep at night..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a nice holiday and have a happy new year!   
> I will start updating this fic for every other Sunday now, since we're hitting the point where I no longer have ready chapters... orz


	25. Be Normal

\- June -

Sehun walks in the hallways of the school before seeing Minseok. They lock eye contact for a while and the younger cannot keep in his anger. He can practically feel his fists becoming harder and his face starting to heat up as he rushes towards the senior, grabs his collar and pushes him against the lockers. There doesn't seem to be anyone near them, so Minseok takes the chance to smack Sehun right across the face and push him away from himself.

Sehun doesn't take it too kindly. He lashes out at Minseok, grips his collar and kicks his stomach. Minseok crouches and grabs Sehun by the waist, pulling them both on the ground, Minseok now laying on top of Sehun. The younger one rolls them over and straddles Minseok's lap, starting to punch his face with full force. Minseok hides his face before hitting Sehun in the crotch, making Sehun immediately fall off him.

"What the hell man?" Minseok asks as he stands up, kicking Sehun once while the younger grunts, holding his crotch.

"That wasn't fair. Fight like a man," he says. Minseok rolls his eyes.

"You jumped me. Came out of nowhere. And you're talking about fair?" Minseok questions as he kicks Sehun again, earning a huff from the younger.

"Well, you killed Junmyeon-"

"Just get over it, alright? It's been four months already. You're the most pathetic piece of human trash that I have ever seen. Just run back to your hyung like you always do. And I know you do. I knew him."

"Don't talk about my brother. God knows you might kill him too..."

"I don't- You're really starting to piss me off, alright?" Minseok huffs, grabs Sehun by the collar and helps him up just to push him against the lockers and hit him so hard that his lip starts bleeding. Sehun holds his head when he falls on his knees, now faced with Minseok's crotch. He pushes the senior student by his hips, making the other fall on his butt. Sehun quickly jumps on him as he starts punching his face again, gripping him by the collar.

"I... hate... you..." he says between the punches as he watches blood gush out of Minseok's nose. Minseok has thrown his head back, looking up, trying to grab Sehun but it's obvious that his vision is blurring.

But Sehun has to admit that Minseok is stronger than him and can throw him off himself, onto the ground and he throws himself on Sehun's chest, successfully drawing out the air from Sehun's lungs. He lets out a long breath and stares up at the ceiling, holding his chest where Minseok is just staring at him with an irritated look on his face. His lip and nose are bleeding, his cheek is bruised. Sehun never hits the eye. Minseok keeps glaring at him when he's trying to breathe.

"Do you... understand... the gravity of this situation...? I  _ could _ kill you," Minseok threatens. "I have my gang."

"...Minseok... I...  _ will _ ... kill-" And before he can say anything more, the other student hits his diaphragm with his elbow, knocking the air out of him again. Tears well up in Sehun's eyes and he feels vomit burning in his throat. Just then Minseok pushes his knee against Sehun's crotch and presses down hard. Sehun winces and tries to kick the senior student away from himself, but then they hear a voice that makes them both jump away from each other.

"To the principal's office. Immediately," their math teacher says with a determined look on his face. Minseok's eyes widen and he suddenly gets on his knees, goes towards the teacher and starts begging for his life.

"No, wait, this is a misunderstanding, he attacked me-"

"The teachers are not oblivious to what's happening in the school, Minseok. You're both going to the principal's office immediately. I'm going to make sure of that."

Sehun tries to catch his breath as he heaves, laying on his side. He takes one deep breath before sitting up and with the help of the math teacher stands up. The three of them make their way into the principal's office in silence.

And the principal, seeing his two  _ favorite _ students again, is immediately bothered. He sighs deeply and looks down at the table, motioning them to come forward.

"What happened?" he asks.

"They were fighting."

"I can see it from the way they look. I'm going to call both your parents. And we're going to have a meeting with the five of us. Right now." Sehun gulps. What if Yongsoo hits him again? He hasn't been able to forget the time it happened. And for some reason that slap hurt more than Minseok knocking his winds out and squeezing his nuts.

First the nurse checks them both, just to say that they're fine. Then they have to sit around for a while, outside the principal's office, just sitting awkwardly while waiting for their parents. Sehun keeps glaring at Minseok from under his eyebrows and Minseok doesn't have to look to know that he's staring.

"Is Sejin going to come here?"

"He's not my legal guardian. That's a stupid question."

"But I'm sure he's worried."

"He's studying. At the university."

"Too bad neither of us is going to one."

"I'm going to be a police officer. Or... a firefighter. Or..." Minseok starts laughing out loud, hiding his mouth a little. Sehun looks at the ground, feeling ashamed of himself for even telling any of this to his enemy.

"Just like all the kids. I wanted to be a police officer when I was 7, too." Sehun grunts and starts glaring at him again, Minseok now looking at him back mischievously. 

"Why can't you be normal?"

"I don't know. Why can't you?" Minseok asks, tilting his head. He has his leg thrown over the other and he's sitting very femininely. Sehun is quite proud of how swollen he made Minseok's face, but he hates it that the other can still speak through it. And pretend that he's fine. "Faggot."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Go ahead. I'm looking forward to know how you're going to end my life." Sehun grits his teeth and comes closer to him, but just then their parents walk into the room. Yongsoo looks dead serious and Sehun immediately looks up at him with big eyes, trying to fake his innocence. Yongsoo wraps his arms on his chest and furrows his eyebrows.

"This better be important. I had to cease my work just so I could come here. I don't have all the time in the world, I have a lot of programming to do for today," he says and sighs deeply when Sehun looks at the boy behind him. Minseok doesn't even look at his mother who's scolding him. Sehun eavesdrops them and ignores his father.

"I told you the last time would be the last straw. You know I won't just stay here and watch as you turn your life into a mess, and I certainly won't let Minjun see you or be in any contact with you-"

"As if she even wanted," Minseok blurts out, making his mother furious. He locks eye contact with Sehun and then they just stare at each other as their parents keep scolding them.

The principal comes out his office and tells them all to get inside. And they do, after the principal. All four of them sit down before the principal who takes out some papers and a pen.

"I need you all to sign these. These are official documents. You are both expelled."

Sehun gasps. His head gets dizzy. He of all people is getting expelled? How is he going to save everyone from Minseok's gang now? How is he going to stop the bullying cycle if he's not even in school? And worst, what is he going to do with his life? He can't just stay home and do nothing, his father would definitely not approve that.

When he gently turns to look at his father, he sees that the old man is quiet and just keeps breathing heavily. He would like to ask if he's mad at him, but he figures it goes without saying. Yongsoo's face has just dropped, his face looks like a blank canvas, like he'd just seen a ghost.

He turns to look at Minseok who stares at the principal with wide eyes, a betrayed look on his face. His jaw has dropped.

"You can't just expel me, this is my last year! Please, just... just this last year," Minseok begs but his mother doesn't even look surprised. She looks annoyed, her eyebrows furrowed. She has a very stern look on her face, like she hated everything that's around her. Especially her own son. They look very similar.

"I've given you chances, Minseok, but I guess it goes without saying that you make other students in this school feel unsafe. It has recently come to my attention that you have quite the organized crime circle here. You should be thankful you're not arrested."

"You should be arrested," Minseok's mother says to her son who huffs.

"Is there any way Sehun could come back to school?" Yongsoo asks. The principal sits back at his chair.

"Well, not into this high school, and without an evaluation from a psychologist, I don't think he can re-enroll in any school. We both know that your son has not been in good condition since the death of Kim Junmyeon and some of the students feel scared around him for accusing others and being violent. I don't want my students to feel unsafe in this school."

"Unsafe? What about those people that Minseok has been purposefully tormenting?" Sehun dares to ask but Yongsoo grabs his arm and squeezes it tight. Sehun's head drops.

"You of all people should know that ending bullying is easier said than done. I don't know the students personally and I don't know what goes on when nobody comes forward with the information. I can't go and accuse people."

"Like Sehun," Minseok huffs and glares at the younger student. Sehun glares back at him.

"I know you killed him," Sehun says for the nth time and Minseok's expression changes from angry to somewhat sad and apologetic before he looks at the ground and shakes his head. Sehun squints.

"I need you to sign these papers. I also have a number of reports to give you respectively, for all the times a teacher has brought either of your sons into my office. Take a good look at these at home and evaluate the situation then. I think we can all agree that something needs to be done and it is on your shoulders to decide what. And my decision was to expel you based on your recent behavior." The principal hands them the documents and reports and Yongsoo signs them silently.

The four walk out the office. Minseok's mother keeps yelling at Minseok for being so irresponsible and throwing his whole future down the drain. She keeps saying that he can't just do that. Sehun and Minseok share a look before they're taken away by their parents, into their respective vehicles. Minseok's mother has a very rusty car, unlike Yongsoo's. It's in very good condition, Yongsoo paid a lot to get it.

They sit in the car in silence. Yongsoo breathes deeply and just sits there, leaning on the car wheel and staring into the distance before lowering his head and sighing deeply. Sehun keeps staring at him, sure that his father is going to say something bad about him soon - maybe that he's fucked up his whole future and asks if he has any idea what he just did.

But nothing happens. Sehun keeps shivering, fearing what goes on in his father's head as they drive home in silence, Sehun skimming through the reports and documents. He must admit that it doesn't look good for him, but it isn't his fault. He just tried to help people, save someone. And instead he got kicked out of school. How is that fair?

Once they reach their home, Yongsoo takes the reports and documents from Sehun and just walks inside. Sehun follows him silently and obediently.

"I thought you're going back to work," he says quietly but his father doesn't even turn to look at him, he just walks into the kitchen after taking off his shoes and his jacket, landing his suitcase and the papers on the kitchen table. Sehun keeps observing him for a while, watching as he paces through the kitchen, rubbing his face and then it hits Sehun like a bag of rocks.

He doesn't want to see his father cry. Not because of him again. So he runs up the stairs to lock himself in his room, lay on the bed and hug himself, wondering what's going to happen next.

Sejin is going to be worried. So are his friends.

This is unfair. He should be adored for helping out those people, not expelled.

His thoughts drift to last year. A year ago when he finally realized he likes Junmyeon, when he realized he wasn't like the other boys. When all his dreams and thoughts started to swirl with the images of Junmyeon. Dreams of him. Memories of him.

Memories of him.

He grips the sheet and lets the tears flow down on the bed. He sniffles and hides his face, trying to make the tears stop but he feels his body being out of his control as he starts shivering rapidly and sobbing audibly.

A year ago his father wasn't this disappointed in him. A year ago his brother ate something. A year ago his mother... was as invisible and absent in his life as she is now. 

Everything was better a year ago. Sehun starts punching his pillow, imagining it as Minseok's face. He keeps chanting the words, "I'll kill him," in his mind, mouthing them out loud. He hears his mother starting to ask questions from his father but Sehun is sure he just hands her the papers and lets her see for herself. Silence falls there.

Until he hears steps coming upstairs. His mother is the last person he wants to see right now so he keeps punching the pillow harder, letting out all his frustration. It doesn't help, of course, Jangmi still opens the door.

"...Sehun... Calm down..." Jangmi says but Sehun keeps abusing the pillow. She walks closer and grabs his fist and for some reason she has quite the grip. Sehun is mesmerized by her strength. He keeps his eyes down as he sits down in defeat, his mother sitting next to him and starting to caress his hair. "I know the last few months have been a shitshow. You have a lot of anger in you, I get it. But... it... hurts us all to see you punish yourself this way. You have to make peace with his death sooner or later."

"...Why... does everyone... always... keep... saying that...?" Sehun grits through his teeth. She tilts her head and keeps soothing his hair before drying his tears with her sleeve. Sehun just lets it happen. "How would you react if Dad died...?"

"Me and Yongsoo have been together for almost three decades. It's different. But eventually, I would have to make my peace with it as well. Death is a part of life. Someday me and your father will die, too. You can't just throw a fit and keep destroying yourself every time someone close to you leaves this world. And... if it helps, then... you could pray with me. You could come to church with me."

"I don't want to surround myself with people who think I'm going to hell."

"...Ah... I didn't even think of that... You know, there are a lot of christians who have homosexual tendencies, too. I don't think it's any of our right to judge. After all, you can't... help it, can you?"

Sehun raises his head a little to look at his mother in the eyes. Jangmi offers him a gentle smiles and presses their foreheads together. Sehun looks down again.

"...Who told you that...?"

"You." She boops his nose with her finger once and Sehun squints. She's making a serious topic into a mess again. "I am a little disappointed that you got expelled. Your brother is not going to like it. Your father's a mess. But I know that you're strong, you're a tough boy and you'll find your way in life, even without a high school diploma. You know, I never got a high school diploma either... It has proven to be quite convenient to have found a good man like Yongsoo. You know, as a last option, you should find yourself a... if not rich, then hardworking, man."

"...But I... I wanna be a... in a... position where... I can help people... save people..."

"There's no right job for that and there's no right time for that. You don't have to get paid to be able to help people. You don't have to take a risky job to help people. All you need to do is be yourself and live life... opportunities will present themselves to you."

"...Okay..." Sehun calms down a bit finally. Jangmi leaves a kiss on his forehead and hugs him tight. Last time he got hugs from his mother was when he was at the hospital... when Minseok's guys beat him up. It feels a little weird, but this is all he needed.

He sighs deeply and presses his head on his mother's shoulder, letting the tears flow onto her flower pattern shirt. 


	26. Used To Be

_ Minseok: Let's meet. _ _   
_ _ Minseok: This is all your fault. _ _   
_ __ Minseok: I want to fight you.

_ Sehun: Deal. Where _

_ Minseok: Since I know you're going to lose, you should decide the place. And no backup. _

_ Sehun: Sure. I'll send you the address _

Sehun types in the place where he always meets his friends. It's been a week and he's done nothing but lay in bed and occasionally see his friends. It has given him a lot of time to spend with his mother and to his surprise it has been awkward only 70 per cent of the time.

He's dying in boredom, though, so he's going to meet Minseok to show him who's the boss. Of course, Minseok has practiced hapkido, but Sehun has mastered street fighting... at least in his mind. At least he's good at swinging his arms around and kicking under pressure.

His big brother and father aren't home. Jangmi is still sleeping, she always sleeps until noon... and goes to sleep early in the evening. If she could, she would probably sleep all the time.

The air is clear and sunny, unlike Sehun's mind as he walks over to the place where Minseok already is, taking a good look around the place, inspecting every single detail. He's staring at a few stray empty cans.

Once the younger one enters the building, he pushes the other boy so hard that he hits the wall. Minseok groans and furrows his eyebrows but gets back up immediately.

"I was just about to say this place looks nice," Minseok huffs. "But then you almost killed me."

"I failed there. I should have killed you."

"Why do you want to kill me so bad?" Minseok asks as Sehun hits his fist towards Minseok's face, but the older one dodges with ease.

"Why do you think?!" Sehun yells and tries to hit Minseok again, failing miserably.

"Hmm. Because I'm the bad guy in your hero fantasies? Because you're mentally 12 or something?" he asks, dancing around Sehun's punches. Finally he grabs Sehun's collar and pushes him against the wall, dealing a blow to his face that sends Sehun seeing stars.

"You... You have a gang... And you do all bad things together..."

"You really piss me off, you know that?"

"...You get pissed off easily," Sehun grunts. Minseok sighs deeply.

"It's your fault that I was kicked out from school! This would have been it! My final year! It's all because of you!" Minseok yells when throwing Sehun on the ground with ease. He rolls around in the dirt, breathing it in and coughing it out. He has so much energy that he stands up easily, but Minseok throws him back on the ground on his butt. He looks up at Minseok from beneath his eyebrows.

Suddenly something drips on his shirt. It's his blood, coming from his nose.

"What are you gonna do now? Go and cry to your big brother?" Minseok asks. "You spoiled brat."

He kicks Sehun, but the younger one grabs his foot and manages to make him lose his footing. He falls on his back, grunting.

"...It's your fault that I was kicked out," Sehun pants. "It is all your fault! None of this would have happened!"

"I have my reasons, you know," Minseok huffs when Sehun crawls towards him, grabs his collar and manages to punch him once before the older one throws him off himself, onto the ground. Sehun tries to kick him but fails miserably.

"I don't believe you."

"You should." Minseok stands up and takes a stance, his fists in the air before him. He motions Sehun to come at him when the younger one stands up as well, looking at him with half-lidded eyes, panting heavily.

"No."

"Your loss. You could be a part of something big, you know," Minseok says before Sehun charges at him, trying to hit him, but Minseok pokes him in various places of his body. It hurts like hell and he collapses on the ground, holding every spot that Minseok violated.

The older one huffs, places his boot on Sehun's chest and observes him. Sehun spits on the ground. The boot on his chest makes it harder for him to breathe. He looks up at Minseok's eyes, those cold, emotionless eyes. They are the image of evil inside Sehun's head.

"I won," he says before sitting on the ground next to Sehun, combing his hands through his own hair and looking everywhere but at Sehun. The younger one furrows his eyebrows when staring at Minseok intently.

"I will never stop fighting," Sehun says. Minseok rolls his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I will always fight for what's right."

"Why?"

"Because that's the right thing to do."

"Why?" Minseok keeps asking while tilting his head on the side. Sehun grunts and furrows his eyebrows.

"What why?"

"Why do you want to fight for what's right? It's super cringy."

"...Because...! It's the right thing to do...!"

"That doesn't mean you have to do it. And, after all, what does right and wrong mean in the end, really? Does it mean that... everyone who has money has the right to live healthy and happy?"

"What? No. Everyone should be able to be healthy."

"Some people don't have that, you know," Minseok says when finally looking at the ground. "I don't."

"Well that's because you've done a lot of bad things," Sehun huffs.

"Have I?" Minseok asks when staring at Sehun in the eye, tilting his head to the side again. Sehun squints at him. "How do you know that?"

"Because you hurt people."

"Have I always hurt people?" Minseok asks, making Sehun wonder. Just then more painful memories of Junmyeon rush into his mind.

"...No."

Minseok's eyes widen and he blinks a few times innocently.

"You and Junmyeon used to be friends."

Minseok lets out a laughter when looking up at the holes in the ceiling. He starts to laugh out loud, lowly, but only for a little while. His voice fills the place and echoes between the plate walls. Sehun doesn't understand what's so funny about this.

"Just because I was his friend doesn't mean I was a good person."

"Junmyeon said you were okay then. You were best friends."

"People change," Minseok says when playing with his fingernails. Sehun looks up at the sky and feels a single raindrop fall in his eye, so he has to close them.

"You can still change."

"You think so? That I'm redeemable or something?" Minseok asks, cocking his eyebrow. Sehun hums and nods his head.

"Yes. If you just start doing good things."

"How do you know I'm not doing good things?"

"Because you hurt people!"

"How do you know you're not hurting people?"

"Because..." Sehun starts but immediately shuts himself up. He keeps looking at the sky. "...I..."

"Yeah, you don't know."

"Yes, I do! I'm fighting bad people, like you!"

"Wow. What a hero," Minseok says when rolling his eyes, snapping his fingers on Sehun's forehead. The younger one grunts and takes his distance to the other boy.

"You killed Junmyeon. I know that," Sehun says and sits up, grunting and holding his forehead. Minseok immediately becomes silent and he looks at the ground with a sad look on his face. Sehun tilts his head. The older one shakes his head.

"...I didn't. I didn't kill him. It was an accident. Accidents happen." Minseok says that with a sad tone in his voice, silent, while playing with his sleeves. 

"Why did you stop being friends?"

Silence falls between them. Minseok keeps playing with his sleeves before standing up and walking away.

"...We should meet again in a week."

With those words he leaves the scene. Sehun keeps laying on the ground, trying to muster up his strength. He knows someone at home will scold him again, but he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't even have to go to school anymore.

***

And just as he expected, his big brother is at the door as soon as Sehun takes a step inside, gasping and worrying.

"Not this again. Have you eaten anything? Are you hungry?" Sejin asks when tailing behind Sehun who's walking upstairs to his room. He simply rolls his eyes when feeling his big brother loom behind him. "Where the hell did you get those bruises from?"

Sehun doesn't say anything, just sits on his bed. It's impossible to leave his brother without attention since Sejin is invading his personal space, touching his face and hissing at every little bruise.

"You were supposed to stay home with Mom today! Why did you go out? With who? Who did this? Where?" he keeps asking questions that Sehun simply doesn't want to answer. He knows Sejin won't like the answer, so he doesn't say anything. 

Sejin sits on the edge of the bed, right next to Sehun, and hugs him tight. Maybe it makes the big brother feel more at ease, but to Sehun, it doesn't feel like anything at all at the moment. 


	27. Promise

\- July -

As Sehun is cleaning the house, he notices that the window throws open. He runs to it immediately. The curtains flow in the wind. His mother is doing cross stitches on the couch.

"It got a little chilly," she says to her son, looks up at him and smiles very gently. He just hangs his mouth open.

He won't tell his mother, but he knows. Oh, he knows, he did that.

"Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Can I ask you about something?" Sehun asks, making his mother tilt her head to the side.

"What is it?"

"How would you react if... I had supernatural powers?" As soon as those words leave his mouth, the mother's expression changes. Her mouth becomes a thin line and she makes a piercing eye contact with Sehun.

"I would be very, very worried. Why would you ask that?"

"No reason..." he says as he fiddles with his sleeves.

"Yongsoo has told me, you know. That you... have... said that you think you can control the wind."

"Eh... It was just a joke, you know, I wouldn't believe something like that..." Sehun says but looks down. It's better to keep his mother in the dark about this. He has already told too many people. They might expose him. 

"Sehun. Look at me," she says with a stern voice. The son raises his head slowly. "Do not joke about that."

He turns to look at the ground again and leaves the room with nothing else to say. His mother has never been that serious about anything. 

***

Sehun goes to him and his friends' meeting place to see all of them looking at the ground in thought. They're sitting on the floor, watching the dust float down. A small spider runs towards Jungkook but he crushes it without batting an eye.

The second youngest boy who just arrived at the scene raises his arms on his hips and looks at all his friends individually. Smiling has been too hard lately, but it's nice that his friends have their vacation now. Now they can spend all their time together practicing and plotting against Minseok's gang.

"Okay, so-" he starts but Baekhyun cuts him off immediately.

"Just shut up," he raises his voice and turns his head to glare at Sehun. The younger one is visibly startled, his shoulders reaching up to his ears. "I am so sick of your bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Baekhyun says. Amber and Jungkook keep their heads down in the midst of the conflict. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell this to you, but lately you've just been so horrible. The past months! Ever since Junmyeon..." He tries to speak but his voice breaks, so he takes a deep breath. Sehun furrows his eyebrows. "You have gone completely crazy. You don't make sense anymore. I wanted to take down Minseok's gang as much as you did in the beginning, but it's all you talk about now. And that controlling the wind thing? Spare me. I've heard enough."

He stands up and walks towards Sehun. The younger has grown past him. Still, Baekhyun is more muscular than him, still knows how to fight better than him. His mouth is in a thin line as he steps right in front of Sehun and looks him deep in the eye. Sehun stands completely still.

"I'm worried about you. I really am. I think you should visit a mental hospital. But... I can't be your friend just out of pity, you know. I have a life and I would like to live it on my own terms. You have no life other than Minseok. You know, a little 'how are you' would be nice sometimes. How are you, Sehun? How are you really?"

Sehun grits his teeth. "I'll be fine when  _ he's dead _ ."

Baekhyun looks at Sehun from head to toe with a shocked look on his face. Even Jungkook and Amber have now turned to look at him, both of them with serious eyes. Sehun keeps glaring, staring deeper into Baekhyun's soul.

"Do you listen to yourself? Do you understand how wrong that is? You wish for somebody's  _ death _ ? Just because of some high school drama?" But he shouldn't have said those words. Sehun grabs his collar and pushes him against the wall. Now Jungkook and Amber jump up and grab Sehun's arms, pulling him away from Baekhyun. The older boy keeps staring at him with a shocked and betrayed look on his face.

"Junmyeon's death was his fault. I'm going to make him pay for it."

"It was a fucking accident! It. Was. An. Accident! Oh my god! I understand you're in pain, of course you are, he was your boyfriend and your first love! But this is not a healthy way to cope with it! You need help! You're insufferable! I hate you! You make me feel so horrible! I wish I had never been friends with you!" Baekhyun keeps screaming. Tears rush in his eyes but he shakes them away. Sehun looks away now. "I don't... want to see you anymore. Please. Don't talk to me."

The older boy runs away from the alleyway, away from the three. Amber and Jungkook keep looking after him, but Sehun has his head down. He's not sure what to think. Baekhyun has never been that mad at him. But for what reason? He's just trying to do the right thing by standing up to Minseok. He wants to  _ kill  _ Minseok for  _ killing  _ Junmyeon. It's the only solution to his anguish.

And now that he's got supernatural powers (that he's not quite sure how to control yet), everything should be dandy.

"...I'll kill him..." Sehun mutters. "...He should pay... For what he's done... Even if it's the last thing I did... I'll kill him... I don't need your help... I don't need anyone's help... I'll do it myself..."

Sehun raises his head when he hears crying and sniffling. Tears are rushing down Amber's face as she keeps looking at her friend whispering death threats to Minseok.

"...P-please... stop..." she sobs. Seeing her tears fall down on the concrete pulls Sehun back on earth.

He has never seen her cry that way.

He turns his head to see his best friend staring at him with big eyes. They're not emotionless, no - his eyes are filled with something. Sehun can't quite point out what it is, but Jungkook's eyes are big and they keep observing every inch of Sehun's face. His eyes, nose, cheeks, lips.

Worry, maybe.

The same kind of face he has seen oh so many times on his brother.

***

There's a knock on Sehun's door. He figures it's just his brother, so he doesn't reply anything - after all, Sejin usually just invites himself in. He lays in his bed and reads his comics, wearing only his pyjamas. He hasn't even showered in few days.

But there is another knock. Sehun sighs deeply before getting up from his bed and opening the door.

"Yeah, yeah, what is it-" he starts but stops himself the moment he sees someone other than his brother. It's none other than Taehyung, Junmyeon's perv friend who met at the con. "Who let you in? How do you know where I live?"

"Relax. I asked about you from Jongin. He gave me your address."

"How about giving me a call first?" 

"I wanted to see you in person," Taehyung says. For some reason he seems concerned. Sehun looks at him from head to toe. Why Taehyung of all people? "Can I come in?"

"If you're not bothered by my lack of proper clothing and the fact that I smell then be my guest." Taehyung smiles gently and walks inside. His eyes are immediately latched onto the many superhero posters on his walls.

"Wow. Junmyeon didn't lie," he says. Sehun closes the door after him and sits on the bed, sighing.

"Why would he?" 

"Well... let's not get into that," Taehyung says and sits next to Sehun on his bed. "I wanted to talk about you. How you're doing."

"...I'm fine..."

"Jongin said something different."

"Why would you believe him?"

"Because he seems like a genuinely nice guy..." Taehyung reasons. "He told me that you've been violent at school, which is why you were expelled last month."

Sehun doesn't know what to say to that. He sits against the wall and hugs his knees.

"It's been a few months since he passed away," Taehyung says. "He meant a lot to all of us. He was the first guy I was with, he was my best friend..."

"...Did you love him?"

"...As a friend, yes, I did. I still do," the older one says but a sob escapes his lips. Sehun's lips start to quiver.

"...I still love him too," he says and hides his face in his hands. He starts to cry violently, his whole body shaking. 

"Can I hug you?" Taehyung asks and Sehun nods. He comes closer and wraps his arms around him. "You know... I could give you my number. Maybe we could help each other get over this... together. I haven't... been to school in four months. It's just so painful..."

"...Okay..." Sehun sobs against his hands. 

"I promise we'll get through this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. This is the last chapter I have pre-written so I might take a couple month hiatus to get more chapters done. Or then I'll just publish them as I get them done... Anyway. I'll try to get more chapters done. ^^


	28. Knowledge

Sehun and Minseok meet again, in the place that once was sacred of Minseok's presence. Now the older boy has defiled it and it no longer brings Sehun joy or a sense of safety. Now it's just Minseok.

Minseok throws Sehun on the ground, on his back, and the younger one groans. He looks up at Minseok who simply tilts his head and looks at him with half-lidded, bored eyes. Sehun tries to catch his breath.

"It's all your fault..." Sehun exhales. "All corrupt..."

"What are you talking about?" Minseok asks with a monotone voice.

"...Your gang... it made so many people... feel so horrible..."

"My gang has dissolved," Minseok says and Sehun stops breathing for a moment. "What I did there helped many people. But you wouldn't be able to wrap your head around that now would you?"

"Since when?"

"Since when what?"

"It dissolved."

"Since I was expelled. There was no one else who wanted to take the role of a leader and Jongdae and Tao said they wanted to focus on their studies. A bunch of hypocrites."

"I don't believe you."

"You can believe what you want. It won't change the fact that even the few friends I had all left me," Minseok says, now with a sad voice and sits on the ground next to Sehun. He leans his arms on his knees. Sehun sits up slowly, looking at Minseok from head to toe, as if to scan if he's genuine. "You can believe that I'm a monster. I guess it's a matter of perspective. The money that we stole from the rich kids was for the bills and medication that the people in my gang needed. Kind of like Robin Hood."

"In Robin Hood's story, the rich stole from the poor and Robin Hood stole it back. Junmyeon never stole anything from any of you."

"...How can you be so sure?" Minseok asks and turns to look at Sehun whose eyebrows are furrowed. He has a gash on his cheek. It's bleeding. Minseok's face looks pristine. "What is right? What is wrong? How can you be so sure of what the right thing is?"

"...I just know it," Sehun says without further thinking. He knows that Minseok is bad, he knows what good and bad is. It isn't a matter of perspective for him.

"How do you just know it?"

"Because... in the movies they-"

"I want you to forget those movies," Minseok says and tilts his head. His eyes are so dark and compelling, Sehun feels hypnotized by them. "Just think about me. About your friends. About  _ real life _ . Have you forgotten what that is?"

"...No," Sehun says and shakes his head. Minseok is bad, he knows this, and whatever bad thing Minseok is trying to manipulate him into, it's not going to work.

"I just want you to understand me, Sehun."

"You're not the only one who's losing friends. Baekhyun left me," Sehun says and hugs his knees. He lets out a deep sigh and feels Minseok's eyes wander on his body.

"I am not surprised. You can be very controlling." Sehun raises his head slowly and turns to look at Minseok, bewildered. As soon as their eyes meet, Minseok looks away. He looks up, through the hole in the ceiling.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't leave much in the way of conversation. You just tell other people what the right thing is. You tell everyone what to do. Have you ever considered just listening?"

"...But I know what the right thing is. I know I'm right."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because... I just know! I know I'm right! Your manipulation won't work on me!"

"...Do you even know what manipulation means?" Minseok asks and sighs deeply. "It makes me sad that you feel this way about me. What I've told you is the truth, all of it."

"The things you've said about Junmyeon. They're all false."

"They're false just because you want them to be. Reality can so often be so... How do I put this... Opinionated?" Minseok looks up with such a thoughtful look on his face. He looks so different from what Sehun is used to. Maybe it's just a manipulation tactic, Sehun wonders. "I don't want to blame you for thinking the way you do. I don't want to blame you for anything bad that you've done to me. I mean it is your fault that we both got expelled and ruined our whole futures, but... if you change, maybe stop telling me everything is my fault and that I killed my ex-best friend, I could forgive you."

"But you did kill him."

Minseok's head hangs low and he sighs deeply.

"I'm not your fucking therapist. You need help," he says and gets up quickly. He starts walking away without sparing at glance at Sehun again. "I'll be here next week, same time."

"Wait," Sehun says but the older boy doesn't seem to hear it, or maybe he just doesn't care. Either way Sehun just sits there for a moment. He's ashamed to admit it, but Minseok is the only one lately who's been having actual conversations with him. Amber is avoiding him, Baekhyun left him for good, Jungkook doesn't really know how to talk, his father is still avoiding him and being easily irritated, his mother is her usual self which means she barely ever talks and his big brother doesn't seem to stop worrying.

He's not ready to go back home. Not ready to lay in the bottom of his bed another day and feel nothing anymore. Whenever he's around Minseok, he at least feels something, even if that feeling is negative. 

But lately it's been more positive.

***

After sitting on the concrete for quite some time, Sehun finally went home. As soon as he opens the door, the sounds of a Spiderman movie reach his ears. He takes his shoes off, jumps on the couch and onto his brother who just lets out a deep 'oof'.

"Where were you?" he asks with a worried tone in his voice. Sehun sits up and takes some distance from his brother. He would be closer, but it's so hot and sweaty to do so.

"I was out with my friends? I didn't know I had to tell you everything," Sehun says and raises his legs on the couch so that he can hug his knees. He ignores the worried look Sejin gives him and proceeds to glue his eyes on Peter Parker. Sejin slowly turns his eyes to the TV screen.

"...You used to."

"You don't have to worry about me all the time."

"I don't like this 17-year-old Sehun."

"Whatever."

"What's gotten to you?"

"Uhm, maybe that you're treating me like a fucking child even though I'm almost an adult?" Sehun asks, making Sejin's eyebrows furrow.

"I know it's hard but you can't treat-"

"Stop saying that! Stop saying that you know it's hard for me! Just shut up!" Sehun suddenly yells and hides his head. Sejin does shut up. He purses his lips together and just looks at the TV screen with a serious look on his face.

Sehun takes a few deep breaths before raising his head, leaning it on his arms and looking at the movie as well. Seeing Peter trying out different ways to control his webs gives Sehun an idea. Maybe he should try out different ways to control the wind. If only he could learn how to control it, he could take down anyone he wanted. Maybe he could even create a hurricane? But what if he did create a hurricane and it would spiral out of control? And what if nobody believes him? 

But most of all, people would look up to him. All of this hard work would finally pay off and he would be adored. His father would finally accept him, his brother would stop worrying and withering away, his mother would be proud of him, Baekhyun would come back, Minseok would be defeated...

It would all be so much better if he learned how to do it. Now he only knows that he has potential that nobody believes in.

"...Is everything alright?" Sejin asks and Sehun throws him with a pillow. "Okay. I get it. I won't talk to you. Although I miss talking to you."

"All you do is worry. I don't need your worry."

"Then what do you want?"

Sehun takes a moment to think. What does he actually want from his brother? Surely he has his love and caring. But there's something else his brother hasn't given him, and that is support for the only thing that seems to matter to him anymore - becoming a hero. 

"...I want you to believe me. And support me," Sehun says with a mumbly voice. Sejin furrows his eyebrows and takes a deep breath, looking at the ground.

"...You have my support. You know that. I don't care who you fall in love with as long as-"

"I'm not talking about that."

"...Whatever you decide to do with your future, I support you-"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"But it's crazy," Sejin says. "I... can't talk about this."

"Then let's not talk about it."

"You don't need my support and acceptance in everything that you do, you know. I don't have your support and acceptance in everything that I do, either. When even was the last time that you asked about me? When even was the last time you cared about anybody other than yourself or Minseok?"

"I care about a lot of people."

"No, you don't. You only care about yourself."

Sehun sits up hastily, picks up another pillow and starts hitting his brother with it as hard as he can. Unfortunately his brother is nothing but a pile of bones now, no fat or muscle on him, so his defense isn't very good. All he does is crawl into a small ball.

"Hey!" their father's voice echoes through the room when he quickly comes over to Sehun and grabs his hands, effectively stopping him from violating his brother. Sejin stands up as soon as the pillow stops hitting him, goes upstairs to grab his backpack and then leaves the house. Yongsoo is trying his hardest to contain Sehun who keeps squirming around in his arms.

Yongsoo grabs his arm and starts dragging him upstairs to his room.

"Let me go!" Sehun screams. Even the mother has come to observe the situation. She walks over to her son but keeps her distance, otherwise she'll have his fist in her face.

"Sehun, do as your father tells you to."

"You're grounded," Yongsoo says.

"I'm 17! You can't do that!" Sehun yells.

"Yes, we can!" the father says.

"No! Let me go!"

Sehun almost hits his father but Yongsoo grabs both his arms and drags him up the stairs. Unfortunately Sehun isn't stronger than his father, so he's dragged in his room. Yongsoo closes the door behind them and Sehun pushes his chest but the father grabs his wrists and forces him to sit down on the bed. Sehun looks up at Yongsoo, glaring.

"Are you gonna hit me again?" he asks with a serious voice. Yongsoo blinks a few times and tries to calm down. "I know you want to."

"I don't, Sehun, I don't want to hurt you. I think you should calm down."

"I think you should," Sehun says, making his father even more frustrated.

"I know you're mad, but-"

"Oh my god. I don't care."

"Just listen to me-"

"No." 

"Sehun-"

"I don't care!" Sehun yells and kicks his father's shin. Yongsoo bites his own lips, closes his eyes and looks up. He looks like he really wants to smack Sehun right about now.

"It hurts me to see you in so much pain."

"Well it's your fault. Maybe if you had accepted me in the first place I wouldn't be this way."

Yongsoo sighs deeply and looks at the wall behind his son. Sehun just keeps looking at his eyes.

"Perhaps."

"It's all your fault," Sehun says again. Yongsoo looks at him and sits down on the bed next to him gently.

"You know I love you, right?" 

"Don't lie."

At this point Yongsoo gives up. He sighs deeply again, lets go of his son and walks away. He locks the door on his way out and as soon as it's closed, Sehun tries to open it. It won't budge so he hits it and kicks it before hurting his ankle and falling on the ground. He lays down and stares up at the ceiling, thinking about Junmyeon again. Even after death, he's still his happy place.

But the more he thinks about Junmyeon, the sadder he becomes. He rolls on his side and the tears flow on the carpet.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'd take a short break from this fic to finish more chapters, but I actually just did.


	29. Arcade

\- August -

Sehun meets his friends again. At first he is almost happy about it - until he sees the look on Amber's face as they're standing there awkwardly while waiting for Jungkook. She used to be so happy around him, crack jokes with Baekhyun and the two would bring a smile on everyone's face. 

And now she's standing there alone, with her hands wrapped on her chest, as she looks at the ground. 

Before Jungkook even arrives, she breaks the silence by saying, "I can't do this anymore."

Sehun raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth but she continues.

"Whatever it is that we call it. Friendship? I don't think this has been that for a long time now. I understand losing him was hard but to... manipulate us even after 6 months... it's something else. And this wind thing... I don't think you're sane anymore. I've been tagging along for a long while now just because I felt pity for you. And it's not fair for you and it's not fair for me."

"So... what are you saying?" Sehun asks. His heart feels weird. Like someone was sitting on his chest.

"I don't think we should be friends anymore," she says and starts walking away. "I just wanted to tell you face-to-face. I genuinely want you to be happy, but I genuinely want to be happy too. You bring me down."

Sehun doesn't say anything. He just sits down on the ground and stares at the wall, a blank look on his face.

"Goodbye, Sehun," she says as she walks away. Sehun doesn't even know what to think anymore. Now this place reminds him of Minseok. Maybe it is Minseok who cursed this place and made him lose all his friends.

Yes.

That must be it.

After staring at the wall for who knows how long, a shadow falls upon him. He looks at the person who stands right in front of him, observing him. They share the same depressed look on their faces.

"She left," Sehun says with a monotone voice. Then he looks back at the wall. "She left..."

Jungkook simply offers him his hand. Sehun doesn't even look at it.

"I'll take you somewhere," Jungkook says. 

"Where?" Sehun asks and now looks at his friend again.

"You'll see."

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you." 

Sehun accepts his hand and stands up with his help. Even when they're already standing, Jungkook keeps holding Sehun's hand. The slightly younger one starts leading the way, away from the alleyway and to the streets.

"People are going to stare."

"You say all these things... that you'll be a hero. You know, seeing two boys holding hands in the streets, we could be someone's heroes," Jungkook says when looking straight ahead. Sehun wonders if he even blinks. 

"We're not saving a life."

"...We might be," Jungkook says thoughtfully.

"We're risking our own lives."

"Isn't that what heroes do?" Jungkook asks. And before Sehun even notices, they're out in the streets. Some people are already looking at them weirdly. A lot of people just glance, then look away. Some people even smile at them.

Sehun doesn't know if he feels super uncomfortable or empowered. That is, until he hears someone behind them say, "Faggots." He flinches upon hearing the word. He's too terrified to even face the one who said it.

But Jungkook squeezes his hand tighter and all his fears disappear.

They reach an arcade. Sehun's eyes light up. A very faint smile appears on Jungkook's lips.

"I said you'd like it."

"It's been so long," Sehun says and walks inside, still holding Jungkook's hand. There are many different machines to play with. All of them need money in order to work, but Jungkook has taken care of that. He shows his wallet that is full of small change.

They start blasting games that they used to play together when they were kids. Some one-person games they play together, you could say they're not following the rules but when do they? 

After a long, long while, Sehun sees a smile on Jungkook's face and he even feels his own cheeks hurting from all the laughing. It's a feeling he thought he'd never be able to experience again since Junmyeon passed away. 

And somehow Junmyeon's death passes his mind again and he feels guilty for having fun with his best friend. Jungkook notices that suddenly Sehun takes emotional and physical distance, his eyes staring into nothingness and lips forming a thin line.

Jungkook grabs his shoulder and walks him outside. "Let's go home," he says. Sehun just nods and follows Jungkook's lead. Sehun's home has been a home to them both ever since Jungkook set foot in the place. 

Yongsoo is waiting for his son in the hallway, about to remind him that he has curfew, but as soon as he sees Jungkook, his face changes from angry to worried. He looks away when Jungkook keeps holding Sehun's hand, taking him upstairs to his room.

And in there Sehun falls on the ground, sitting, staring into space. He falls down on his back and looks up at the ceiling. Jungkook lays down next to him, on the carpet, and stares at Sehun's thoughtful face.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" the slightly younger one asks. Sehun swallows dryly.

"Yeah."

"Then why did you become so gloomy?"

"Because I thought about him," Sehun says with an emotionless voice. Jungkook sighs deeply and puts his arm around him. 

"I just wanted to take your mind off him."

"You smiled," Sehun says and turns to Jungkook who keeps observing every inch of his face. 

"You smiled, too," Jungkook says.

"I haven't seen you smile in so long."

"I haven't seen you smile in so long either."

"I have nothing to smile about."

"Neither do I," Jungkook says and then smiles. "Except you."

"Why?" 

"Because you're still my best friend and I want to do something other than fight and cry with you." Sehun turns on his side to face Jungkook. 

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be."

Jungkook sits up and goes to Sehun's comic books, takes out one and lays in his bed, in the corner. Sehun follows him timidly, lays down next to him and leans his head on Jungkook's shoulder, not even reading the comic that's laid down before them. He just keeps looking at the pictures.

Minutes pass. The pages flipping is the only noise in the room. The sounds of traffic outside carry in the room as well Yongsoo's worried low voice when he speaks to the mother. It seems that the only thing around Sehun is worry. His brother has been distant since he attacked him with a pillow, spending many nights at his girlfriend's house and not initiating conversation with Sehun unless the younger brother specifically starts it. He's probably waiting for an apology that Sehun refuses to give him.

"...Two times this week," Jungkook starts and Sehun opens his eyes that were starting to close when exhaustion took over him. "He beat me up."

Sehun freezes for a moment. He doesn't know what to say to him that would make the situation better. "...I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to be," Jungkook says again. 

"I should have..."

"...Should have what?" 

"...Talked to you more..."

"...You're here now. That's all that matters," Jungkook says and flips another page. Sehun wonders if he's reading it either. Maybe he's just looking at the pictures like himself. 

"...But I should have."

"No. It's my fault for pushing you away."

"But I've been pushing everyone away. That's what Amber said..." 

"She's right. But we've both been pushing."

"Let's not do that," Sehun says and closes his eyes now. He's really sleepy.

"Sehun," Jungkook says and turns his head towards him. Sehun only hums as a reply. "Can I stay the night?"

"Of course."

"I just don't wanna go home."

"I understand. I wish I didn't have to be here, either," Sehun says but immediately regrets his words. This is a safe haven for Jungkook. "I mean..."

"I know. You've been doing nothing but chores and lay in bed since you were expelled."

"Yeah..."

"It sounds boring."

"It is."

They're laying in silence again. Sehun's eyes open slightly when he notices Jungkook's hand coming towards his, lacing their fingers together gently. His fingers feel so rough and so do his dry hands. Sehun's hands are in even worse condition because of the fights he has with Minseok. Despite being grounded, he still sneaks out to fight with Minseok. His father caught him once.

As time has passed, their fights have become less physical, more verbal, and overall a little tamer. And Sehun has told no one about their little secret meetings, not even his best friend who's now laced their fingers together. He looks thoughtful, but Sehun doesn't mind. He's just happy to be around Jungkook like this. 

Jungkook lays down on his side and Sehun does the same, so that they're facing each other. Sehun immediately closes his eyes but when he flutters them open, he sees Jungkook staring at him with the most serious look on his face. But that's just how Jungkook always looks.

"Is there something on my face?" Sehun asks curiously.

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Then why are you staring at me?"

"Because you have a nice face to look at."

Sehun blinks a few times slowly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's very symmetrical."

"...Thanks?" Sehun asks and smiles a little, closing his eyes again.

"Good night," Jungkook says. Their hands are still holding each other's. Sehun doesn't reply anything as he falls asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot I had to update yesterday! I'm so sorry! I was playing sims all weekend (like literally, over 20 hours orz).


	30. Hangover

Sehun is tossed on the ground yet again. Minseok stands before him, puts his boot on his chest and looks down on him. Sehun raises his hands and tries to catch his breath. He can feel a couple of bruises forming on his back and his arms, but other than that he's fine. Just enough so that his father won't suspect a thing... apart from the dirt on his clothes.

Minseok kicks his side just slightly, but Sehun is taken aback by it. It didn't feel pleasant but it didn't hurt either. He doesn't have the energy to sit up so Minseok keeps pacing around him, like flailing his victory and making sure Sehun wouldn't stand up.

"What do you want to blame me for this time?" the older one asks. Sehun keeps following him with his eyes.

"...You killed him... Just admit it..."

"It's been six months and you still blame me. You knew each other for a year, a little less? And you still keep telling me this. You must really believe that I killed him. Or, you're delusional."

"I'm not delusional. You're delusional for thinking that I would ever forgive you or believe you."

"But you believed me," Minseok says and crouches right above Sehun's face so that their faces are not so far from each other. Sehun can see his knees on either sides of his head. "When I told you he wasn't so innocent."

"I shouldn't have."

"You should have believed me more."

"No."

"I want to ask you something," Minseok says. His black eyes look so captivating, his face the same expression as always. It looks determined, rather than bored. Slightly irritated, as always. "What happened since the last time we met?"

"...Amber... left me..." Sehun says and swallows dryly.

"Your friend count keeps dropping like flies. Lucky for me I don't have friends, so I don't have to worry about that."

"...I only have Jungkook," Sehun says and it seems that it finally hits him. Jungkook is his only friend. He has even pushed his brother away so he doesn't really have anyone else to talk to. Only Jungkook and... Minseok.

"Are you lonely?" the older one asks. Sehun only stares at him. "...My mother kicked me out a while ago. I've been living in my father's trailer, doing anything just to keep alive..."

"So you've been stealing?"

"On top of other things."

"Do you want me to feel sorry for you?"

"No. I don't want you to feel sorry for me." Minseok keeps staring at him deep in his eyes. They look compelling. "I want you to come out with me."

Sehun furrows his eyebrows. Going out with Minseok is the last thing he wants.

But what does he have to do at home? 

"...Just because I'm bored," Sehun says. "Where?"

A smirk raises on Minseok's lips. Sehun doesn't know if it's a good thing. Maybe the other boy will hurt him.

Although, isn't that what they've been doing weekly since they were expelled? At this point Sehun trusts that Minseok hurts him one way or another. 

"I'll take you to my place. And we'll drink," Minseok says and offers his hand to the younger one who looks at it a few times before getting up without his help. Minseok also stands up, looks at Sehun from head to toe and starts walking along the alleyway. Unlike everyone else, Minseok leads him away from the street, further into the shadows. Sehun hasn't actually walked from here before.

"Do you know where this leads?" Sehun asks.

"Nope."

"...Then why are we going here?" 

"Because we're on an adventure," Minseok says.

"Where did you plan to get these drinks from?" Sehun asks but bumps into Minseok when the older one stops on his tracks. He turns around.

"Shh," he hushes. "Don't worry about anything."

Then he turns around and starts walking again. Sehun blinks a few times in confusion. How could he not worry when he's with Minseok? What if the other boy is trying to lead him to a life of crime?

They stand before an old store. There is alcohol, Sehun can see through the windows. Minseok turns to him again.

"Stay here and wait till I come back."

"You're not gonna steal, are you?" Sehun asks. Minseok shakes his head.

"I don't have to," he says and walks inside. Sehun peeks in through the windows to see the older boy walking up to the old cashier who smiles brightly upon seeing him. She walks over to him and gives him a hug to which he replies. They look like they've known each other for a long while, Sehun figures. Maybe the old lady could tell him something about Minseok...

Or maybe he'll just wait for Minseok to tell him. His evil plans and his evil motives. His evil face and that devil's body...

Sehun hasn't admitted it, but he saw a dream of Minseok once. They were fighting, yes, but suddenly the fighting changed. Suddenly Minseok kissed him. At first Sehun was confused, but then he replied to the kiss and it got more and more heated.

Sehun had just told himself that it was Junmyeon. That it was Junmyeon in the dream. He kissed Junmyeon. Not Minseok.

Now he wasn't so sure anymore. The vivid vision of his dream haunts him. 

Minseok walks out of the store with two bottles of soju. He raises them and hands Sehun the other one.

"Have you ever drank soju?" he asks. Sehun looks at the bottle. There's a percentage, but he doesn't know what it means. He shakes his head. Minseok sighs deeply. "Hold on." He hands Sehun the other bottle and goes back inside the store. The old lady working there just smiles brightly and offers Minseok a couple of other drinks in a plastic bag.

Then he walks out again and takes the bottles of soju from Sehun. 

"I got something milder for you."

"Who is that old lady?" Sehun asks and Minseok raises his eyebrow. "You seem to know her."

"...I kind of got the money for her knee surgery. She wouldn't have walked without it."

"...And you got the money by stealing," Sehun says. Minseok shrugs.

"Like I said, it's a matter of perspective. Those rich kids didn't need that. She needed that. Everybody knows the poor are sicker, but the rich don't care. They have the money that helps them keep healthy. These people don't. She should be retired, but she's not, because she can't."

Sehun keeps quiet and looks at the ground. He only follows Minseok who starts leading the way. He has no idea where they're going, where Minseok is taking him, what part of the city they're in. But he follows because he has nothing better to do and he would rather be here with Minseok than in the bottom of his bed another day.

Then they're standing in a small alleyway in the back end of nowhere. Sehun looks at the trailer before them. It looks old and abandoned.

Minseok opens the door with his keys.

"You coming in or not?" he asks and walks inside, putting the bottles on a couch. Sehun takes a few steps forward timidly, looking all around himself. Minseok locks the door behind him. "Are you scared?" 

Sehun turns around and doesn't know where to sit or what to do, so he just stands there awkwardly. When he saw the thing from outside, he thought it would be trashy, but it seems that Minseok has everything in perfect order and there is no dirt anywhere.

"Take your shoes off," Minseok says. Sehun didn't even realize he would have to, but he obliges. "The audacity..."

"I thought this place would be trashy," Sehun says honestly. Minseok puts his arms on his hips. 

"I take that as a personal insult. You know, telling me I'm a monster and accusing me of murder, that's one thing, but telling me you thought I live like a pig? Spare me."

Sehun scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. There's a small couch and a small table before it.

"Sit down," Minseok says and Sehun does as he's told. The older one sits next to him and takes the bottles from the bag. He hands the milder alcohol to Sehun and looks at him in the eyes. "Drink this."

"Don't you have... anything other than alcohol for me to drink?" Sehun asks. "Or eat..."

"No. I mean I do have a bit of water, and there's a puddle outside," Minseok says. Sehun furrows his eyebrows.

"I could buy you some food. And... water," he says. Minseok tilts his head.

"That..." Minseok starts as he looks away. All the curtains are closed. "...Would be very helpful, actually."

"I don't have any money on me now, but..."

"The night is young," Minseok says and clinks the soju bottle with Sehun's cider. "And I do have  _ some  _ ramen..."

Sehun takes a sip. It doesn't taste so bad. Minseok takes a sip too and his face scrunches a little. It makes Sehun smile a little. But most of all the weight of the situation makes him almost laugh. 

Him. Sitting in Minseok's father's trailer. Drinking alcohol with him. 

Minseok takes another long sip and Sehun only a little. He doesn't feel the effects just yet.

"This situation is kind of surreal..." Sehun points out.

"No kidding," Minseok lets out a laugh. "I didn't think you'd actually say yes."

"Anything is better than being alone in the bottom of my bed."

"Let me guess," Minseok says as he takes another long sip. "You don't feel anything. But you want to feel something. Which is why you hate it there and would do anything just to feel."

"How'd you know?" Sehun asks and takes a sip. He takes a longer sip this time, the alcohol burning in his throat despite the cider tasting just like soda. But then his stomach feels a little weird.

"Because it's the same with me," Minseok says and takes another long sip, finishing the whole bottle. Sehun's eyes widen. Soju is stronger than the cider he is drinking and Minseok could just finish it like that. Maybe his throat hurts and he regrets it. At least he seems like it when his face seems to be molded into a permanent grimace that makes Sehun laugh. "This isn't funny."

"Yes it is. This whole situation is funny." Minseok turns to look at him with those dark eyes. There's a little smile on his lips despite his eyes still looking the same - demanding.

He takes the other soju bottle, takes a sip and then hands it over to Sehun. The younger one takes a sip and his grimaces immediately. Minseok only laughs at this before taking the bottle back and taking a sip.

He stands up and takes out his phone, putting on some music. 

"I love this song," Minseok says and puts on TVXQ's Mirotic. He then proceeds to sing the song while pretending that the bottle is his microphone. Sehun starts laughing and clapping, sometimes sipping his own drink.

Minseok performs a couple of other songs for Sehun, until he's so wasted he can barely stand. Sehun keeps giggling and clapping. His cheeks are flushed and his stomach is in knots, his legs don't seem to carry him and a tingling sensation travels downward.

It doesn't help that Minseok takes his hand and takes him to the bed in the back of the trailer. There's a little left of his soju, so he gives Sehun some of it. Instead of letting him drink it on his own, he presses the bottle on Sehun's lips and makes him drink it. Sehun is too drunk to care, but he laughs while consuming the liquid, successfully making it so that the alcohol pours down his cheek, his neck, and onto his shirt.

"Silly me," Minseok says. "I'll get that." Sehun feels shivers down his body when instead of feeling Minseok's hands or a towel on his neck, he feels the older boy's lips. He lets out a moan accidentally when Minseok sucks his way up to Sehun's lips. He hesitates a little when their noses are touching. Sehun's eyes are half lidded and he would do anything if Minseok would just touch him now. His whole body is on fire and he becomes more needy, almost tearing up.

His breathing becomes more rapid when Minseok looms over him and gently moves forward to kiss him. Sehun kisses him back eagerly and soon Sehun is on the bed, on his back, holding Minseok on top of him as the older boy puts his thigh between Sehun's legs, giving his crotch some friction that makes him whine.

When Minseok stops kissing him, Sehun whines from the loss of contact. The older boy starts dragging Sehun's shirt up.

"You've got some on your shirt," he says when revealing Sehun's skin. The younger one lets him, even helps him, and soon Minseok is leaving kisses all over his body. He is extra careful and affectionate around the bruises that he has given Sehun himself. 

And somewhere around this time Sehun starts sobering up. He keeps staring at the ceiling and realizing that he's making out with Minseok - Minseok, who he is supposed to be hating.

His body tenses up and he takes a few deep breaths. Doubt and regret, but mostly confusion, are taking over his mind. Minseok notices this so he stops and plops down on the bed next to him. When Sehun turns over to look at him, his eyes are already closed.

***

In the morning Sehun feels horrible. He almost throws up and his stomach is turning, his head aches. A migraine is about to take over.

When he looks over at Minseok, he sees that the older boy has taken his shirt off and has some bruises on him. Sehun is shirtless too, and somehow his pants are also gone. He has some new bruises as well, some that look different, but he refuses his mind to think of anything other than fighting - him and Minseok must have fought.

Half-naked.

In bed.

He gets up gently, trying not to wake up Minseok. He takes his shirt and pants, puts them on, almost falls on the ground as he walks towards the door. He hears the bed creak. Minseok is getting up, but he doesn't turn to see him, only moves forward.

And Minseok doesn't say a word as Sehun opens the door and tries to make his way through the city to home hungover.

***

As soon as he's home, his father is expecting him. It's like he didn't have a life apart from tormenting Sehun all the time.

"I thought you were supposed to be at work," Sehun says but keeps his voice low. His father yells, however, making Sehun's ears ring.

"Where have you been?" As soon as he sees Sehun groaning, his eyes widen. "Are you hungover?"

"Ugh. God. My head. Let me just sleep," Sehun says and walks towards the stairs slowly. He feels like death. 

"Go to shower. And drink some water... Actually, go to your bed. I'll bring you some water," the father says. Sehun really doesn't care. "And you're even more grounded."


	31. Lovehate

\- September - 

The night they drank together is unspoken of between the two. They've just fought a couple of times after that, acted like they were mortal enemies. They have had a few sentimental conversations but that's it.

Sehun is confused. The most confused he is about the fact that he is now standing outside of Minseok's trailer in the pouring rain, holding a bag of groceries that he bought for the other young man with his father's money.

He knocks. The door is opened by shirtless Minseok who's smoking a cigarette. His eyebrows raise when he sees Sehun.

"I didn't expect to see you," he says and looks at the other boy from head to toe, his eyes gluing on the bag of groceries. They stand there silently for a moment as Minseok takes a hit of his cigarette, raising his eyes to meet Sehun's. "I'll enjoy this better if you get bronchitis and die."

Sehun gives him a glare that makes Minseok smile. Sehun doesn't understand why that is, but Minseok invites him in by keeping the door open and stepping out of his way. The younger one walks in and leaves the groceries on the table. He's soaking wet and it makes Minseok seemingly uncomfortable.

"You should relieve yourself from your clothes," Minseok says and offers to take Sehun's clothes off, but Sehun takes a step back as soon as Minseok's hand lands on his arm. "So you wouldn't actually die of bronchitis. I have a towel."

Sehun looks at the ground gloomily before accepting the towel from Minseok and taking off his clothes. It's not very warm in the trailer, but it's warmer than outside. As soon as the cold air hits Sehun's skin, he starts to shiver. When he has nothing but his boxer briefs on, he wraps the towel around himself and sits on the couch.

Minseok tilts his head while looking at him, taking a hit of his cigarette again. The place is clean, and if it weren't for Minseok's bad habit, it would probably smell clean, too.

"Want a drink?" Minseok asks. "You look down." He walks to his fridge and takes out some beer that Sehun has never even seen before. 

"What is this?" he asks and takes the cold bottle in his hand.

"Beer. Lemon," Minseok says. He puts the groceries in their right place in the cabinet and when his cigarette has run out, he simply throws it outside into the rain.

Sehun takes a sip of the beer, again cringing at the taste. Minseok smiles at him before taking a sip of the same bottle, making Sehun think about the fact that both their lips touched the opening of that bottle. It's like an indirect kiss that Minseok gave him - or he gave Minseok?

Minseok takes another beer from the fridge, this time strawberry-flavored.

"You seem to like... fruits," Sehun says.

"Strawberry is a berry," Minseok points out and takes a long sip of his bottle. "But yeah, I like them."

They sit in silence for a while, awkwardly. Sehun feels like he has a stick up his ass. He really doesn't know why he came here. After all, Minseok is supposed to be his mortal enemy. In a way he hates him, hates him more than anything in this world, but still he's here, drinking beer with him. And in a way he likes it. Maybe he likes it that he doesn't have to be alone, so any company is good company. He would invite Jungkook over if the other boy wasn't so busy studying.

"What do you wanna do when you grow up?" Minseok asks. "You've told me before. Do you still want the same thing?"

Sehun looks down and takes another sip. "No. I don't know." He can't tell Minseok about his growing superpowers that will define his future. Yesterday he was certain that he controlled the wind again by making the door fly open. It was his doing, he knows it.

"Do you still hate me for being a bad person?" Minseok asks.

"Yes," Sehun says and drinks more. He wants more. The last time they got drunk together was fun because he didn't have to deal with reality.

Now he wants to forget about his father yelling at him, his brother not talking to him and his mother looking sad every day. Most of his days he spends alone with his mother, but they haven't gotten any closer.

Minseok looks up and downs the whole beer.

"Too bad," he says. "I hate you too." He turns to look at Sehun who's shivering and crossing his arms. "But I kind of like you, too."

Sehun turns his head slowly to see Minseok looking at him with those dark, half-lidded eyes. They're almost seductive. If Sehun wasn't under the influence, he wouldn't even dare to think about Minseok this way.

He takes a longer sip and the liquid seems to go straight down to his crotch.

Minseok stands up and goes to the fridge to take another bottle of beer. He offers Sehun his hand.

"Come with me."

Sehun looks at his hand and eyes alternatively, weighing his options. But he accepts it, the older one helping him on his feet and walking him towards the bed. Sehun follows, feeling hot just thinking about the last time he was here, in Minseok's bed. His lips felt so good yet so wrong.

He's not sure if he wants more or if he wants nothing to do with Minseok ever again.

Minseok throws him on the bed, takes his phone from his pants' pocket and puts on some music to fill the silence. He puts the phone on the small table next to the bed and then plops down on the bed as well, sitting next to Sehun who's now laying on his side, facing Minseok.

The older boy starts caressing his hair gently and Sehun looks up at him with big eyes. He doesn't even remember the last time anyone was so tender with him.

Instead of something crazy, Minseok put on some lofi music that makes Sehun feel even more at ease as he looks into the other boy's eyes. Those half-lidded dark eyes. Those eyes that give him so much anxiety yet peace at the same time.

Minseok turns Sehun on his back and places himself between his legs. Sehun instinctively spreads his legs and holds Minseok's arms as the other boy hovers on top of him, leaning closer and closer. Sehun can feel his dick pressing against his ass and his own erection squeezing between him and Minseok.

"I hate you," Minseok says as he starts kissing Sehun's neck, up to his jaw. "But I want you."

He starts giving Sehun a hickey, his arms holding Sehun close and tight, making the latter moan. He closes his eyes and grabs Minseok's arms, holding him closer if possible. Minseok traces Sehun's upper body with his lips, leaving kisses here and there, making sure that every place is marked.

And Sehun lets it happen. No, he wants it to happen. He wants something more, too, but he doesn't dare to ask for it. He isn't drunk enough to ask Minseok to touch him.

Minseok kisses up his jaw to finally find his lips. He looks at Sehun for a moment intently, evaluating if the other boy wants this too, and when seeing the needy look in Sehun's eyes he decides to go for it. Sehun holds Minseok's head when their lips finally meet, ruffles his hair and caresses his face, enjoying it like it was the best kiss he had ever experienced. So good yet so bad. He knows he's going to regret it in the morning, but that's next morning's problem. Right now Sehun only cares about having Minseok closer, closer, closer...

***

Sehun does regret everything in the morning. They didn't even talk much last night, and they don't exchange a single word in the morning. Sehun grabs his clothes that are now dry, puts them on and leaves the trailer as quickly as he can. He walks all the way home, this time much less hungover as last time, to be scolded by his father again. He thought Yongsoo would be at work by now.

The father sits at the table in the kitchen when he sees his younger son walking in.

"Where were you last night?" he asks. "Does _ being grounded  _ mean nothing to you?"

Sehun doesn't reply, only goes to make himself some breakfast.

"Answer me when I speak to you," Yongsoo demands but Sehun does not reply. Only makes himself breakfast, his mind occupied with Minseok. He feels filthy, like he did something that he shouldn't have, but at the same time it feels wrong to be home. His overall existence feels out of place. Everything is wrong. "Sejin is so worried about you that he hasn't been eating. Have you noticed? He stayed home today because he simply cannot attend lectures  _ because of you _ . He cannot stop worrying about you so he can't do anything. And now you won't even accept his help? You are so selfish."

Sehun still doesn't care, just grabs his food and takes it up to his room, his mind filled with thoughts of Minseok and Minseok only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hennies. I just recently published an original story on Wattpad. I would really appreciate it if you checked it out: https://www.wattpad.com/story/219434763-cross-europe-boyxboy
> 
> I was also thinking of revising Kryptonite into an original character story once it's done. This story is really something that got me back into writing so it's really close to my heart. <3


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